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Fuck Buddies can anyone tell me ?

(120 Posts)
Honeysucklerose Thu 01-Aug-13 06:55:30

Been wondering and what is it that is required when someone has a Fuck Buddy ?, curious really not come across this before.

ALittleStranger Sat 03-Aug-13 08:22:24

The likes of MisBoPeep et al depress me. You seem to have a view of female sexuality which isn't very sexual and is all about snaring a man. Women are allowed to be discerning and for me my time and commitment is more valuable than my body, and there are some men where just having them between your legs as you so snippily put it is quite enough.

I don't know why it's so hard to imagine that there could be someone you find attractive and have fun with but don't want to be in a relationship with. If I'm honest casual, non-monogomous relationships hold a lot of appeal for me right now, but they're so hard to negotiate because men always want more, so you end up falling into the "girlfriend" role to be polite.

pinkyredrose Sat 03-Aug-13 12:53:58

missbopeep you think that prostitutes are usually women and escorts are usually men? hmm

You may do well to do some research as you don't seem to know what the hell you're talking about.

Golferman Sat 03-Aug-13 19:05:09

I was always taught to share Honeysuckle, quite literally in this case :-D

Honeysucklerose Sat 03-Aug-13 20:08:11

Well if it works for you and your wife thats great , different people different strokes and all that!

JoylessFucker Mon 05-Aug-13 11:46:53

missbopeep oh deary deary me ... yes, I'm very familiar with the "shoot from the hip" attitude one finds on MN. It why I love this site so much. However, I usually find rather more wit and humour than you are displaying on this thread.

As for being uptight & defensive, don't make me laugh. You're the one being a tight arse about grown women discussing having a fuck buddy. Time for you to take a good look at yourself before you start shooting your mouth off without discrimination.

Missbopeep Mon 05-Aug-13 13:50:42

Hmmm...when you mentioned people having the nerve to post such and such on a 'public forum' ( which you found distasteful) I couldn't help thinking that some posters have user names which - on a public forum- may be considered by some people to be rather offensive.

JoylessFucker Mon 05-Aug-13 15:54:10

My profile name was taken from a thread I participated in on here. A poster who was happily shooting from the hip on a subject she knew nothing about (and I knew a lot about) called me one. In that instance, I was more than happy to be one of a number of posters to be dubbed such ... and it tickled me ... so I adopted it.

Oh and please review my message, I didn't say I found it distasteful. Actually what I found it was simply unnecessary. It added nothing to the discussion, didn't help get your point of view across and just seemed to drag things into the gutter. Until you made that post, I felt you were presenting your case well and thought it was a shame that you went off tangent.

mindyourownbusiness Mon 05-Aug-13 16:02:18

Anyone else cant get the image of that swinging couple on Benidorm when reading Mr Golfermans post.

Sorry no offence Mr G I am sure you and DW are nothing at all like that.


SolidGoldBrass Wed 07-Aug-13 00:10:09

I have generally found that people who disapprove of sex without commitment (as distinct from just not wanting to engage in it themselves) are people who are quite happy with a patriarchal society and who are basically not very clever. This very definitely includes 'sexperts' whose understanding of basic biology is completely lacking. All this guff about women's hormones making them weeping slaves of the cock has no actual, scientific, practical truth at all. It just suits men to insist that women can't ride on their mighty willies without immediately becoming desperate to do their housework.

MikeSmith2013 Thu 19-Sep-13 19:19:05

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DollyTwat Thu 19-Sep-13 19:35:37

I've had a few FWB
Best sex I've ever had

I'm a consenting, willing adult. Suits me as I don't want a relationship at the moment

lurkinglorna Thu 19-Sep-13 19:40:51

you end up falling into the "girlfriend" role to be polite.

