I am a silly silly girl.
I've been single for two years following a horrible marriage breakdown. And I love it. I've had a few dalliances with men, some one night stands and its great, not looking for a relationship at all, or so I thought.
Enter (we'll call him Mark). Mark who is at least 9 years younger than me (early twenties), who floored this independent happily single woman from the first second I saw him, Mark who looks like something that just walked out of GQ magazine, Mark who doesn't text from one week to the next but who is so good in bed you may as well discount any other sex you ever will or have had. And i'm not exaggerating. But he is a dick. A complete dick. But the sex, I honestly didn't know sex could be so...just wow. So we have a few tumultuous months of heavy sex mixed in with him disappearing/not calling/not turning up to dates and then turning back up for another wild week. Mark who managed to convince me that it was fun not being exclusive with each other and "who actually needs a relationship?" And I went along with it . I'm not joking, I turned into a silly little girl waiting for a man to call and bless her with his cock.
Until the day he finally doesn't turn up for good and texts to say he's met someone he's fallen in love with and didn't we have such a good time and he hopes we can be friends.
And months go by and I felt like someone had taken my favorite xmas present away and I sulked and sulked and my friends constantly had that look on their faces.
This is NOT ME. I have a career, a really good one! I manage a house and children and I sit on committees for gods sake! And i'm sat around sulking in my PJ's.
And then yesterday 4 months after I last saw or heard from him....yesterday I come out of work and hear a wolf whistle over the carpark...and there he was. In all his glorious, sexy, big cock, shag me now lent against my car self. And what did I do? Did I flip him the bird and stalk off? Did I come out with some sassy comeback and drive off with some strong woman music blasting out of my car?
Nope...my legs turned to jelly, I actually fucking SIMPERED and an hour later we are having sex at his house. He's newly single and the girlfriend didn't work out and I actually drove home from his shouting 'you stupid stupid stupid GIRL' at myself. The best bit is after the sex, when he says "oh I changed my number and cant remember it but i'll drop it into you soon yeah" .
Why why why has this man got such a hold on me. Shake me or something and shout at me to tell him to do one. THIS is only ever going one way and I know that...so why the hell can't I just tell him im not interested?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Please come and help me to stop mooning over this totally inappropriate man
sillysillySILLYgirl · 10/09/2013 13:18
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