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Please describe your decent, 'normal' relationship with DH/DP - what's it like?

(52 Posts)
Clipbo4rd Fri 23-Aug-13 23:58:44

I've only posted once, and my situation and all the answers I got really enlightened me to the fact that my own relationship is terrible.

However, I have no real idea what a good, decent and 'normal' one is like as DH was my first serious boyfriend, my parents had a rubbish marriage, just staying together out of habit.

So please can people try and explain what their relationship is like, how does your DH/DP treat you, how do you spend your time together, how do you talk to each other, show your appreciation etc etc.

Bit strange I know, but I'd really, really appreciate an insight in to how my own marriage should be.

Thanks :-)

AnnieLobeseder Sat 24-Aug-13 22:50:14

DH and I have been together 15 years, and I love our relationship. No, it's not perfect, it takes some work and tilts slightly off-track sometimes. But when it does, we talk, we listen, we fix it, and we're stronger as a result.

Here are the main things that define our relationship for me:

We are absolutely a partnership. We share all responsibilities; financial, childcare, domestic. We back each other up with regards disciplining the DC, even if we don't agree - that is something to discuss later in private.

Both of us pick up the slack for each other if one of us is having to deal with extra pressure at work. Likewise, we both agree that we can use the other to blame as an excuse to get out of doing things we don't want to, ie "sorry boss, I can't house-sit your chickens this weekend, the wife needs me to file down her sister's hamster's toenails".

Most importantly, I can be utterly relaxed and absolutely myself around my DH. His company is my sanctuary, he is my rock and my comfort. If I need to talk, he listens. If I need to be alone, he understands and doesn't take it personally. If I had to change any part of who I am to be with him, then he wouldn't be the one for me. Of course there are things about me that he doesn't 100% like, and vice versa. But neither of us would dream to trying to change those few tiny things, because a) they're such small things in the overall awesome package and b) any changes would mean that person wouldn't be the person we love any more.

So it boils down to this. We love each other exactly for who we are. Not only under certain circumstances, in certain moods, only when sober or when work isn't stressful. Always and absolutely.

I trust him with my life, my soul, my children and my future. As he does me.

sparklekitty Sun 25-Aug-13 08:40:12

We speak to each other pleasantly, try very hard not to be snappy (which is hard with a non sleeping baby) but call each other on it and apologise if we do.

We're lucky that we enjoy the same TV, films etc so not much compromise needed. However, I'll often suggest he watches his gardeners world while I faff etc. He appreciates it rather than just thinking it's his right.

I guess we try to put each other first but don't always accept the offer iyswim.

My DH works long shifts in a hard job so when we do have time together we try to spend it doing something we both enjoy, more baby centred now our DD is here smile We always split the housework etc half half while to other looks after the baby. He never expects housework etc to be done while he's working as he seeings looking after my DD as my 'job' while he's working. The housework gets done when he's off.

It's hard to put into words. I've been in a few abusive relationships in my past, its just different, more thoughtful, treat each other like we care I guess.

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