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Please come and help me to stop mooning over this totally inappropriate man

(39 Posts)
sillysillySILLYgirl Tue 10-Sep-13 13:18:02

I am a silly silly girl.

I've been single for two years following a horrible marriage breakdown. And I love it. I've had a few dalliances with men, some one night stands and its great, not looking for a relationship at all, or so I thought.

Enter (we'll call him Mark). Mark who is at least 9 years younger than me (early twenties), who floored this independent happily single woman from the first second I saw him, Mark who looks like something that just walked out of GQ magazine, Mark who doesn't text from one week to the next but who is so good in bed you may as well discount any other sex you ever will or have had. And i'm not exaggerating. But he is a dick. A complete dick. But the sex, I honestly didn't know sex could be so...just wow. So we have a few tumultuous months of heavy sex mixed in with him disappearing/not calling/not turning up to dates and then turning back up for another wild week. Mark who managed to convince me that it was fun not being exclusive with each other and "who actually needs a relationship?" And I went along with it hmm. I'm not joking, I turned into a silly little girl waiting for a man to call and bless her with his cock.

Until the day he finally doesn't turn up for good and texts to say he's met someone he's fallen in love with and didn't we have such a good time and he hopes we can be friends.

And months go by and I felt like someone had taken my favorite xmas present away and I sulked and sulked and my friends constantly had hmm that look on their faces.

This is NOT ME. I have a career, a really good one! I manage a house and children and I sit on committees for gods sake! And i'm sat around sulking in my PJ's.

And then yesterday 4 months after I last saw or heard from him....yesterday I come out of work and hear a wolf whistle over the carpark...and there he was. In all his glorious, sexy, big cock, shag me now lent against my car self. And what did I do? Did I flip him the bird and stalk off? Did I come out with some sassy comeback and drive off with some strong woman music blasting out of my car? legs turned to jelly, I actually fucking SIMPERED and an hour later we are having sex at his house. He's newly single and the girlfriend didn't work out and I actually drove home from his shouting 'you stupid stupid stupid GIRL' at myself. The best bit is after the sex, when he says "oh I changed my number and cant remember it but i'll drop it into you soon yeah" angry hmm.

Why why why has this man got such a hold on me. Shake me or something and shout at me to tell him to do one. THIS is only ever going one way and I know why the hell can't I just tell him im not interested?

FloraFoxley Tue 10-Sep-13 22:58:37

For god sake man the fuck up princess.

You sound about 15.

And yes ... I agree with Kelly . This will be another rom com for the credulous thickos

tallwivglasses Tue 10-Sep-13 22:41:34

"when your old and wrinkly you can look back with a huge smile!"

You see I am old and wrinkly and I deeply regret some of the stupid situations I found myself in when my brain was in my undies.

Now what gets me excited is when new buds appear on my rosebushes. A toad moved into my backyard the other day and I was overjoyed. It makes a refreshing change, I can tell you.

UterusUterusGhali Tue 10-Sep-13 22:22:18

It's probably best if you know nothing about him. And if he is dull as dish water. (Or ditch water? I dunno.)

What would be worse is if you had a fuck buddy who turned out to be funny and kind and interesting and intelligent, and you found yourself wanting to spend time with him not fucking, although falling for him would be entirely inappropriate.
(Not that that's happened to me. Oh no. Not at all.)

TalkativeJim Tue 10-Sep-13 22:00:14

OP he sounds VERY dull.

All this grinning and lolling over cars.

Does he read? Does he debate? Can he shoot, swim, fish?

No, he just lolls around in car parks, grinning and then having sex - yet again.


KatieScarlett2833 Tue 10-Sep-13 19:01:00

Nothing wrong with a bit of drool now and then! I'm not dead yet wink

KellyHopter Tue 10-Sep-13 18:09:50

Turned out to be a troll, much to the disappointment of the bored and dull who were apparently spontaneously jizzing all over the place from the mere mention of the entirely made up lickable boss.

Not Mns finest hour.

sillysillySILLYgirl Tue 10-Sep-13 18:09:27've just hit on the very vague feeling I had in the back of my head. I don't think he particularly like "me", he likes the physical "me".

I can't really remember him ever showing an interest in "me" beyond a vague how was your week, what did you get up to. And he doesn't talk about himself. So it's just sex really.

KellyHopter Tue 10-Sep-13 18:07:15

Cheesy romcom for thickos style thread about a boss op wanted to lick.

