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Should I be Worried

(27 Posts)
Hubertscubert Thu 25-Jul-13 20:51:38

Often on an evening while I am watching television my husband will walk behind me and put his penis in my ear, how should I react to this behaviour?

evelynj Fri 26-Jul-13 02:33:05

Haha, brilliant-this made nighttime feed worthwhile!

I'd go with the deep heat spray. And yes I'd be worried!

JamEyelid Fri 26-Jul-13 02:30:44

If he has a set time that he likes to do this I suggest ear candles.

Carmeyjo Fri 26-Jul-13 02:18:38

Give it a whack with the TV times!

SolidGoldBrass Fri 26-Jul-13 02:06:52

Mind you, does he piss in your ear, jizz in your ear, or just give your poor lughole a quick swat with his knob? There's three different potential fetishes going on...

CalamityKate Fri 26-Jul-13 00:37:33

Nothing wrong with aural sex.

Glowbuggy Fri 26-Jul-13 00:03:19

Hire a male escort and when your DP is asleep, wake him up with a penis in his ear.

McBalls Fri 26-Jul-13 00:01:47

Ear muffs. Anything else is just provocation.

loopylou6 Thu 25-Jul-13 23:56:40

I'd just bite it off

NameThatTuna Thu 25-Jul-13 23:25:40

Kinkery???? Kinky blush

NameThatTuna Thu 25-Jul-13 23:24:49

Nowt wrong with a bit of kinkery fuckery OP.

SolidGoldBrass Thu 25-Jul-13 22:38:24

I believe that the insane nanny state has not yet outlawed smoking in private houses. Therefore, if you don't smoke at present, take up the hobby so that the next time he does it you can stub your fag out on it without taking your eyes off the telly.

ChipsNKetchup Thu 25-Jul-13 22:36:55

I've been through this too, its such a pain. I'd recommend keeping a can of deep heat spray to hand. A good in his japs eye helps to get your message across. To ensure he doesn't get complacent try spraying some into his clean underwear in in the morning at random times, it'll keep him on his toes - quite literally in fact!

Hope this helps.

KatieScarlett2833 Thu 25-Jul-13 22:15:03

I would flick it away while continuing to watch TV smile

HeySoulSister Thu 25-Jul-13 21:19:24

Make sure all chairs/sofas are pushed against a wall!!

MaryBateman Thu 25-Jul-13 21:06:42

I personally refuse to acknowledge any sexual advance that isn't in the Karma Sutra. The penis in ear position, isn't to my knowledge, in there. I would tell him to fuck off and learn about sexual etiquette. He sounds ill educated in the art of love.

Callmedreckly Thu 25-Jul-13 21:01:59

ChrissieTay - Its the school holidays!

ChrissieTay Thu 25-Jul-13 20:59:38

What the actual fuck ?! OP are you being serious ??! This made me laugh out loud though winkgrinsmile

JaceyBee Thu 25-Jul-13 20:58:08

Well, that's not what I was expecting! Nowt so queer as folk eh?!

Why worry? It's totally normal behaviour. All 3 of my husbands do exactly the same.

Callmedreckly Thu 25-Jul-13 20:56:24

Move the sofa, against the wall then he cant walk behind you.
Or move your head quick & bite it off.
That should stop the knobber.

digerd Thu 25-Jul-13 20:55:35

My ear will take only the size of my slender finger tip?hmm

LittlePeaPod Thu 25-Jul-13 20:54:24

What? Why? [Hmm] That's a bit odd / chikdish in my book but each to their own...

Why does this make you wonder if you should be worried? Is he only joking childish as it may be or is it something else?

Roshbegosh Thu 25-Jul-13 20:53:59

Buy some ear rings from a punk shop.

Cabrinha Thu 25-Jul-13 20:53:59

It is a well known saying that you should never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. So yes, you should be worried. HTH.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 25-Jul-13 20:53:57

I think a man with a penis the size of a cotton-bud must be a pathetic creature...

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