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Update on husband engaging in online grooming

(113 Posts)
StillWaitingForMotherhood Mon 26-Aug-13 12:16:51

Hello everyone.

He has been arrested, he has been in a police cell since yesterday and the police have both his computers, his phone, camera, iPad, everything.

I am truly ashamed of myself and those of you who are furious with me and sickened by my original post are absolutely justified. Having read it back this morning I am genuinely appalled at myself.

I would just like to ask that you please try and understand that I was in utter, utter shock when I wrote it. You always imagine that you know how you would behave in a given situation, but when overnight your world changes and everything you thought you knew comes crashing down around your ears, I guess it makes you do and think strange things.

I would also like to clarify that when I referred to pubescent girls and their curves, I was attempting to articulate (very badly) that these were pictures that the girls were posting of themselves, not pictures that others had made them pose for. The way I phrased this was absolutely inappropriate and offensive and I am very, very sorry for this. All of the girls in the pictures, pubescent or pre-pubescent regardless, are CHILDREN, I would never look at it any other way and it is sickening.

I am not a troll, I am a real person who this time two days ago had a (as far as I was concerned) troubled but basically normal marriage with a troubled but basically normal man.

Anyway I have read every single one of your posts this morning and felt you deserved an update and some reassurance that this man is no longer free to talk to children.

Thank you.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 26-Aug-13 12:18:48

StillWaiting I feel so desperately sorry for you. Do you have a good friend who can come and be with you today?

gaggiagirl Mon 26-Aug-13 12:20:46

Bloody well done OP!
I can't imagine the hurt you are going through but please be assured we are all here to support you in anyway we can.
You have done a good thing although you may not feel so heroic now,but truly well done.

GetStuffezd Mon 26-Aug-13 12:22:46

I think it's really brave of you to update, OP. Very few people will have been through what you have. You need the real-life support of a trusted friend.

glastocat Mon 26-Aug-13 12:22:52

Well done, you did the right thing, it must be a nightmare for you.

tribpot Mon 26-Aug-13 12:23:06

Please do get some support. This is a horrendous situation for you to find yourself in.

mammadiggingdeep Mon 26-Aug-13 12:23:13

Big hugs.....please look after yourself today. I read your really wasn't an easy situation you found yourself in. You have done the right thing.

YouAreMyRain Mon 26-Aug-13 12:23:17

Well done you. You have been very brave and amazing. thanksthanksthanksthanksthanks

BrianTheMole Mon 26-Aug-13 12:25:20

Well done op. Have you got anyone you can be with today?

YvyB Mon 26-Aug-13 12:27:00

Oh sweet, no-one was out to attack you as a human being. The very fact you were in shock is because you are decent and were understandably bewildered. Thank god you had the courage to post yesterday. The reason you got such a strong reaction was because its so much easier to be objective from the outside. Which was exactly why you posted in the first place...

You have been so incredibly brave. This whole situation is no reflection on you. Please don't be ashamed. As soon as you realised, you acted, even though you knew doing so would be painful and stressful.

Well done.

SouthernComforts Mon 26-Aug-13 12:27:15

Well done OP, very brave post. You did the right thing.

Weegiemum Mon 26-Aug-13 12:28:24

You are so brave. Please be gentle with yourself. (wee hug)

onefewernow Mon 26-Aug-13 12:31:21

You have handled it brilliantly actually.

waltermittymissus Mon 26-Aug-13 12:32:25

I didn't read your thread but well done for posting.

I'm not sure what you said when you were in shock but I'm sure an abnormal reaction is to be expected.

Did you discover and report or did you only find out when the police arrived?

You poor, poor thing. Is somebody with you?

NicholasTeakozy Mon 26-Aug-13 12:34:21

Well done StillWaiting, it was the right thing to do. thanks

MikeTheShite Mon 26-Aug-13 12:34:34

Well done op thanks
Be very proud of yourself

BoozyBear Mon 26-Aug-13 12:37:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentialOldDear Mon 26-Aug-13 12:38:30


Lweji Mon 26-Aug-13 12:39:49

Well done.

Who knows how would any of us react in the same position.

(I only saw the thread when it was already very long and didn't feel the need to add to the advice given)

KatieScarlett2833 Mon 26-Aug-13 12:42:44

Well done. You did a brave thing despite horrific cost to yourself. I have the greatest of respect for you.

LoopyLoopyLoopy Mon 26-Aug-13 12:43:38

Well done. I hope you are OK. Have you a friend or family member you can talk to?

smile One day at a time. smile

ageofgrandillusion Mon 26-Aug-13 12:43:49

Well done OP, you sound brave.
And pity those who jump to conclusions re trolling based on flimsy evidence. There is a report button if people have suspicions - its not rocket science.

MusicForTheMasses Mon 26-Aug-13 12:44:09

I can understand the shock aspect of it. Take care OP.

AnotherStitchInTime Mon 26-Aug-13 12:44:17

StillWaiting well done on going to the Police.

Please get yourself some real life support. If you don't feel able to talk to friends and family then get some counselling for yourself. Relate do individual counselling.


Rooners Mon 26-Aug-13 12:45:22

Hi OP,

I didn't actually read the thread yesterday - only the opening post.

I was one of the people who reported it, but not because it was offensive in itself (well I didn't think so particularly) but because it could easily have been someone pretending, iyswim - someone trolling to get their own kicks.

That was all. The way you wrote it didn't make me think that, it is just such a sensitive subject that I wanted to make sure MNHQ checked it out as to make sure it wasn't a known troll or something.

Hope that makes sense. SO MUCH kudos for doing what you have done and I am so sorry that your world has shifted like this.

We are all grateful to you first for updating, but secondly and more importantly for reporting him to the police.


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