Chubfuddler Tue 10-Sep-13 18:05:22

Licky boss?

KellyHopter Tue 10-Sep-13 18:04:24

Oh god is this going to turn into another licky boss weirdo wank fest?

KellyHopter Tue 10-Sep-13 18:03:26

I think
A) nothing wrong with mutually enjoyable sex that isn't leading anywhere else
B) it would make me feel utterly wretched to have sex with a person who didn't actually like me. "oh I changed my number and cant remember it but i'll drop it into you soon yeah" hmm

Wouldn't care what the frig he looked like.

Johnny5needsinput Tue 10-Sep-13 18:01:02

I have one of these. YEARS younger than me but sex on legs. I am just broken up with not-so DP and you've MADE ME THINK LUSTFUL THOUGHTS.

Not been in touch with him for years but I know if he was in the car park tomorrow as I came out of work.....

blush envy

sillysillySILLYgirl Tue 10-Sep-13 17:54:08

I honestly have no idea if he has a brother, he gives NOTHING away about himself. I could probably tell you his name, age, job and what car he drives. And address and penis size.

That's all, he's very elusive.

Chubfuddler Tue 10-Sep-13 16:55:24

TBH as long as you are not actually being hurt by this carry on. As a fucking partner he sounds marvellous.

Does he have a brother?

scrazy Tue 10-Sep-13 16:47:31

FB's are OK as such, it wouldn't do for me as I prefer to do something beforehand. However, he should respect you for what it is and not jerk you around by standing you up etc.

Guccidayoneday Tue 10-Sep-13 16:40:53

Sillysilly your post has made me chuckle. He sounds just fantastic! All the fun without the picking up the smelly socks! Enjoy yourself, when your old and wrinkly you can look back with a huge smile!

KatieScarlett2833 Tue 10-Sep-13 16:34:24

Shag him now but do not stop the real man search.
When you find a good un, you will walk away with a smile ( albeit bow legged).
And can I also have a go when you're done with him, please?

meditrina Tue 10-Sep-13 15:23:09

You're not a girl, you're a grown woman and you can have a fuck buddy if you want one.

Just don't kid yourself that you're anything more than a fallback. Always use a condom, and STI testing if you get carried away.

FetchezLaVache Tue 10-Sep-13 15:13:59

Condoms, woman, is all I have to say on the subject.

(faintly jealous)

cloudskitchen Tue 10-Sep-13 15:12:12

He's using you (clearly) which is fine if your using him back and therefore reciprocal but I think you feel more than that for him and thats why you cursed yourself on the way home. You need to shift it more into your terms. Try saying no next time and see how you feel smile

DuchessFanny Tue 10-Sep-13 14:52:43

this is a lie grin

sillysillySILLYgirl Tue 10-Sep-13 14:40:56

duchess and woodenpeg. YES, I was just getting to the oh well it was fun whilst it lasted part. And then he shows up.

Another month and i'd of told him where to get off this is a lie

Woodenpeg Tue 10-Sep-13 14:03:21

Love it. Sorry, but I do.

I've been in your shoes, and now when I look back and smile. A LOT.

It's bloody FUN. It's really frustrating, and there is nothing you can do about it. He will have that effect on a great deal of women. His age especially, but clearly not exclusively.

Enjoy the way he makes you feel for what it is. Or cut contact... either way one day you will look on this and it will make you smile.

For what it's worth, after not speaking to my young hot thing for a few years, he got back in contact. I was ready then, things were on my terms... it felt great. Because I didn't really care... still makes me smile!

Good luck OP and enjoy the next time!

DuchessFanny Tue 10-Sep-13 13:54:51

Yeah I've been there !
Didn't recognise myself when I was with him, didn't help that all my mates were ' phwoaaaar you lucky, lucky cow'
In all honesty I look back and I'm glad I did it, I totally gave in to my own pleasure ( and his obvs !) whenever he deemed to turn up !!
I knew it wouldn't amount to anything and I knew it would end somewhere and it did, as it will for you.
I'm probably not saying the right thing but just bloody enjoy it while it lasts ! When you're old and grey you'll look back and the sex memories will prob put a bit of colour in your cheeks and a spring in your step !

I should probably point out that I am madly in love and lust with DH so this is easy for me to say !!!

niceupthedance Tue 10-Sep-13 13:53:15

Sillysilly the way you have written this is hilarious! Sounds like you're worried about when he pisses off again though. Can you beat him to it and attempt to find someone else to moon over?

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