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Too good to leave, too bad to stay, support group. Anyone?

(181 Posts)
Salbertina Mon 26-Aug-13 19:00:59

Not necessarily looking for advice, just a little handholding from any others in a similar situation.
Not even read said book but the gist of it sums up where i am right now! Anyone??

fromparistoberlin Wed 18-Sep-13 08:20:41

I think for everyone, at some stage there is a tipping point

where we say fuck this, I cant go on

kingrollo has reached it!

many of us have not yet. I was chatting with a friend about our last mega row last night, and it was not comfortable to hear what I was saying

aiaiaiaiaia!!!! noone said it was easy this life business

Salbertina Wed 18-Sep-13 08:56:56


Misguided- thank you for your wise words of experience. There's hope then!

IntheCorner Thu 19-Sep-13 08:01:17

Paristoberlin - interesting what you say about trying to stop hating him. I hiss "bastard" when I see a reminder of his damaging behaviour, think "f* off" at some of the things he says. But then I get a reminder of something good we have done, and feel upset that I am thinking of ending it...

Someone else asked whether things were really good in the beginning. I've been thinking about this, too; things were good, but with hindsight, and observing other people's relationships, probably not as good as they should have been. But I made my bed...

And although this thread is helpful, reading it also somehow reinforces the fact that I am not happy. Sorry if that upsets anyone.

For the next couple of days I have to try to like him as we have something important to do at the weekend.

Good luck to everyone.

Salbertina Thu 19-Sep-13 08:16:40

Corner and Paris- thanks for making me feel less of an evil witch! I mutter dark, sweary thoughts about dh too! In the moment this makes me feel better, but somehow once those toxic thoughts are out there, it often feels OTT and awful.

Notmyidea Thu 19-Sep-13 12:44:06

Ah! The muttering under one's breath. I do it and so does dh, and it really, really hurts. I just have to say his name and it's "WHADDA YOU WANT? miserable bitch" under his breath. And I know I'm as bad. I can be feeling neutral, or even quite fond of him and then bam, I feel hurt and unfairly treated, insecure....
I think the difference is that if I challenge him about it he denies it and insists I'm hearing things. If he challenges me while I'm pissed off it starts a row.

IntheCorner Sat 28-Sep-13 16:06:01

Hello, just wondering how everyone is? We had our good weekend last week, but evenings since have been more bad than good...

I'm trying to stand up for myself when he's being an arse, but the result is just that we row. Having to take life one day at a time at the moment. Have the house to myself for a short time so taking the opportunity to have a quick look at MN.

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