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Karma has come around and bitten me

(106 Posts)
karmasgotme Fri 06-Sep-13 14:26:07

Im posting on here because I am at my lowest of low and I cant turn to anyone in RL. I think I am hoping that someone might care enough to be kind to me today, but I am prepared for a flaming, I know how it works.

I have been having an affair with a married man for 18 months. I thought he loved me, I thought he would leave his wife eventually for me. He told me he loved me every day.

Then I found out he has been seeing someone else as well. I told him I knew and now he has ended things with me.

So now I have nobody at all. He has a wife and a mistress and I have nobody. I took some tablets this morning because I cant see any way out of this despair, but then I got scared and made myself sick. I cant function, I cant eat and I cant sleep, I just want this feeling to go away.

I love him. I gave him everything and he wasnt who I thought he was. I am a horrible person and now I have nobody at all

nicename Sun 15-Sep-13 10:54:24

That's great then. Now everyone is miserable and the wife's hate is most likely misdirected towards the OP rather than Cheaty McCheat.

Everyones a loser now, and the OP will feel like a right cowbag once she's had her five minutes of the lovely revenge warm and fuzzy feeling. And will he come a-crawling back? I think not.

OP - step away from the booze, facebook/social networking sites and your phone/email before you get any more bright ideas. Try to dust yourself off, chalk this down to experience, promise yourself you won't get caught by such a prick again, and spend some time concentrating on the people in your life who mean something to you (YOUR KIDS). Look forward not back.

MissStrawberry Fri 13-Sep-13 20:07:11

Check out the I told her thread. It is her.

Thurlow Fri 13-Sep-13 20:04:18

Strawberry, do you know that? confused

MissStrawberry Fri 13-Sep-13 19:55:37


NandH Fri 13-Sep-13 08:21:03

Tell the wife. ONLY because SHE deserves to know what a cock she's married to. Personally I don't think you deserve any closure.

internationallove985 Fri 13-Sep-13 00:25:10

Sorry bit should say but. xx

internationallove985 Fri 13-Sep-13 00:24:30

Hi Karma. I hope you're okay, bit telling this wife I guarantee will not make it any better for you. Let's not forget his wife is as innocent as you are, she's done nothing wrong. xxx

Monty27 Fri 13-Sep-13 00:07:42

I know how you feel Karma but, revenge is not always sweet, and that's what it would be, revenge. Be honest.

You've had the flip, the JD, the hangover and all that goes with that. Stop now.

Enter dignity. Hold your head high, you did wrong, don't do anything else that's wrong. The 'new' other woman might do your work for you. Yes, I feel sorry for the wife, but where is it going to get anyone? You're not the first, the second probably isn't the second, let him carry on. Silence speaks volumes.

The more dignity you can muster at this point is better for you, and will make him feel even worse. He must be after all, bricking it. Let him. Don't listen to any of his nice words. Ignore him. Completely.

Lucky escape for you, and it's early days, it will take time. But don't go in the gutter where he is.


dandydorset Thu 12-Sep-13 23:12:43

i would tell the wife

nothing worse than finding out way down the line

yes op may do it for bitter reasons,but if i was the wife id rather know than not and i speak from experience

TSSDNCOP Thu 12-Sep-13 22:55:41

Yes she should know. Of course she bloody should.

But not because a woman who is bitter because her married lover left her decides that's the best way to make herself feel better, and possibly cause enough catastrophic fallout that the cheating, lying cunt falls back into her bed decides its the right thing to do.

Possibly the one person who is the innocent victim here should be accorded some fucking respect.

loopylou6 Thu 12-Sep-13 22:42:13

I feel so sorry, for some poor woman out there, who has no idea she's married to a cheating scum bag

loopylou6 Thu 12-Sep-13 22:40:40

Does no body think that his poor wife NEEDS to know? needs to know, for herself, nothing to do with op.

TSSDNCOP Thu 12-Sep-13 20:34:36

Please don't tell his wife because he's left you for someone else.

That would be so cruel.

MissStrawberry Thu 12-Sep-13 20:21:45

So really you just want to tell the wife as you are pissed off he has chosen her and it is the only way you can get your revenge on him.

What a really horrible thing to do.

And don't try and say you are doing her a favour. You are doing it because you are annoyed.

Floggingmolly Thu 12-Sep-13 18:30:10

Yet you'd be with him now without a second thought if he hadn't dumped you! Leave her be.

Floggingmolly Thu 12-Sep-13 18:28:04

She is not being any more hurt by him being with the other woman than when he was with you hmm.

Mama1980 Thu 12-Sep-13 18:16:16

I'm pleased you've got someone to talk to karma but please just stop. Stop engaging, stop giving any of this head space, cut all contact and move on. Forget about him, his wife, his mistress......and if you cant then distract yourself, read, take your children for a walk, go for a drive, fake indifference until you feel it.
This isn't healthy.

Waferthinmint Thu 12-Sep-13 18:08:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick Thu 12-Sep-13 17:59:52


gamerchick Thu 12-Sep-13 17:59:08

But you're not doing it for her.. you're doing it for selfish reasons. You didn't give her much thought when you were snagging her husband.. don't kid yourself you're doing her a favour.

Go ahead if you do so wish but be prepared for backlash and at the most a good thumping.. If you don't mind grief at the door in front of the kids then you crack on.

karmasgotme Thu 12-Sep-13 17:47:20

Ive confided everything to a friend this afternoon.

I feel better for spilling to her but she thinks I should tell too.

I dont feel satisfaction doing it, I just feel my pain and whilst I dont want her to hurt, she is being hurt now and has no idea. If she chooses to stay with him, thats up to her.

This is my doing and I am willing to get slaughtered for it, I dont even care any more.

MissStrawberry Thu 12-Sep-13 17:28:43

She is not your responsibility and I feel you only want to tell her for revenge. Don't do it. It is not the right thing to do.

Stop focussing on him. If it is over it is over and no need to give him anymore headspace. Use the time for your children.

Mama1980 Thu 12-Sep-13 16:59:53

Karma, you don't have nothing you have EVERYTHING 3 children who love you. And he......well he isn't even worth thinking about. You need to stop, you need to delete numbers the lot, he's not worth it. Of course you feel you can't, it hurts, and yes it does but somethings do hurt and you just have to do them anyway.
You made a mistake, we all do we're human.
What do you enjoy doing? Cinema? Good food? Dancing? Try giving yourself something tiny to focus on, something that will make you smile every week. Baby steps.
I think you should speak to your gp as well, properly and honestly.
Please take good care of yourself x

Chyochan Thu 12-Sep-13 16:53:03

And I think it will cause him pain, maybe not in the way you or I understand it, but it will hurt him. It will do nothing at all for you though OP.

Chyochan Thu 12-Sep-13 16:50:15

Though tbf you could argue not telling her is hurting her as well.

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