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DP and DD came to a show down, Im piggy in the middle

(26 Posts)
twoteens Tue 10-Sep-13 12:36:51

dd1 is 18 next month, and dd2 is 17 next month, for 10yrs it was just me and the dds after there dad left and moved 200 miles away so not much contact there.
I really over compensated for the fact that there it was only me and the dds and probley let them get way with far too much.

not helping around the home, not being respectful enough to me, but in other walks of life they are bright clever girls who have let me down on occasions but not really cased me major concern. but really did have the run of our home.

I met dp nearly 3 years ago he was the first man that the girls really got to know and they liked him and were pleased that he made me happy by this point they have very much there own lives so pleased that I had met someone.

me and dp split last year for a short time and I took it hard and the dds knew how upset I was, we got back together and after a while decided that we would give it a go living together.
I discussed it with the dds and they were ok but not overly keen, the reasons i believe is that they know I firm up a little when having back up although he wouldn't interfere.

DD1 is very untidy indeed and lazy in respect of helping around the home its always just in a minute and later and to be fair I have let her get away with it as its just easier then a showdown (I know I havnt done her any favors )
DP is fairly tidy not over the top when he moved in he said that I need to be a bit tougher on dds and get them to help me more round the home and to respect me more but he wouldn't interfere.

Its all been building up and it blew this morning dd1 and dp had words a couple of weeks ago as she used stuff of his and left it lying about she spoke to him very rudely he called her lazy and disrespectful it had been building up.
He gets cross with the way they speak to me and
treat me.
This morning they had a row and really just told each other what they think of each other with me in the middle upset. dd telling me she is going to move out, knowing too well that I wouldn't let her do that.

Dp is not happy as he says I dont back him up when she is being rude to him, and its not going to work unless I get harder with dd, he has a teenage son who he sees but hasnt lived with for 8 years so the dynamics are new to him.
I dont know what to do as I love dp and really want to make it work, the dds have very much there own lives and will most likely be off to uni in the next couple of years but I cant live like this.
dd2 has her moments but her and dp are ok.

HansieMom Tue 10-Sep-13 15:35:36

You do have four adults living in your home. Your DDs should share in housework and cooking. They could have one supper and one breakfast that they each plan and shop for. I have a feeling that they currently do not lift a finger.

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