Should I start seeing first love again ?

[mamas12]

Just as it says
I have been single for 7 years He is newly single after an on/off relationship of 6 years
I know the saying 'never go back' and I agree, I know he a flakey kind of person as in he is easily led, anything for an easy life sort.
I don't think it will last and may not end well due to history BUT
I am lonely, I would love to have some attention/affection in my life
Is that good enough reason to be reckless?

[mamas12]

Just to compound things I am best friends with his sister and I'm worried about the triangle - someone will fall out with the others so it might end up them against me or at least a strained atmosphere
OR we could all be one happy family!!!

[professorgrommit]

Yes! Either old love will be rekindled for the good OR half way through your cup of coffee etc you will recall why you broke up with great clarity and never call again. Either way a good outcome!

[mamas12]

Perhaps you're right
I may be overthinking it
It's too complicated in my head , I haven't had a date in 25 years and freaking out
We are both different now...

[professorgrommit]

Then make it a coffee and very importantly have zero expectations. Take it from there as if its a horror you can skip off asap without offense. If the sparks still there, a second cup. Don't make it into too much in your head. Instaed think, wwhat have you got to lose?

[12345Floris]

Life's short. Go for it. You'll soon see some signs as to why you weren't suited first time round :)

[Stubbed]

Ha ha I did this and what a shock. He wasn't the cool, sophisticated teenager that he was the first time. He was a needy, emotional, broke pot head with an anger problem. Lasted 3 months. It certainly corrected the nostalgic romance in my memory!

[Stubbed]

Nb. Do it or you'll never know.

[mamas12]

Thanks for answering I can't talk to best friend about it of course
Shit I ll go for it and ill let you know if it was worth it

[mamas12]

Oh no stubbed!
I know what's gone on in his life through sister but haven't actually seem him for years
Well he always made me laugh anyway which I am in dire need along with affection god I'm sounding desperate!

[professorgrommit]

What a "no"! Forget it. The mans a fool! But stop putting yourself down and get proactive. There's a lovely man out there to love you and for you to love. Go find him!

[LadyMud]

Prof G, the OP was just commenting on someone else's story! Nothing's happened yet.

[mamas12]

Ha thanks for the advice though !
Won't be seeing him til next week actually but I'm definitely overthinking it because I haven't 'had' 'seen' anyone for yeeeeeears eek j
And he knew me when I was a skinny pert 18 yr old !

[jay55]

Why did you split first time?

[Imogencodpiece]

Hi :) Mammas12, I did this last year and it was the best decision I ever made!
Met first love for a drink back in august 2011, didn't think much of it at first but we got talking and I now feel like iv been waiting for him my whole life! long story short, he moved to my city last march i was pregnant by june and we were living together by december, we now have a bouncing baby boy and are very happy together. i say give it a go! what exactly have you got to lose?

[Dawnywoo]

Oh, mamas I don't want to hijack your thread but I'm in exactly the same position and am also meeting my first love next week for coffee with a view to rekindling... I do hope we haven't had out rose tinted glasses on. Anyway, just to say, deep breath and go for it. That's what I'm going to do anyway.

The pert 18 year old bit made me laugh - same here!!! (although we met up briefly 6 yrs ago)

Imogen that's so wonderful.

[mamas12]

Wow Imogen that's amazing

Dannywoo please come back and let me know how it went and we'll compare notes so to speak

Jay that's my biggest problem the way it ended 'twas very sad and I didn't see my friend for years after that either

[Dawnywoo]

mamas Will do.

Have you arranged a day yet?

I'm supposed to be meeting on Wednesday but it may revolve around work commitments.

I hope the way it ended was something to do with being young, that way, it might not apply now you are both older and wiser?

[mamas12]

Well we were very young, together for a bout two years.
The bald facts are I got pregnant he said he couldn't be a dad at that time and I realised I wasn't ready to be a mum either so had a termination and relationship didn't survive
Loads more finer detail obviously
And apart from three other in the whole wide world I've never shared that before in all these years!
That's what I mean about our history

[mamas12]

Oookaaaay killed my own thread
No one can cope with this scenario then

[GilmoursPillow]

Who has suggested you meet up again?

[ImperialBlether]

I'd leave well alone. In certain circumstances I would say yes, go on, but not now.

He's flakey. You associate him with a bad time in your life. You're lonely and vulnerable. You risk losing your best friend over it.

Ask your friend to help you find someone new, but keep away from her brother.

[coffeewineandchocolate]

I don't know the circumstances change anything if you were both involved in making the decision. You say you know what he is like (flaky) so as long as you don't emotionally invest more than him out could be fun

[mamas12]

Yep those are the reasons Imperial why I'm hesitating you are right but
But then if I am aware I could just have some fun?

[Wibblypiglikesbananas]

I did this and we're now happily married with DC2 on the way! I'd say meet up and see - if you don't, you'll always wonder what could have been.

If it works out, great. If it doesn't, you've tried and laid a ghost to rest.

Good luck!

[Dawnywoo]

Hi mamas sorry I haven't had a chance to come back since yesterday morning. It was very brave of you to share your story.

I still think you should do it (I think pretty much every one agrees) because you will be forever left wondering otherwise. Just be aware that you are lonely and its easy to get caught up. Go with your gut instinct when you see him. I really hope it works out.

If it helps at all, in my own situation I am wildly swinging between my instinct screaming 'leave well alone' and 'I've got to see him' which is mainly due to months of frustrating texts to each other.

I now need to fill in the gaps. Unless I see him I will never know.