Hi,
I have a perfect DD who was a surprise. Neither of us were what you would call ready but then who is. We were 23 and 24 when I was pregnant and 24 and 25 when she was born so of a reasonable age to settle down also having been together for about 5 years. We are now 26 and 27.
Recently, he is very depressed. He feels his life is spent looking forward to coming home from work but once he is home just waiting to go to sleep as we either just watch Dora or play with our daughter. When I suggest a trip to the park etc he just says he doesn't want to. He says he was not ready for family life and does not enjoy it.
The weekends are worse, He freely admits sleeping in for as long as possible at the weekends because the weekends are so boring and lie ins are the only thing he looks forward to in his pitiful life. Once again, any suggestions for family fun are met with 'I dont want to do that' or 'thats boring'. He simply only gets excited or motivated about going out with his friends. His friends mostly have kids now and mostly the rest have settled with partners and probably will have them soon. Practically everything to do with our 2 year old daughter is left to me. He has changed a few nappies but has no idea how to actually do them, has never once bathed her, once or twice he has put her to bed but never on his own as i was there too. I literally do everything apart from one night a week (2.5hrs max which he acts like is the biggest deal ever and never fails to bring it up if i ask for more) and very rare occasions when he cares for her. He even once text me asking how long it would be til i was home as she had done a poo.
He has stated many a time that his unhappiness is not with me as he couldnt ask for a better girlfriend but also thinks the way to solve this problem is to leave me. He states he is not sure what he wants. This weekend he dropped a clanger, stating that if he did leave, he would want her to live with him. I said NO straight away. I have always said I would be more than reasonable. He can see her whenever he wants but she lives with me, end of! My problem is, if it isn't me that he is unhappy with... Why the hell am I the only thing he wants out of his life? If she lives with him everything stays the same apart from me and he obviously has no idea how to look after her as he has never done it. We both work full time so after work it should be equal i think. We have a good life, we own our own house, have good jobs each, own cars, beautiful daughter and good health. I think he needs to understand the value of that but he simply doesnt.
BASICALLY, I AM WONDERING WHAT ACTIVITIES I CAN DO WITH A TODDLER THAT ALWAYS PLAYS UP IN PUBLIC THAT WILL INCLUDE AND EXCITE HIM AND PERSUADE HIM THAT ITS NOT ALL DOOM AND GLOOM???
Thanks in Advance
A very desperate mother
xx
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Relationships
Relationship in need of fixing URGENTLY
TwittyMcTwitterson · 09/09/2013 13:35
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