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4 people, a day out - your dp and 3 women - is that odd?

(72 Posts)
Balancinglife Tue 20-Aug-13 19:28:34

I don't quite know what to make of this.

My dp told me he had been invited to an outdoor activity.
Fine. Though he didn't say much about it and usually he wants to show me photos and tell me all about it which he didn't this time.. He left before 8am, I checked and it was an hour away. Text me 12noon to say he had finished his activity and got home at 4pm, saying he had lunch.

It was only after he posted photos online that I realised he was the only male along with 3 women (not work colleagues)

And I'm not altogether happy as we have boundaries in place, supposed to be open and all that after a past infidelity on his part.

AcidNails Wed 21-Aug-13 20:22:53

Also - zorbing is mega fun!

AcidNails Wed 21-Aug-13 20:20:07

Well, I don't see anything inherently wrong with 1 man socialising with a group of women or vice versa. I often will be the only woman in a group of men, and have honestly never considered whether they're married or that I am etc. We all just go out and have a giggle.

However, it isn't something I hide. Whilst my DH has never met these guys (mostly colleagues), there isn't anything shifty about it. The fact that your DH has been a bit cagey is a bit weird I think. Unless perhaps he feels a bit nervous of bringing it up after his past??

Floggingmolly Wed 21-Aug-13 20:16:38

£90 shock. Waste of money under any circumstances, but if you're struggling at the moment it's an extra layer of pisstaking.
Are there really huge clubs for people who like being fleeced rolling down hills?

Balancinglife Wed 21-Aug-13 20:10:12

Ageof and Katie- I had a good laugh at some of your comments, cheered me up :-D

Looksgood- Yes he needs to work on his self centred, selfish nature! You are spot on!

AF, MyPretty and Looksgood - I really hope its all a misunderstanding on my part. Unfortunately my guard is up now. Time will tell.

Btw. I was looking at prices too, some places are £90 for 2 rolls down the hill ffs!!

maddy68 Wed 21-Aug-13 20:08:30

I am out on Friday for lunch with two men thinking about it I don't think I've yet mentioned it to my oh. Nothing untoward they are my mates!

Have you asked him about it?

MyPrettyToes Wed 21-Aug-13 18:40:39

After reading all your posts OP, I think he is up to no good. The vagueness considering his history is very suspicious.

Worst case scenario is that he and the woman are having an inappropriate relationship and the friends were invited as a cover in case you became suspicious.

I hope I am wrong OP.

Looksgoodingravy Wed 21-Aug-13 17:59:49

He also needs to be reminded of the character traits of the person he was when he cheated (I imagine) - selfish, self centred etc...sounds like he hasn't really worked on those negative aspects whatsoever!

KatieScarlett2833 Wed 21-Aug-13 17:56:29

He didn't ask you shock
I'd kill DH with a shovel for that alone, mind you I quite fancy rolling down a hill in a ball. Anyhoo,
If he hasn't had form I'd raise an eyebrow, however given his history I'd be very suspicious indeed.

ageofgrandillusion Wed 21-Aug-13 17:50:41

I dont care if he's up to monkey busness, i'd LTB for indulging in such a thoroughly pointless activity. Silly sod.

Looksgoodingravy Wed 21-Aug-13 17:48:57

Can you become a member of this club?

Doha Wed 21-Aug-13 17:19:17

Agree with AF--again wink

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

AnyFucker Wed 21-Aug-13 16:08:36

The more you say, the shiftier he looks

There is more to this, love

Floggingmolly Wed 21-Aug-13 15:19:45

God, he sussed out your plans for the weekend to make sure you'd be occupied elsewhere before breaking the news of his plans?!
That doesn't sound good.

JustinBsMum Wed 21-Aug-13 14:04:07

Well, you will be on your guard now for requests to know your weekend plans etc. Sounds a wee bit suspect. I would ask for a get together with his new friends which is not unreasonable. You will know by the behaviour if it is innocent or not.

Balancinglife Wed 21-Aug-13 14:00:03

He's not in Spice.

It was at the weekend, he was curious earlier in the week to know 'my' weekend plans. I suspect he knew then but he didn't mention until the morning before.

I'm wondering if the woman who asked him is the one he mentioned had recently had a difgicult break up from her partner.

flipchart Wed 21-Aug-13 13:55:14

Has he joined Spice?
It's not a dodgy set up although it does have a name that sounds like it could be up to no good!!
It's an outdoor adventure club that go off doing things such as zorbing and the like.

TippiShagpile Wed 21-Aug-13 13:54:29

Was it at a weekend or did he take a day off work to go rolling down the hill?

TippiShagpile Wed 21-Aug-13 13:53:10

I wouldn't invite another woman's husband to roll down a hill with me or go out for a long lunch. Just seems inappropriate.

Fairenuff Wed 21-Aug-13 13:46:11

He was invited by one woman. He accepted. He should not have done that without checking with you first, because of his previous infidelity and your agreement that he doesn't do that.

She may have asked her friends as she thought it would look suspicious if it were just the two of them, or he may have suggested asking them so that he can cleverly sidestep his promise for no more 121 meetings with women.

Ask him if the four of them were together the whole time, or did the two friends leave early.

SirRaymondClench Wed 21-Aug-13 13:41:17

It's his quietness which would concern me.
I think the red herring is that there were 3 women.
He might be very interested in one of them.

Balancinglife Wed 21-Aug-13 13:37:41

Fairenuff - x posted. I was typing in exactly your points.

Balancinglife Wed 21-Aug-13 13:35:14

Thank you all for your input.

It seems he was asked by someone who is a member of a club he goes to, the other 2 women were her friends. Lunch took place at some point.

8 hours away, activities 2 hours max, 2 hours travel, so lunch obviously took 4 hours.

I'm not interested in rolling down a hill in a plastic ball especially when we had a huge car repair bill this month which was not much off 1k :-( I could add another 1k including the roof repair, of which he has no money to pay towards.

And I wasn't asked because He didn't think it was my type of thing....

Big sigh

Fairenuff Wed 21-Aug-13 13:22:59

He left before 8 and was home by 4 (8 hours)
The activity was an hour away so 2 hours travelling (leaves 6 hours)
The activity itself lasted an hour (leaving 5 hours)
Lunch could take two hours.

That still leaves 3 hours unaccounted for.

Why don't you ask him:

What time did the activity start
What time did it end
What did he do for the other three hours

And why is he spending money you can't afford?

Looksgoodingravy Wed 21-Aug-13 12:09:14

Ds (aged 6) has had a go at Zorbing many times.

The child in me would like to try it!

Dp wouldn't dream of doing this. If he wanted to go out with mutual friends fine, he now knows however that to do as your dh did with friends outside of the relationship (in particular those on social networking sites (fb)) is a big no no! Not unless I was included.

I think he's been completely disrespectful to your feelings!

Floggingmolly Wed 21-Aug-13 11:56:17

Social network friends hmm. So he met them on Facebook? Do they even know about you? Because if they do, it's extremely odd that the invitation wasn't extended to you as well.

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