Hi. I am new on here, and I have wanted to post for such a long time, but the reason I haven't is because I am scared of what advice I might get. I have been married for 12 years. I have 2 children. Sex was never a major thing for us, then we had kids, and since number 2 arrived we hardly ever have sex. She is 2 now. At first I didn't want to have sex after having her, I felt disgusting, I was shattered all the time as she didn't sleep well, I didn't feel attractive and was never in the mood, and it was very forced. Dh agreed to having a vasectomy as there was no way I wanted to get pregnant again. at first he didn't want to have one, then he suddenly decided he would and organised it. Since then we have had even less sex, and we can go a couple of months without it. I have to ask him all the time if he fancies it, but he always says he is too tired. For the last 2 years I have felt like he doesn't see me either. I have questioned him about it. I have told him he isn't affectionate with me anymore, he only tells me he loves me when he leaves for work, and its more an automatic thing, than something he means. I have told him I am upset he doesn't seem to want to have sex. He just says he is tired, he can travel 100 miles a day with his job and he is also away a lot, maybe once or twice every week. I often wonder if he has met someone else or if he is having an affair, which he has denied, and got angry at the fact I had even suggested he would. Even though I have spoken to him about it, I just don't feel any better. Can it be true, is he really tired? He is 42, and I am 40, so no spring chickens, but surely young enough to have regular sex. By the way, I don't need a lot of sex, I think it is bothering me more that he doesn't want to. I have said to him that all men want sex, but he says that is a myth and his mates don't have sex as often as they used to. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? It is on my mind all the time. Thanks x
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