Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

The Pyscopath is starting again?

(147 Posts)
CCTVmum Tue 20-Aug-13 01:19:27

If anyone knows me please dont out me. To frightened to use old MN name.

It has been a wonderful few months or should I say nearly a year of peace. No trouble at all since 2012.

I had made plans with help info from here. My main goal to move to be free from any more threats to my and dc life.

Told by mortgage advisor I do not earn enough. They asked did I get maintanence as this counted as wages!

As I dont I thought I would apply as ex doesnt live in UK. I was 100% sure CSA would just say ex moved abroad and close case. I have not heard back from CSA mind you so this could be the outcome. This was 2 weeks ago.

Anyway my senses have gone in overdrive last few days and cant sleep. I decided to check ex blog and low and behold! The title refers to me. His NN for me since we split. The most freaky thing was ( so not even the demonic voice put on) was a weird american sounding childs voice (possible digital enhanced?) of child referring to ex using the nickname I had for ex when we were together (many many years ago).

ex names a night of an attack, but it refers to via FB?

Now thing is if I go to the police they will lock ME up thinking I am nuts!

Welcome to Gas Lighting Infurno <sigh>

Any tips/slaps/hugs welcome as my PTSD has returned 10 fold! But hoping the hypervigilence will keep me awake\alive

NoToast Wed 21-Aug-13 22:42:38

I don't have any experience of women's refuge and the rest but how important is it that you are totally honest with them and Social Services? Isn't it enough that you are scared and it's a time that your violent ex could be around? I understand you want to protect your house but you are more important than your things. Could you get insurance to replace your things if anything happens (take important documents etc with you).

My ex had a big 'Satan' thing going on during psychotic bouts. It may seem laughable to people not going through it but it's bloody scary when you're in it.

Also can you get someone trusted to check his blog for you and warn you if it's updated so you never have to go near it again? Maybe they can send you an email every week that they've accessed it so you don't worry they've forgotten to check.

Sending you positive vibes.

CCTVmum Thu 22-Aug-13 01:22:32

thank you NoToast I know you mean well but honestly been in this situ many times and SS and police take no notice and thinks it is revenge on my part! As very common thing they see for an ex to make up things as revenge for no maint.

I dont know if you had this type of response from SS and police too 'oh its revenge as she isnt getting CSA'.

Then it will be all my fault for going to CSA if I tell WA. I guess it is but so desperate to move and then to be told only maintenance counts as extra wages to make up for the pennies I do earn to try and get mortgage to move.

It is a spiral as I am now scared and jumpy. Ptsd returning Fast. Wish I could not be scared. But my past RL experiences from ex and how clever ex is at doing stuff to convince others I am mad.

I have truly been checkmated by my ex!

Spent most of day with an expensive mortgage broker who charges big fee if I get mortgage with them. Even they are having trouble getting me anything as promised to call back when something found. Got a feeling it is a 'no' from them too! A studio flat I am trying to get. Trouble is Social Services will then say ds hasnt got a bedroom to himself....
i cant afford anything else!

Very jumpy again tonight. My poor old mum who also thought it was me too at first to blame but over years realised what was happening. She never slept last night either as so disturbed by the evil creation and worried for us.

Dont his parents or employers or friends or even GF see this and worry about his mental state?

I am hoping it is a satanic onlie ritual rather ran coming here.
i need to stay strong just difficult when a jitery wreck and no sleep.

SunshineBossaNova Thu 22-Aug-13 01:40:03

Hello lovely

I don't believe in satanism or its power. However, I can get why you are feeling so frightened, given what has happened before. Could you try and hold on to the good that is created when mumsnetters think good things for you, as some kind of antidote against whatever nastiness your x is trying to conjure up?

Please keep posting. You are not alone - there are lots of lovely people on this site, some who know your story and some who don't. We're here to hold your hand when things are tough.

Big hugs to you, your DM and your DC. I hope you get some sleep tonight - please take care of yourself. xxx

garlicagain Thu 22-Aug-13 01:46:45

HI, darling. I've been on your other threads, too. I'm gutted to hear he's managed to scare you again.

I don't believe in anything supernatural at all, but am certainly aware of how malevolent intent can cross over into tangible action sad If there's anything I can do to help practically, then please will one of you PM me - or, Hissy, you know who I am!

