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Is this a red flag or not?

(9 Posts)
VelvetSpoon Mon 09-Sep-13 13:04:53

Would you think it a red flag if a man admitted to you that he had moved several hundred miles away from his DC? (and as a result only saw them during school holidays).

The move was following the breakdown of his relationship with their mother, and to find work.

It doesn't sit quite right with me...views?

SleepyCatOnTheMat Mon 09-Sep-13 13:07:08

Not necessarily a red flag...I'd want to know more. What does he do for work? How much time exactly does he spend with his kids?

DreadLock Mon 09-Sep-13 13:07:13

hmm tricky one. Is he supporting the children financially? Maybe he had to move due to work and paying for his kids.

If on the other hand he is not supporting them in any way then I would be a tad suspicious.

SleepyCatOnTheMat Mon 09-Sep-13 13:09:44

As in if he works in quite a specialist field in which jobs are few and far between and he sees his kids for a large chunk of the school holidays that would be ok.

Viking1 Mon 09-Sep-13 13:10:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelvetSpoon Mon 09-Sep-13 13:16:02

From what I've been told:

Yes, he supports DC financially, and sees them for 3 weeks in the summer, 2 at easter and 2 half terms.

Not a specialist job, but now living in London so certainly earning a lot more than he would have working in the other area.

I'm on the fence about it.

VelvetSpoon Mon 09-Sep-13 13:47:07

Thinking of proceeding with caution, going for a drink and trying to suss him out a bit more. Tbh with my track record it probably won't get beyond date 1 so I may have no need for concern!

mummytime Mon 09-Sep-13 14:02:09

There are lots of jobs, where there is far more demand in London than elsewhere - is he in one of those?
Could it have been because he'd have struggled to both support them and live comfortably if he'd stayed local? Was he always going to move? Was it a step up? etc.
How much other contact does he have with them? (Skype etc.)

VelvetSpoon Mon 09-Sep-13 19:44:19

I don't think it sounds as though he'd planned to move. Or that it is a step up in career terms (although undoubtedly would have been in salary).

I think I'll keep an open-ish mind, and see what other info comes out, I am fairly cynical anyway so if it does get beyond date 1 I suspect I may find out stuff I don't like...

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