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The Pyscopath is starting again?

(147 Posts)
CCTVmum Tue 20-Aug-13 01:19:27

If anyone knows me please dont out me. To frightened to use old MN name.

It has been a wonderful few months or should I say nearly a year of peace. No trouble at all since 2012.

I had made plans with help info from here. My main goal to move to be free from any more threats to my and dc life.

Told by mortgage advisor I do not earn enough. They asked did I get maintanence as this counted as wages!

As I dont I thought I would apply as ex doesnt live in UK. I was 100% sure CSA would just say ex moved abroad and close case. I have not heard back from CSA mind you so this could be the outcome. This was 2 weeks ago.

Anyway my senses have gone in overdrive last few days and cant sleep. I decided to check ex blog and low and behold! The title refers to me. His NN for me since we split. The most freaky thing was ( so not even the demonic voice put on) was a weird american sounding childs voice (possible digital enhanced?) of child referring to ex using the nickname I had for ex when we were together (many many years ago).

ex names a night of an attack, but it refers to via FB?

Now thing is if I go to the police they will lock ME up thinking I am nuts!

Welcome to Gas Lighting Infurno <sigh>

Any tips/slaps/hugs welcome as my PTSD has returned 10 fold! But hoping the hypervigilence will keep me awake\alive

garlicagain Sat 24-Aug-13 17:49:31

Continuing to do so isn't vigilance - No, it's hypervigilance: a PTSD symptom. 'Choosing' not to be hypervigilant is, regrettably, a long & complicated process.

ImperialBlether Sat 24-Aug-13 18:02:38

God, that was scary, Facepalmninja! It showed my IP address, the town I live in and my internet service provider!

ImperialBlether Sat 24-Aug-13 18:04:21

How would anyone find an IP address from an email address?

Facepalmninja Sat 24-Aug-13 18:31:53

Easy imperial....

It's very easy, I do a bit of online sleuthing for those in need/ask, this is one way to identify a location of someone.

ImperialBlether Sat 24-Aug-13 19:00:15

It worked on my address, but my son's came up as in Oklahoma and an American friend's came up as California, though he wasn't from there. Would those be the server IPs that I have? I'll keep trying.

NoToast Sat 24-Aug-13 21:58:25

Am bells!

CCTVmum Sat 24-Aug-13 23:52:26

Good evening from a safe lovely mum'ssmile

My mum and ds now both asleep and I feel so relaxed! It really is lovely!
My mum now realises the extent of how bad it is as I never told her until today how frightened I was and about to go into a refuge tonight or Travelodge or something to get away from the house.

Now away from the house I realise how scared and stressed I really was of tonight. I think I would have just dropped down dead in fear alonesad

I went back to house around 7pmish to get a few things I forgot as not returning until Tuesday.

As ds not with me I took opportunity to call police and just say what the situation is and can they check the house.

The police officer was amazing and really sympathised with me! She kept saying how did you manage to stay their as I couldn't! I replied I had no choice as I had no where to go. I said it was all my fault as I contacted CSA and I think he has had a letter but only 10 days earlier? I was reassured this was not my fault as he should not be behaving this way. So I feel a bit less it is my fault now. I gave his website name DOB so hopefully they can lok at the now deleted song about summoning an evil presence to attack on FB page. I hope they can retrieve it?

So within 10 mins of call as I was driving out of street police was driving into street to check! WOW!

I then had call from Policeman from local station and he is checking my house frequently until his shift finishes at 3am and will ask next duty to check too. He is sending a community officer around to my mum's over weekend at some point to see if their is anything he can do to help WOW! It is being taken serious now <sob>

I want to thank each and every one of you and the checks and offers of RL help that I would not even get off most of my RL family!

I really need to leave fast! I saw a studio flat today, it was so small. I don't know what I am going to do. But I must get out!


CCTVmum Sun 25-Aug-13 00:00:08

No bells NoToastsmile

Ahh a car just came up my mum street (dead end not often) and a bit jittery for a few seconds and when fridge powered up heart skipped a beat just then! So a little bit scared still but so grateful I am not home tonight.

I know a lot of you around for me tonight and I am so grateful flowers

Jux Sun 25-Aug-13 00:06:44

Oh CCTVmum, I'm so glad you are somewhere safe where you can relax and sleeeeeeeeeeep!

