I don't know what to do, my husband said there was an emergency at work Friday night and would be late home but didn't know when he would finish. Thought nothing of it, but the following morning I looked at his messages and there was lots about meeting up with some guy( I wasn't looking as I was suspicious I'm just a bit of a nosy Parker ) didn't get to see the rest of the messages just the meeting bit as he came back in and I couldn't believe what I'd read. Yesterday I just denied it to myself and carried on as normal,I checked his phone this morning and the messages have been deleted but the history is there I googled the name and town and it gay hook up sight today I have been a bit teary and he hasn't asked why but managed to pull it together to go to his mums for dinner.
We came sat on the sofa in silence and then I came to bed. I text him half an hour ago saying I know he lied and can he sleep on sofa I know how cowardly that is but I can't bear it..but no response.
We have 2 children aged 1&4. I can't through him out as he needs to look after them tomorrow while I'm at work.
You won't sleep tonight without confronting him tho will you. I don't think he can explain this away and his silence alone speaks volumes. Go down stairs and ask him for the truth-he has one chance to tell you everything (don't admit how much/little you know).
So sorry you are going through this. You do need to talk to him or it will just eat you up. I would imagine he will lie through his teeth so you need to think about what happens next but if he is hooking up with other men then you can't carry on living a lie. He could also be putting your health at risk.
I heard him putting the dog to bed so I thought that's it he doesn't have the guts to talk to me, but then he appeared upstairs..... Hadn't seen the text. So I guess that was better, he stood there for a bit.....
Apparently it's my fault, as we hardly ever have sex ...... This is probably true but he works shifts so we hardly ever go to bed at the same time. He said it was the first time etc
He had deleted all his texts (but he has always done this) but you could see in his phone history that the messages had been sent, there was a few more dodgy contacts when I asked about them he said he hadn't text them but you could see 18 messages had been sent. But he is adamant that this is the first time he met anyone.
He said he not gay it was just easier to meet a bloke for that kind of thing...he says they didn't have sex the other guy gave him a blowjob that's all....
I don't know what to do, he's got the kids mon &tues while I'm at work so I'm a bit stuck
I really feel for you. This must be an incredible shock. Thinking about it now, did you have an inkling prior to discovery or did anything happen before that makes you think he could have done this before?
Obviously you will have to see how you feel this morning but I am wondering whether you can get some rl support today and perhaps get some time to take this in rather than going to work.
I think your partner's reaction was extremely out of order tbh. He has pushed the blame onto you and brushed the issue aside. That is appalling imo.
It wasn't the first time you can be sure of that. As per the script-it was your fault, you made him do it--classic He is a liar and a cheat Most likely he is bisexual. You need an STI check He needs a dose of reality. Can you take a few days off work, go to GP and get your DH out the house. Your DH needs to give you the truth, not some convoluted version of events and then you need time and space to see if you can get over this. Please get some RL support Your DH is not the man you think he is if he ever was. Perhaps try to get an appointment for some legal advice--it's never to soon to get your ducks lined up in a row. Knowledge in this case is power