Bit of background. Have a best friend who I class as a sister. Been friends for about 15 years and been through a lot together. Bereavements, serious illness of my dp, dv for her from exp and all the drama in between.
Only ever seriously fell out once about 6 years ago when I was getting serious with my current dp. She basically made it impossible for me to spend time with her. Constantly criticising my dp. Really nasty stuff that was completely unacceptable and untrue. Stopped all contact after finally flipping over it and telling her that I couldn't cope with her anymore.
She contacted me via fb about 4 years ago. Apologised for her behaviour and asked if we could start again which I was happy to.
She has had some problems over the last few years. Attempted suicide. Suffers from depression. Made some poor choices that have added to her problems both practically and financially. I have picked her up and been there for her at the expense of my family.
Her latest drama is mostly her own making. I have tried to help. I have given her advice and have supported her emotionally and financially and practically.
I don't want a medal for it. She is my friend.
However for the last 4 weeks she has done nothing but dig at me and mine. Silly, bitchy comments that are just nasty enough to make me annoyed but not enough to make me flip without looking silly. And the more she does it the more likely I am to flip.
For instance we have ponies and go to shows together at the weekend and share travel costs. Anyway I am 25 weeks pg and have a 9 yo DD. My dp has started to come with us to help me out due to being pg. Friend seems to assume he is there to help her too which I don't mind but she talks to him like shit. And also seems to assume my dd is there to fetch and carry for her too. Of course my dd is too polite to say no. So I end up being pissed off that our day out is spent with my family being bossed around.
Another example from this afternoon. She asked if my mum was coming tomorrow to the show we are going to. Said that she was and that she was looking forward to it as she doesn't get to come as often as she would like due to working early shifts on Monday so finding it too much to be out all day on Sundays. Friend said her mother used to manage just fine. I replied that it was difficult for my mum as she works full time. Friend then got arsey over it as her mother didn't work due to illness and would have loved to so I was being a n arsehole to make the comparison.
I am seriously considering ending the friend ship for good. But know she will blame the fact that I am pg and therefore hormonal rather than accept any responsibility for it.
I intend to get tomorrow out of the way and then stop contacting her and really cut down on the amount of time I see her or speak to her. I can't remember the last time she was nice to be around. I can't remember the last time she asked about me or my family that wasn't in a nasty way. She digs constantly about my dp not doing enough to help me but never offers to help unless it benefits her. My dp works a 60 hour week and does anything I ask or need.
She is becoming more and more toxic and I really don't know why. I worry though that if I'm not around that her depression will take over again and she will do something silly.
Sorry that is so long. Just need to get it out and get some different perspectives on it all.
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is it just me?
12 replies
froubylou · 07/09/2013 19:55
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