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Trying 'The Rules' with OD. Anyone else attempted this?

(56 Posts)
akaWisey Thu 22-Aug-13 16:37:16

That's what I've decided to do. Joined POF last week, bought the Rules of Internet Dating and hoping for something better than I've had thus far….

Not sure how well this method translates however…….the last thing I want is marriage and the principle's all seem geared up to 'snare' a bloke into proposing.

Having said that, I can see all the mistakes I've made in the past with online dating blush and I've been able to rectify them.

Anyone else tried to do it differently and not felt you've sacrificed your own principles?

akaWisey Sun 01-Sep-13 07:35:15

The Rules say categorically NEVER initiate online contact with men - never, don't even answer their ads, don't send cute 'smiley' messages after the first, second or even third date. Wait 24 hours after they message you before replying and keep it short.

So I've been applying the Rules since my first post. Whatever your opinion of this way of managing dating behaviour tbh I feel totally in control, I'm not anxious and over analysing every message, wondering if someone is going to ask me out or not…….because the Rules address all those frustrating and time wasting activities.

I'm online about 10 minutes to pick up messages and to view profiles of men who've messaged me. That's it. Somehow this change in my OD behaviour seems to be attracting MORE not less attention.

akaWisey Sun 01-Sep-13 07:46:53

Sorry just to clarify - if you view a profile you like the look of he'll see that you have. If he likes the look of you too he'll message you. That way you know there's at least a spark of interest there.

Mr C yes, nothing wrong in commenting on a chap's profile - but experience of OD thus far has been , without exception, that when I've made that first move this has happened:

1. No response
2. A polite thank you but nothing further
3. Blocked!
4. Sexual innuendo/request to go offline
5. Other such disappointing results

So that doesn't work for me. It might work for other women, and great if it does. smile

Writerwannabe83 Sun 01-Sep-13 10:25:14

I met my husband via online dating!

His profile had really made me laugh and after 3 day of messaging each other we decided to meet up for a date. We were living together 4 months after that and then married just over 2 years later. We are now expecting our first baby smile

For what it is worth, I messaged him first!! grin

akaWisey Sun 01-Sep-13 12:42:09

Writer that's great news!!

Having said that I've done the whole marriage and kids thing - I think it makes a difference when, as I mentioned upthread, women like me didn't do OD when we were looking to settle down because it just didn't exist!

So it's about learning a whole new way of meeting people and not being 'available' all the time through social networking sites.

BTW I've another date today - picnic in a lovely park all arranged by chap himself. Did it the rules way and I'm not complaining about the result even if he's not my cup of tea (or vice versa) because I'm not having to do any work at all!!! grin

Writerwannabe83 Sun 01-Sep-13 12:55:42

A picnic in the park eh? Sounds lovely smile

Even when I met my husband via OLD it was still quite taboo, only a handful of people knew that's how I'd met him. That was until my dad announced it to everyone in his speech at the wedding though thanks dad hmm

I think it is a little it more accepted now and apparently 1 out of every 3 couples meet online. I chose to do it because I worked in an all female profession, working rotten shifts and most of my friends were already settled - so it wasn't like I had anyone to go man hunting with on a Friday or Saturday night smile

It works really well, I guess it's just a case of finding the right guy!

I hope you have a lovely time wisey smile

blueshoes Mon 02-Sep-13 09:25:50

wisey, picnic in the park sounds lovely. Has having spent more time with him changed your opinion of him? FWIW if he continues to ask you out Rules-way, I think you should continue to see him and keep an open mind.

In later life, I am pretty jaded and don’t get that flippy stomach feeling at first sight anymore. But that is not to say a bloke cannot grow on you. For some of my later relationships, I ended up with them because they were persistent and I did fall in love subsequently. The good thing about a Rules relationship is you don’t inadvertently end up with a passive man who expects you to make all the moves going forward. At least you know if he is actively pursuing you at the start, that spark of energy is there, even if it fades somewhat later on, lol.

Thanks for explaining about Rules in the OLD era. It is so strict, but it makes sense. So long as you leave a small clue, like the fact you looked at his profile, I guess that should be enough for him to go on if he likes your profile. Agree with the fact that the Rules allow you to continue to lead your life without obsessing about when/where/why men are responding to your messages. It keeps the emotional investment low at the start, which is particularly important for OLD.

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