I will be around on Saturday. Also sober. Have run out of beer until next week, dammit.

garlicagain Thu 22-Aug-13 01:56:16

August 24th isn't any kind of festival in Wicca or satanism - just checked. My guess is they're having a party because of the bank holiday weekend.

CCTVmum Thu 22-Aug-13 02:14:37

Hi GB thank you so much for your support. Thanks for checking if a festivel date too! Wish it was as would then be 'Ahhh I see' but sadly not then! Just another long BH maybe if I drink a bottle I will be to happy and drunk to care. Ex mainly always attacked my home on BH weekends when he would be home for loner.

I think it was you GB and spring who first explained gas lighting to me as was shock as ex was doing this all the time. I was shocked but relieved to know that this type of behaviour is common in this type if mindset.

Hi Sunshine I remember you too thank you for your lovely idea....maybe we can have a MN ritual online to counterbalance (even if it is rubbish to just help me feel safe Sat night).

NoToast thank you...I need to know I am not alone with this psyhoc dribble! Did your ex get diagnosed after? That is great idea gettig some else to check so my IP isnt showing up?

Sunshine you got me thinking of (whats the name of when you do what the person did to mirror them) its a psychopathic trait cant remember now, but doing good ritual should counteract?

NoToast Thu 22-Aug-13 02:19:33

I'm sorry, am trying to be helpful but it's the last thing you want to hear when you are trying your bloody hardest. I think I get it now about WA/CSA and your mortgage.

I really hope it works out for you and you get past this weekend fine. It's not fair you have to go through this.

NoToast Thu 22-Aug-13 02:23:10

Just responded to your earlier post, happy to talk a bit about my experience but going to sleep right now. Catch-up soon.

SunshineBossaNova Thu 22-Aug-13 02:23:28

Hello lovely

My XH was abusive (but thankfully not too dangerous) - he was a master of gaslighting. It's hideous, and I'm sure your XH posts things on his blog knowing that it will be a trigger.

I won't have internet access on Saturday (am away with DH and MIL) but will be thinking of you.

I don't know the word you mean, but I think I understand what you mean about mirroring. Perhaps staying close to MN peeps on Saturday night would be a good idea - a kind of shield IYSWIM? I won't be online, but like I said I will be thinking of you and your DC.

<gentle squeeze>

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 22-Aug-13 15:38:44

Re some sort of spiritual support, I'll happily ask over in the religion topic if we have any white witches or similar, who might be able to help out with rituals for you, OP?

StElmo Thu 22-Aug-13 16:31:09

I obviously haven't listened to your ex's blog, but I think I know the song about a man who goes crazy and kills his family (harvester of sorrow) the disembodied voice is actually on the B side and part of a completely different song. I think you should confide in a real life friend about all of this but try not to worry too much about the 'Satan' stuff, you're ex says he's Wiccan but also calls himself High Priest of Evil? He has no idea what he'd talking about.

LemonDrizzled Thu 22-Aug-13 16:54:17

It's a shame to hear you so afraid of what your ex can do. He is only a man and still subject to the law. His nonsense about satanism wouldn't worry you if you didn't go looking for trouble on his blog. If it helps you we can have a virtual spell casting session to protect you on Saturday. But if it was me I would just ignore the silly man and get on with something more interesting.
Does Satan use Twitter too? or just Facebook?

FridaKarlov Thu 22-Aug-13 17:29:51

Hi OP.

If he's a Satanist, then know this: curses will only work if you let them- it's the fear of the curse that does the damage. He can light all the black candles he wants and chant til he's blue in the face, but the only magical power he has is your fear. If you regard him as a pathetic delusional tool, then he has no power.

CCTVmum Thu 22-Aug-13 17:43:10

NoToast I think you helped me last yr or yr before under different name as not many MNs here with ex's into Satan etc
Would your ex still try to control you with fear being the reason etc I know my ex knows me and he knows a satanic threat would frighten me.

I do think Unch what you say re ex knows my IP address and loves frightening me if he does know it is for my eyes that website as all his music is usually twisted with weird names that are evil.

OLKN would you please! You will word it better than me and not sound loony! I imagine a lot of good spiritual advice on that section...great idea.

I phoned VS and the woman is off but they can only give support now. They said to speak to and log it with police...but no point tbh.

