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Any advice with getting exp to leave me alone would be appreciated

(32 Posts)
DragonsAreReal Sat 07-Sep-13 10:31:33

Have had a thread a few months ago on now exp, but to cut long story short he's a dickhead. He's lied repeatedly and twisted things where I would say sorry for what he had done, he's crossed so many boundaries and enough was enough.

He won't leave me alone, I try not to engage (doesn't always work) he turns up and barges his way in. Yesterday after dropping dc off after having them for a few hours after school he barged in went to my fridge helped himself to food, starts shouting at me because I refused to discuss his life and generally was throwing his weight around iyswim.

Last weekend it ended up instead of him having dc it ended up us all going to the cinema and his other dc. There again he doesn't leave me alone and when we went out after he's again grabbing my arse trying to kiss me ect ect.

Last night he was threatening me like a child if I didn't kiss him he was going to slap me. I didn't and he didn't but its still not nice.

He won't stick to a regular contact day and time either (cos he won't be in control) and I'm just so fed up of this stress.

I think because we had a volotile relationship and used to argue once a month and he would leave for 3 days he thinks I'm not so serious now. He has admitted we're not over till he says.

I just want him to leave me alone but still see the dc, I don't understand why he's still doing this. He has done some truly awful things to me but I'm the one who feels guilty and I have to be honest I do really miss him sometimes. Well I miss the nice times not the horrible times.

NettleTea Sun 08-Sep-13 22:48:28

Could be for the best. Ex said that if he couldn't come and take DD whenever he wanted he would wait til she was an adult and could come and see him on his own. In the end it took 3 years before he came crawling back and given the time he had missed he was not offered supervised contact via a court order.

DragonsAreReal Tue 10-Sep-13 19:50:35

Urgh he's been ringing me loads since yesterday, I told him I don't want to speak to him unless it's about dc and he can email it.

I have now received a few texts saying he will always love me and of course he wants to see the kids they are his world blablabla, I told him I don't want to hear it he was the one who made it this way and unless he's prepared to talk about regular contact I'm not going to reply. H'es sent back I'll let you know.

I told him it's fine let me know, but by the time he's done letting me know they will be older and to busy to want to see him.

I do actually feel a bit sad because if he wasn't such a prick sometimes and the good times were most of the time.

Anniegetyourgun Tue 10-Sep-13 19:58:22

You did well.

I told XH that if he rang me about anything other than contact with the DCs I would report him to the police for harassment. He said I was a paranoid half-wit and rang off, but I haven't had to listen to any of that shit since.

georgedawes Tue 10-Sep-13 20:02:13

well done.

DragonsAreReal Tue 10-Sep-13 20:06:08

I always get really paranoid and jumpy whenever he's like this as sometimes he does this and then turns up and wants to come in. So every loud car I'm peering out the curtains.

The police threat actually would work, I had to call them once before to remove him from the house when he was going off on one so he knows I will follow through.

It's all attention though isn't and I'm getting very tired of it. No matter what I seem to do he just won't let go.

SolidGoldBrass Tue 10-Sep-13 20:40:47

Just ignore, ignore, ignore. Is there anyone else likely to need to contact you urgently? If not, switch off or unplug all phones, ignore emails and if he does turn up, call the police again. Remember he has no right to any contact with YOU whatsoever, and if he does eventually go to court for contact with DC he will still not be given any right to contact with you.

DragonsAreReal Tue 10-Sep-13 21:31:57

This is not normal is it??

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