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I am unsure whether I have just had my first ever orgasm

(61 Posts)
Totalluvvie Mon 19-Aug-13 21:23:00

A bit of background: I have never ever had an orgasm. Not on my own or with a partner. Neither have I ever masturbated. I have been married, very happily so, for nearly 10 years, and, with a lot of encouragement from DH, decided that it was definitely time to work through why. So I have invested in a vibrator from emotional bliss, read some books on why women son't orgasm, or lose their orgasm etc, and decided to try and masturbate to find out what works for me. The idea is that I have time and space to have a go myself, and then involve DH when I feel comfortable. No rush and no pressure.

Right. So whilst having a play with the vibrator tonight, after 10 minutes or so, feeling more and more turned on, I sort of tensed up, and felt a series of five or so involuntary muscle spasms in my vagina, and then felt something wet inside (though nothing came out of me) and my heart raced. It was quite nice smile but not mind blowing, and didn't last more than five or so seconds.

Is this an orgasm? I know that some people will say that if I am unsure, then it cannot be, but I don't have anything to compare it to, which is why I am asking!

LEMisdisappointed Mon 19-Aug-13 21:26:02

Yep - sounds about right! result!

Totalluvvie Mon 19-Aug-13 21:28:31

Then LEM, I am feeling that it has all been a bit of a fuss about nothing! Yes, it was nice, but not mind blowing. And I don't feel a pressing need for another! But maybe I will once I get my head around it.

AKissIsNotAContract Mon 19-Aug-13 21:28:40

I would have said if you are unsure then it probably isn't. You'll know when you have an orgasm.

PartyFops Mon 19-Aug-13 21:28:49

I suspect its an "outie", IMO there are innies and outies, outies certainly count but innies are the biggies grin.

But well done! wink

If you can get an innie with some inner stimulation at the same time maybe you can achieve an innie too. Good luck !

thisisyesterday Mon 19-Aug-13 21:30:39

well you know not all orgasms are equal.
i'm sorry you gave yourself an underwhelming one op grin

maybe you and dh can work on a slightly more mind-blowing one?

HeavenlyYoni Mon 19-Aug-13 21:31:32

Am I the only one never to have heard of innies and outies?

Debs75 Mon 19-Aug-13 21:31:53

Well some are nice and make you feel a bit fluttery and some are just mind blowing and knock you out for an hour.grin

A bit more playing and you will soon discover how nice they can be and how to get the really toe-clenching screaming ones. It is worth finding out how best to have

AKissIsNotAContract Mon 19-Aug-13 21:34:05

Am I the only one never to have heard of innies and outies?

I assume innie refers to a vaginal orgasm and outie to a clitoral. I've not heard of innies and outies either, unless referring to belly buttons.

nickelbabe Mon 19-Aug-13 21:34:07

I agree that you don't know if you've nothing to compare to.

but it definitely sounds like you did grin

now you can practice for an outie - mine feels like I have a huge shiver all over but more than walking over your grave and feels all swollen in my underbeneathsies

kalidanger Mon 19-Aug-13 21:37:07

Wow, I have 'outies and innies' but never heard them described like that grin IME the innies are the first one that kind of releases the pressure then the second one is quite different and deeper, right up inside. I only get them like that from masturbating. And the ones I have through oral with bf are different again. Never had a PIV one.

OP Keep going! Force another one out wink And please don't be too shy to use it with your DH - it'll be very different if you're turned on all over.

Hooray! Orgasms!

Totalluvvie Mon 19-Aug-13 21:37:48

Christ, it has taken me this many years to get a straightforward one - I'm not sure how long it would take to get a toe clenchingly screaming one! I think its a bit beyond me. Maybe I need to be fuelled by wine! Seriously though, it was such an anti climax (forgive the pun) and I can only hold myself responsible smile

kalidanger Mon 19-Aug-13 21:38:01

Or maybe the outie is the first one confused

Anyway. Do it more.

beachyhead Mon 19-Aug-13 21:41:36

Practice makes perfectwink

AKissIsNotAContract Mon 19-Aug-13 21:41:54

Stick something up your bum, that always gives me a good one.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Mon 19-Aug-13 21:42:15

Some orgasms are just little tingly spasms, nice and scratch an itch but nothing special. They can get much better grin keep practicing. You really need to be very turned on and have lots of foreplay to achieve the super O IME.

PartyFops Mon 19-Aug-13 21:42:34

I always say that a clitoral orgasm is an outie and a g spot orgasm is the innie. Innies rule! (although rare in my house!)

TrinityRhino Mon 19-Aug-13 21:45:02

'such and anti climax and I can only hold myself responsible'

I just laughed so loudly I scared the dog awake grin

thisisyesterday Mon 19-Aug-13 21:46:07

i guess we should all just be grateful the OP isn't a lesbian

Tabby1963 Mon 19-Aug-13 21:46:47

Well totaluvvie, you had a DIY one and when I do myself they are a pleasant release. However, when DH does me I think my head is going to explode :D

You and your DH need to get together one evening and 'explore' this a bit more ;)

YoniBottsBumgina Mon 19-Aug-13 21:46:48

I think once you've done it once it's easier to recognise the feelings leading up to it and relax into letting it happen again.

It gets better IME grin Also agree with having pressure inside too but only if/when you're ready smile

LoisPuddingLane Mon 19-Aug-13 21:49:54

Orgasms can vary greatly. Sometimes when I'm the most turned on, all I get is a damp squib - more or less what you describe. Just all the "activity" of an orgasm but none of the feeling. Other times when I'm not particularly turned on I get something that would wake the neighbours, it's so intense.

Keep playing. You'll find different responses to different things.

sussexmum38 Mon 19-Aug-13 21:52:39

I think that you had your first one. I am sure they will get better when you relax. Just experiment and see what works for you. Maybe more clitoral play at the same time. Don't give up, its worth the effort.

LoisPuddingLane Mon 19-Aug-13 21:53:03

Innies and outies? This is too confusing. Also, one is not necessarily better than the other. It just depends how my lady fanjo is feeling on that day. Mind of her own, she has.

kalidanger Mon 19-Aug-13 21:55:43

My underbeneathness is temperamental too.

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