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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Urrgh. I feel loopy and disorientated after domestic violence

2 replies

currentlyconfuseddotcom · 09/09/2013 21:41

I was with him from a young age and I only left last year because I got forced out by domestic violence agency and police. It was really awful.

We're still in contact and although I really wanted to have children I'm glad I didn't, I didn't think it was the right thing to do. But I heard from him earlier and it really hurt. It's not the stereotypical thing of a left partner saying things to win you back, he just said that he had been let down by some people and missed 'us' (I could never get my head around it being DV as he was very reliable in other ways). It escalated last year when I lost my family and became introverted and he hit me. I trembled in a corner then reached out to agencies and they reacted very quickly.

I think everything will be fine and I plan to start the freedom program this month so will move on in that sense. I also want him to be fine though. Is this just not my province and I should stop fretting?

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something2say · 09/09/2013 21:59

No he is not your province. I would suggest that something with someone else has upset him and he has texted you thinking you are his fall back, will always be there.

But it is not a good is to have any contact with him, as it will give him the is that you are there for him, caring away, and he brings his business to your life again, which as you already know has caused you trouble.

Tennis.

Someone can't play tennis with you if you don't hit the ball back over the net.

I would advise you delete and block his number. Or if not, why not? And if not, do not reply to his messages.

When you lie down with dogs you end up covered with their hair. Choose the hair you want covering you, it should not harm you and make you sad. This guy brings trouble. Find a new guy and new hair which is better xxx

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currentlyconfuseddotcom · 10/09/2013 06:59

Something, thanks, you're absolutely right - he did say that someone had let him down, I don't know specifics. I have to be in contact to sort out some paperwork but it should be done soon so all contact will end afterwards.

I was surprised to have such a strong reaction towards it though and start fretting about how he is again.

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