Love that line grin I'm trying to detach a Dr from me right now.

oh god fuckity fuck its like handing notice in at work...confused

Yougotbale Thu 19-Sep-13 23:41:40

I think FB works well and has for me in the past. I realise this wont work for everyone. My friends that can't handle it are the ones that are never single for more than a few months. They go from relationship to relationship. They always have to have a partner. My friends that make FB work, are very capable of long term relationships but don't need to be in a relationship. They wouldn't feel any pressure or flinch at being single for 5 years. I suppose they have more understanding of who they are.
I'm 34, so what I have noticed for people my age is that FB starts early in life and people figure it out quite quickly. (I say my age, because I'm not sure if FB as we know it know would have same definition for my grandad when he was young. He says there was a lot more societal and religious pressure on his sexual freedom).

lurkinglorna Thu 19-Sep-13 23:50:30

Excellent points there Yougotbale smile

Funnily enough, one of the reasons why I have a "lover" rather than a boyfriend more often, is that I take a committed relationship VERY seriously when I'm in one, or what's the point?

One of my dates this summer cuntwas taking the piss out of me when I said that last year when I did some bar shifts to help with the bills, I wouldn't accept very big tips from single guys as I was in an LDR at the time and it felt disloyal. All in or not in, I don't even cheat "in my head" smile

But "because" I take relationships very seriously, I also take getting into one very seriously. I'd rather not call someone my "boyfriend" and then be all half hearted about it.

(but I can't go for years without "some" romance and naked intimacy, hence the need for a lover or three! grin)

Msbluebozooka Fri 20-Sep-13 00:22:42

Missbo have you ever been to an Anne Summers party and bought a great big dildo at 40 quid ? . Well FB are much cheaper and even go down on you too , for free !! It's ace try it and see !!

JaceyBee Fri 20-Sep-13 01:02:26

I've been single for 2 years since separating from exh and I'm a huge fan of the fwb/fb arrangement. I currently have several. While I don't go out of my way to tell them all the details of my relationships with the others, they all know that they're not exclusive with me and we are free agents who can do what we want.

I have decided for many reasons that I don't want a committed relationship again, at least not for a while but I love sex and want it as regularly as I can. I care a lot about them all, I enjoy their company and like hanging out with them in and out of bed. I'm just not in love with them and therefore don't feel any jealousy or concern about what they get up to when not with me.

I understand it's not for everyone but it works very well for me, I have done it a lot over the years (when single) and it has never 'gone sour'. Basically I agree 100% with SGB (as I nearly always do!)

Lavenderhoney Fri 20-Sep-13 03:25:11

I have known plenty of people with FWB, mostly drifting together after a night out, and some have ended up together.

I knew one woman who actively turned her nose up at FWB/ ons as she needed to feel loved and respected. yet she was a serial shagger of married men- " we have such a connection, its so special" Ffs.

I never saw any problems, it was only when one got into a relationship and met the FWB it could be awkward, if that new person couldn't accept that their partner had had a sexual history, which can happens whether it was a ons or Ldr.

I think it seems sordid when one person is being used by the other and dtd to try to force a relationship, but as there should be no expectations of anything outside FWB, it shouldn't happen. They are a friend already iyswim. If you start to get feelings for your FWB lover, or not doing things as it means you won't see them, like dating! fess up and stop seeing them. And if you sense them getting feelings for you, stop at once!

Its so complicated- maybe just go for a conventional relationship?smile

dierdredenford Sat 23-Nov-13 12:38:56

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Gay40 Sat 23-Nov-13 14:25:33

Not being a weeping slave to the cock, I don't understand why some women have love and sex all muddled up in their heads. As long as you are honest and upfront about what is going on - FB, FWB, relationships - and with a consenting adult, then what is the problem?
Some people need to move on from this 1950s nonsense.

annhathaway Sat 23-Nov-13 14:55:39

Looks like Matalan is the place to hang out Dierdre.

If you are real ( and I suspect not) what you had was an affair. Best face up to it and hope your poor DH doesn't find out.

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