Dd is 21. Lives at home. Older ds24 moved out 5 years ago when he went to uni. Other dc are dd11, ds8&ds5. Im 19 weeks pregnant. Dd21 reacted really badly to news of the new baby. She hasn't spoken to me or Dp in 3 weeks. Ignores us & barely answers when we speak to her. She sent me a really nasty & insulting text the day i announced the pregnancy.
Now there's part of me who totally understands her point of view. I understand she feels Im too old to be having more dc. I've got plenty, why have more!
But, she's gone out of her way to tell a family member Im pregnant. I have gone NC with this person. Dd knows how deeply hurt & offended i was by something this family member did about 6 months ago.
Im really angry at dd. This probably isn't fair of me but its how i feel. I've carried a secret for dd for about 3years,a secret she's kept from all the rest of her family. I would never ever betray dd. I had a mc 2 days before her 21st. We didn't alter any plans due to the mc. Everything went as dd wanted. She never even asked if i was ok. She doesn't pay rent. She doesn't do any housework. She never helps with the younger dc.
I've done a mightly shit job with her. Shes very successful but one spoilt princess.
I want her out of the house if Im honest but i won't do that as Im her parent, the so called responsible one... How do i move on from this? am i the one who's actually out of order by having another baby?
Dd has betrayed my trust by telling this person & well she knows it but i need to get over it, how do i do that? should i forgive her?
Any advice appreciated as my mind is really confused!!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
If Im being unreasonable with my grown up daughter, i need you lot to tell me. I feel so confused!
Shellywelly1973 · 01/09/2013 16:27
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