I imagine by Sat night I will be so exhausted I will sleep through a bomb...literally!

turbochildren Thu 22-Aug-13 17:47:01

Hei op, I thought I posted yesterday, but must have been distracted. Just wanted to say I understand if this creep is into Alistair Crawley, that you are scared. I was going to suggest that you go away for the weekend, as a temporary measure. Can you visit your mum?
Agree with Frida, if it's just a magic circle type thing, but clearly you are worried he's going to rile up the others in his group (if he is high priest) and go to a physical attack. I'd ring WA, and also see if you can find any white witches for support. I'm not into that sort of thing, but there are people that are, and they may be able to offer you real life support against this loony.
Crawley was a mad person, and to follow his footsteps require all sort of action, as far as I gathered when I read up on it in days gone by.

CCTVmum Thu 22-Aug-13 17:54:08

grin drizzle re twitter too! Made me laugh! Makes me start to relise what a turp he is!

However when it gets dard I get scared now. So StElmo I truely would like a help like this even it just helps me feel safe psychologicaly. So please any spells or prayers greatly appreciated. That is the clip on the end of ex song after the venomish talking in tongue (religious St Peter music before that and the planning to create something super evil on Sat night on FB? ) ( sorry I sound crazy but its the gaslighting).
He says he is high priest and counsellor of wiccan pagan cult and his hero is Alister Crawley!

I,ve been getting choking feelings in my throat but I know that is anxiety, well I ihope that is all it is.

garlicagain Thu 22-Aug-13 17:55:54

I'm hoping ex will have a ceremony, drink mead, then retire to the pub for an occult back-slapping session. He would be expecting his summoned spirits to beaver over to OP's house & do his bidding - which won't happen grin

Problem is he does lurk around her home - hence the CCTV - he plays mind games to which, given their history, OP's still quite vulnerable, and has attacked her and her house in the past.

Me, I'm willing to call out the games for the bullshit they are. I also think it's not a bad idea to get spiritual support if it will help you feel protected. But the very best thing, imo, would be for you to get away with DC and stay somewhere you feel safe.

CCTVmum Thu 22-Aug-13 18:00:12

Shall I call 101? Victim support said too and BH weekend looming as I know this is when he comes home home (passes my house on motorway so only 10 mins out if his way to do something).

Police have never done nought though to point!

Might try WA? Getting scared as getting closer.

garlicagain Thu 22-Aug-13 18:00:48

Does he not even know how to spell Aleister Crowley's name? Some wizard he is! grin

I've read all Crowley's work, had his books on my shelves for years. Never been attacked by Gollums wink

garlicagain Thu 22-Aug-13 18:02:10

Yes, if Victim Support said to call them, do! Why ever not?

You can call VS again, too, can't you smile Good that you're thinking of these things. It shows you've got at least one foot firmly in the real world, and that's where you're safe iyswim.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 22-Aug-13 18:14:57

Thread started.

turbochildren Thu 22-Aug-13 18:15:26

Yes, he can chant till he's blue in the face and draw up a gazillion pentagons or whatever, but that bit can't do anything to you. It's if he shows up at your door, which is why I'd suggest you are elsewhere for that night. Seconding Garlic!
I've been on graveyards many a night (it was where I used to park my bike so no-one would steal it), and read some of his books (though I still can't spell the name smile )
And yes, do call VS and 101 (and say you have suspicions something's up?)

CCTVmum Thu 22-Aug-13 18:41:12

Frida thank you I try to think that way...but as getting closer and possibly tired older etc feel more frightened. Stupid really as I was a stubborn cow in they earlier years and would not leave my house. Now I am trying to get out for good.

Well I hope the only spirits he has contact GB is 37.5% vol smile
It's me that is no wizard as spelt AC name wrong eek!

Just phoned WA and they will put me up same price as travelodge but at least I wont be alone if I can't cope at home alone. Don't want to be alone as I know this is an internet online thing on FB. But never know until Sat night...I feel ill with this time round can't cope with it. It's beating me down fast.

Thank you so much OLKN knowing others are willing safety too gives me support.

WA told me to get police to put marker on property Sat night.

Thanks turbo too.

Really don't know what I would do without you MNs thanks

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 22-Aug-13 18:47:23

Excellent news that WA can offer you a bed and company on Saturday if you feel you need it. Sound like a good choice.

garlicagain Thu 22-Aug-13 18:53:12

I think so, too! You could take a purple candle and some rosemary oil with you, OP smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now