Yes, you do need to get out, don't you? Just so you can feel safer and relax more. There must be a way to do it. Can you remortgage so you have some money to do whatever you need to get lodgers and rent a place until you can sell? I don't know the ins and outs of that, and it may not be financially sensible. I'm sure someone can give you the advisability of such a course of action.

Hope you are asleep right now, and you wake refreshed.

Jux Sun 25-Aug-13 00:09:10


Try to get to bed and sleep. Tell yourself that you are quite safe. Keep repeating it, like a mantra.

Have to go to bed myself now, but will be thinking of you.

CCTVmum Sun 25-Aug-13 00:25:39

thanks Jux

I will sleep...still need to wind down after a worryng few days that esculated every day! Today has been the least stressed as I had somewhere to go and not be alone.

Jux I was told I could only remortgage 7K as my score bad...I had been home edding ds for couple years and just returned few months ago. I bought a new car on finance and got a credit card all within weeks of returning so my score is bad! I did not know this would happen as I thought ex stopped this nasty stuff!

Mortgage advisor said 'maint' counts towards wages and I contacted CSA to see if I could get CSA and then more mortgage to move! With value I have in house already I could get a 1 bed studio. Ds has ASD and a studio is not good esp as we live in 3 bed house.

I'm rightly stucksad

NoToast Sun 25-Aug-13 00:41:33

No bells and no whistles, sleep well !

garlicagain Sun 25-Aug-13 01:39:09

I've been thinking of you all evening, too, CCTV. Mostly thinking how pleased I am to know you & DS are all snuggled up safe with your Mum smile Great news that you're staying till Tuesday. You can patch up your sleep and your emotional stability over the next couple of days.

How great that the police have been so understanding and responsive! I know this doesn't remove the sense of threat, but it is very reassuring.

How the heck could it be your fault??? Just because a psychopath says so, doesn't make it true! Duh! grin

I happen to agree, it would make sense in many ways, to remortgage and use the money to rent somewhere. With peace of mind, your brain will start firing on all cylinders again, giving you a better chance of charting the way forward. Perhaps you'll be able to discuss it with your mum over the weekend - and, of course, there's always us.

Happy Sunday! xx

sadwidow28 Sun 25-Aug-13 01:47:35

I am glad to know that you are okay CCTV. I have followed your threads.

I am of a different faith to many on this thread so did my rosary - and got many other friends to do it all day today.

Take care.

Buzzardbird Sun 25-Aug-13 06:23:31

Am glad you are safe Op. If you managed to get a car on finance and a cc your credit rating must be ok and would have improved further by those surely? My ds owns a finance company and advised me (a long time ago admittedly) that to create my score I had to get cc's etc as I had no debt to give me a score. Maybe you need to seek financial advice along these lines?
oh, and the ex must be a really weak man to pull the big guns out like Satanism for a feeling of empowerment? I met a 'high priest' once...he was a postman dressed in shorts Ffs! Never been afraid if satanic crap since that moment grin
Hope you have a lovely chilled out Sunday thanks

sashh Sun 25-Aug-13 07:15:46

Glad all is OK

Dobbiesmum Sun 25-Aug-13 08:39:25

Read both threads and although I can't help you anymore on the practical side I can help you with the spiritual a little. I'm Pagan and can tell you that he's full of horseshit if he's connecting Wicca, Crowley and Satanism, the 3 don't match.
Wicca is a non violent set of beliefs with the law 'do as thou will as it harms non'. Crowley was an itelligent but drug addled big head IMO with a strange hold over people and true Satanism is more of an atheist movement who's followers believe in furthering their own lives in a type of 'do as thou will' without the last caveat rather than following a horn headed evil being. In fact most Pagans don't even believe in the Devil as it's generally accepted to be a Judeo-Christian invention using the generic horned man symbol to define evil (believe me I can go on for DAYS about this!).
SO essentially he's talking out of his arse in an attempt to scare/intimidate people. And possibly to look 'alternative'.
Arm yourself with knowledge on the belief systems, even if you don't believe. I'm a member of Children of Artemis, they're good sorts. Witchvox is another good one and the 'official' church of Satan has it's own website. That ones a bit arrogant for my tastes but it's full of info.
Above all, proect yourself on the physical side first, then concentrate on the spiritual.

turbochildren Sun 25-Aug-13 08:41:51

Hei CCTV, just so glad to see you did go to your mum's house! yay.
Also happy that you found the police responsive. There are so many shades of crap out there, I think the police are waking up to that fact!
good luck wuth moving.

cherrysparkles Sun 25-Aug-13 08:50:41

Was just going to say the same as dobbiesmum; I'm Pagan and it really annoyed me to see the Wicca reference (not blaming you OP, I know he probably used the term 'Wicca' to describe his beliefs).

