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why do I feel like this?

(2 Posts)
TeaCuresEverything Mon 02-Sep-13 21:48:37

I have tried to n/c but can't work out how to do it on my phone.

I don't even know what I hope to achieve by posting this. I think I just need to write it down.

I've been with my dh for 8 years, married 6, and we have a ds who is nearly 3.

for a long time now, I've struggled to find dh attractive. I love him very much, he's a good person and a good father, but I don't always feel physically attracted to him anymore.

occasionally I do, and when we dtd I always enjoy it and think that we should do it more often, then before I know it it's been a month and nothing.

life just seems such a drudge. we both work ft and I definitely do a lot more housework than dh does. That, in addition to caring for our ds, means that I never feel carefree or sexy. it's hard to want to have sex when you are bickering about who is going to do the washing up.

Then there is this man at my work, let's call him Don. Don is not my usual 'type' plus he is happily married with 3 young dc. I would never even think of going there. but I think about him a lot. I dress up in the morning for work because I know that he'll be there. I am so stupid.

so yes. . . my marriage is all but sexless and I spend a lot of my time fantasizing about my ridiculously happy dad of 3 colleague. please talk some sense into me. I don't know how it got like this sad

WafflyVersatile Mon 02-Sep-13 22:00:58

Can you spend a bit of time transferring your thoughts about Don onto your husband? Put the same effort you put into that for your husband?

Don is probably at home right now bickering about washing up.

Is there a physical aspect of your husband you think is attractive? Hands for instance. Can you work a fantasy around that?

Do you get time to yourselves as a couple?

And lastly can you talk to your husband about where you both are in your relationship?

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