Fantasies about an ex

[spoonface]

Urm, not sure how to phrase this really.

I'm in a long term relationship. We're happy, he's great, I love him, we have a good life etc but I keep fantasising about an ex boyfriend.
We split up about 13 years ago and he was a bit of an arse really, he was pretty mean to me and caused some problems between some mutual friends. He's not great looking (I'm no model either and I know looks don't mean everything, just wanted to point out he isn't some adonis or anything) and he has no career to speak of. People generally say 'I can't believe you went out with him'
I see him from time to time as I work with his brother but we don't really move in the same circles.

This may sound really cruel, but he kind of repulses me.

But in the last few month I keep having saucy thoughts about him. Most days I find myself thinking, ooh wouldn't it be hot if we just went at it on the floor, or something like that.

It's freaking me out! Why is this happening and why all of a sudden after all these years?

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Maybe he's just a focus for your boredom? As you say, he's not an attractive man either in personality or appearance.... although presumably there was something about him you liked. Good at sex? You've no real intention of doing anything with him. But maybe your long term relationship, your job or your life generally is so dull/repetitive that you've got to dip into this fantasy to stave off the boredom?

[spoonface]

Ok that makes sense. Thanks.
Need to work at spicing things up a bit at home.
Though to be honest the sex want even that great either!!!

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I wondered if he'd been one of those sexually thrilling but slobby, socially embarrassing, munter types that you stay with against your better judgement ... :)

[spoonface]

Ha, what can I say- I was young!