But yeah; what dobbie said smile

garlicagain Sun 25-Aug-13 10:51:27

most Pagans don't even believe in the Devil as it's ... a Judeo-Christian invention ... I can go on for DAYS about this! - Me, too, Dobbies and cherry. Good thing we don't know each other in RL, we'd never shut up! grin

There you go, CCTV, confirmation from actual pagans, in case my atheist ramblings weren't enough!

I'm not scared of evil spirits, but human psychopaths are another matter. Their realm of influence is limited to words & actions, though, like everyone else's.

Dobbiesmum Sun 25-Aug-13 14:53:17

garlic seeing as I bore the pants off DH on the subject and I don't get to my local Moot very often it would be great!
Honestly Op the Paganism aspect is a red herring. Develop a basic knowledge of the subject, it can't scare you if you understand it. (Just thought of the Patheos website, there are many parts of that site that could reassure you)
Keep logging everything with the Police and for your own reference, no matter how small.
Hope you're well flowers

CCTVmum Sun 25-Aug-13 22:15:18

Good evening I am checking in say I got through last night really well and I enjoyed today as we went for lovely coastal walk to help reduce the stress.

I assume my house is fine as police have my number if a problem. But after all got insurance and I really do not want to return their but have no choice on Tuesday am.

This time away and space has given me time to really see this cannot continue but it is going to take as it costs money.

garlic it is my fault as I want to move and cannot increase my borrowing to get more than a studio flat. When mortgage advisor said maint payments increase lending amount I thought oh well they won't contact him as abroad anyhow but I think ex is registered in UK when should not be. So i will contact CSA on Tuesday and canceled too dangerous.

A MN friend on here was talking about CSAa lot as didn't get maint one month and I felt really down as been years andI have struggled as couldn't work for 5 yrs as home educated disabled ds and now I am worse off back in work by a lot of moneysad

But when not in work for those years I could not move as on benefits it is an horrendous circle for me!

I am grateful of all the support and prayers for protection the religion does not matter to me thanks the kind thoughts and wishes mean so much

Ex wrote a song once when attacking called 'do what thou will' he did not have the do not harm others and I realised it was AC quote when I checked. Their was other AC quotes used for titles and also about Ptah and veils and Egyptian pyramids etc but the many satan titles very clear to me as I had not a clue about other religions only my own.

I am using this time to sleep and regain strength and try and thing of ways out of this situation!

I just hope this stops now and I can move before anything happens again. as I really can't cope with it anymore.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 26-Aug-13 14:03:42

Hope last night was also peaceful for you, and that resting for a few days will refresh you enough to face the struggle. flowers

CCTVmum Mon 26-Aug-13 21:44:27

Thank you OLKN we went to the beach today and we had fab time. Tomorrow we have to go home sadly. Even ds wants to stay with his Grandma (I would love to never return home)

My mum has been amazing and we drove around one area I like as quiet to see what is for sale.

I am going to start getting my home up to scratch which oddly enough had guttering fixed and trees removed last week a huge job.

I don't have to look anymore when I feel something is wrong as Garlic will check for me. So this sick joke laugh at the least ex does on the internet at least he will think I have not seen it although I will be informed if anything weird written again that may be a possible threat.

I just hope the wacko music is the worst ex does and not some weird type of rituals to try and harm me etc but am so grateful to you and all MNs here who helped by thoughts and prayers to help counterbalance any nasty stuff the evil twunt was/is thinking of.

It's going to take a while to get out. Trouble is keeping ex from finding us will be tough too. But the house has so many bad nightmares (RL) and I can't stand it anymore their!

OLKN thanks for your RL offer of help and I hope some day you can visit but not as a DV threat situation as you truly have been a rock since I came to MN about this awful situation.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 26-Aug-13 21:53:16

{{{{CCTV}}}} Glad you had a good day, and are starting to make plans for the future. smile

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