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Dating thread 62 .. All welcome

(1000 Posts)
Kirstywirsty Tue 20-Aug-13 16:37:56

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop
8. loo update is mandatory

Flipper934 Tue 20-Aug-13 19:33:49

I don't know, Super. I still have my profile up and log on regularly to OKC, even though I'm quite happy with MA right now. And 3DD logs on to OKC a couple of times a week, even though Pretty Blonde is a permanent fixture and has met his kids now.

Flipper934 Tue 20-Aug-13 19:37:57

Kirsty, that's a real toughy. Was he telling you to gauge your reaction?

kittykat10 Tue 20-Aug-13 19:46:42

Am I be I being n
Daft thinkin u have sex so your a couple

Flojobunny Tue 20-Aug-13 19:48:40

So, I messages MrFlash and asked if his DD (12) would be coming to the beach and he replied "no she lives with her mum" so I replied "surely you see her at weekends then" to which he replied "ex had poisoned her against me".
Alarm bells are now ringing. Maybe ex has, but at 12 I'm more likely to think he hasn't been there for DD and she knows it and doesn't want to see him.

JulietteMontague Tue 20-Aug-13 19:49:26

Flo I really wouldn't take DC. It's your time to be you, concentrate on being fabulous and see if you like him - all tricky when you're looking out for DC. It's not the paedo issue I would worry about specifically, it's general security. DC will happily give out your address, all sorts of other details and it would be difficult to up and leave if you weren't happy with anything and DC wanted to stay.

Suggesting this when he has his own DC and should know better does seem to show either desperation of an inability to think it through from your perspective. Is there another day that would make childcare easier?

Flojobunny Tue 20-Aug-13 19:52:27

The plot thickens "you don't know the Asian women. They are not like you"

JulietteMontague Tue 20-Aug-13 19:52:44

Flo crossed post. You now have a massive red flag right there, puts him right in the entitled camp. It may be true that he ex has done that, but why think it's acceptable to put her down to a prospective new woman.

Flojobunny Tue 20-Aug-13 19:53:44

Childcare is easier for me in the week, but he's a doctor and usually oncall.
But I don't think I want to see him now.

Flojobunny Tue 20-Aug-13 19:55:03

I'm biased in that my ex probably says the same, tells his gf that I won't let him see DD when the truth is he's never made the effort to.

Bant Tue 20-Aug-13 19:55:15

Flojo - it doesn't sound like anything other than red flags from flash.. Your call of course but if you want my opinion, I'd say drop like a shitty hot potato.

It's a national holiday in Hungary. There is a big firework festival over the Danube river, visible from the bridge near my flat. I know given the Hungarian national character where the Americans go 'whoop' and the Brits go 'oooh', the locals will look and say 'well that was a bit too bright, and my ears hurt', god love em.

But derby mentioned going. However I want to take photos and send them to mermaid. I guess my decision here is made.

TravelinColour Tue 20-Aug-13 19:56:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flojobunny Tue 20-Aug-13 20:00:17

Sounds like your decision is made bant

JulietteMontague Tue 20-Aug-13 20:01:28

Flo his time is not more important than yours. Surely he is not out on call all day every week day. If you can only make it during the week, so be it.

Having said that, sorry but he sounds like an arse. As for your ex, you have your answer right there. MN wisdom is that just because you've got used the nonsense of a Grade 1 arse, it doesn't mean you have to accept the crap of a Grade 2.

As for the Asian women comment, words fail me. Next?

Flojobunny Tue 20-Aug-13 20:02:42

Travelin, I as good as copied n pasted your msg to him.
Shame, we had so much in common yesterday, what a difference a day makes in the world of Internet dating chat.

Bant Tue 20-Aug-13 20:04:40

I would be tempted to respond with 'apparently you don't know decent men. They are not like you' and block

Flojobunny Tue 20-Aug-13 20:06:41

Curious as to his reply, then I'll do that!

JulietteMontague Tue 20-Aug-13 20:07:58

ok I'm posting this A little something that should get stuck on the fridge door of every woman, man and teen.

TravelinColour Tue 20-Aug-13 20:19:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KinNora Tue 20-Aug-13 20:31:07

Flo -what's that high-pitched 'whoop-whoop-whoop' sound ? Oh that's right, it's the Wanker Alarm - run away, run away !

Dating update - just had a text from Hot Tub (who lives in Suffolk) he's coming up to the Lakes and is 'thinking about dropping into Manchester on the way back' - oooh, I feel a bit nervous all of a sudden.

Also contacted by Northern Irish man on okc, that's me gone then ...

Hamwidgeandcheps Tue 20-Aug-13 20:34:06

Sex ime hasn't always meant bring a couple but I will be asking Mr h and c before we dtd and I'm not dtd if its not exclusive. But I have known him a v long time now and I have some expectations. Maybe I wouldn't so much with a new person. If he says no to couple I will be out the door hmm

superdooperpenguin Tue 20-Aug-13 20:36:01

I'm an idiot! I texted him jovially asking if we're exclusive - he replied but avoided answering. I texted again saying I felt sad he'd avoided question - got a long text back saying we'd been through this and we'd speak when he has the time! Wtf? Why should I feel shit til he has the time to speak to me?!! We've been dating for 3 mths, surely he should be nicer than that?

I'm so upset and cross with myself for getting too emotionally involved! Why can't I find a nice boyfriend?!!

LeftTheBastard Tue 20-Aug-13 20:38:30

Hi everyone, can I join? I found out my XP was having an affair 3 months ago and it really knocked my self confidence so I signed up to POF for a bit of a laugh, not expecting anything but I've actually met someone really nice!

Date 1 was on Friday and it went so well that we had another quick drink today and are going bowling on Friday. He's younger than me but really cute and funny grin

Hamwidgeandcheps Tue 20-Aug-13 20:38:33

Juliette I loved that op but it made difficult reading at the time. I said to Mr hot the other day, you have never shouted at me in all the years I've known you so I doubt it will happen now....he replied that's true, though I have been cross with you on occasion grin

KinNora Tue 20-Aug-13 20:39:03

And Northern Irish man has broken his arm - this is some kind of fucking Nora honey trap plot ...

Flojobunny Tue 20-Aug-13 21:03:28

Aw penguin that doesn't sound good. Retreat and learn from it.

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