First of all, I know how ridiculous this is going to sound. (It's also similar to a recent thread on here, which was very helpful to read.)
At 44, I have developed a huge crush on someone who works at a place that my son and myself attend every week. I think that the feeling was pretty much mutual- meaningful eye contact, chats etc.
I hardly know him- almost certainly married & children. But I got totally carried away with him in my head. It was just nice that someone looked at me like a woman and not just X's mother. I don't think I imagined it- deeply sexual eye contact, makes an effort every week to talk to me etc. And the conversations were longer and longer- he was digging a bit for details about me etc. Of course, this then developed in my head into a whole full-blown thing.
I hardly know him but much to my mortification I sent an FB message this week (very innocent, ostensibly- he did something nice for my son.) (But of course you don't need to be a genius to see the intent behind the message.)
I am praying it went into the 'Other' folder because essentially it means: I found out who you are, I like you.
Honestly, I know I'm over-reacting a bit but I feel mortified. I don't even know why I did I- I can't handle a FB message, never mind an affair.
No reply, of course (thankfully).
I just want to not feel like this. I know I need to work on my current (long-standing) relationship (sex life not good; my SO appears to not have any emotions :( ). I don't know what I'm asking, really- how to get over this, I guess?
Obviously I won't be attending this place again (for a long, long time) and so the chances of me running into him are nil.
I feel dreadful- stupid, embarrassed, idiotic. But i did/do like him. Ugh. Any tips/hints on how to deal with this would be helpful. (I do have a history of silly little crushes in the last two years or so; I think I am just coming out of a post-natal haze and realising there is a woman here, not just a mother.)
Sorry to ramble. I can't blame him, really. Yes, he encouraged me a bit but I'm sure it was all harmless to him and he didn't give it a thought.
I want to:
i. Not feel like this about him;
ii. Stop acting like an idiot; and
iii. Not do this again.
Thanks if you got this far.
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Relationships
Ridiculous middle-aged crush- need to get over it.
MiddleAgedCrush · 22/08/2013 05:37
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