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help me grow some balls. ..

(2 Posts)
monkeybuts Mon 09-Sep-13 21:08:25

my first post here. .I need some help. .

I have been with dp 6years, 2yo dd and due to marry soon.

I struggle with his mother alot. She is very assertive, self assured and very brass and generally rude ..she just doesn't realise she's doing It most of the time ...its second nature.

After dd was born I knew I had to grow some balls so she wouldn't walk all over me. For a long time I was able to do this. Somehow we are back to a place where she reguarly upsets me and I can't seem to act like a grown up and stand up for myself.

For example: I unexpectedly had a lovely text from a newish friend complimenting me on what a wonderful job I do at work and with my dd. I was really grateful for it as today had been a tough ride with the terrible twos. Whilst showing/explaining to dp, mil pipes up 'how much did you pay her to write that then?' .....Im so hurt but I said nothing and instead have scuttled to bed. I am cross she makes me feel like this in my own home - she turned up yesterday bag in tow after deciding she would stay a few nights.

Its a minor, petty example .but I wouldn't let someone else treat me like this why can't I control this situation? dp is stuck.. pil do lots for us, mine do nothing in comparison. His mums been like this for so long everyone just lets her get away with it. I constantly try to please her and I really don't know why. ...please help!

tillyann2013 Mon 09-Sep-13 21:51:19

Hi monkey, I could have written that post a few months ago so I can totally sympathise with you. My mil is also very assertive, controlling woman and it has finally come to a head. Everyone always pussy foots around her and its always been her way or the highway. However, a few months ago, we had a disagreement over her buying a bike for our dd (6). She already knew we wanted to get it for her but she went ahead and done it and then threw her toys out of the pram when we called her on it. She is still huffing 3 months on but is just making herself look a fool. Anyway, my advice would be to nip it in the bud as soon as you can otherwise it will continue to fester and make you upset.

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