Help please!! Losing the will .... :(

[Clueless73]

I really need some opinions on this one as I swear I am losing the plot/will to live. The trouble is I don't know if it's me and if I am just being completely unreasonable/ have a screw loose/am an anti-social git.
In a nutshell, I feel like I am about to explode because DH is always - and I mean ALWAYS around. Yes he does work, but then he comes home. And stays at home. All night, every night, and all weekend. He has no social life outside of the home. No friends, no activities that he does, nothing. He stays at home and his life revolves around being at home. He doesn't talk a great deal, but listens to the radio almost constantly/watches telly. Reads sometimes. We rarely have a conversation; we certainly havn't had a meaningful one for years :( I am naturally more outgoing by nature but have some issues around anxiety attacks etc that I am addressing/trying to tackle head on. That isn't easy but I feel I'm making fairly good progress. However he will often say things along the lines of 'oh you won't be able to do that' . I don't need his approval but am just feeling deeply irritated by his attitude. At best (?) I find it negative and defeatist, and at worse it feels that he is treating me like a child, almost as if he wants to keep me dependant upon him in quite a childlike manner - I say this because he makes himself indispensable in terms of looking after the kids, and he does provide financially, yet he rarely engages in any kind of meaningful conversation with me, physical contact is non-existent, and he seems to think that this is absolutely fine, and that I ought to be happy with this. I have asked him to leave a few time, and he has, but he keeps coming back. Am I being an ungrateful cow to not be happy with this kind of a home life? It feels heavy and stressful, and I feel suffocated and frustrated and resentful. I am struggling with never having my own space - we live in a very small flat and I get no space to myself. I am finding the kids very very full on and feel awful that I am feeling resentful of all of this :( I would really appreciate any wise words from mumsnetters on this one as I don't know if I am being completely unreasonable and selfish to be needing more from a relationship, and to be feeling so resentful at having no space for myself ...has anyone else experienced anything similar?

[wordyBird]

You're stuck in a small flat with demanding children, an anxiety issue, a husband who effectively ignores you, and no personal space. I'm not surprised you feel suffocated.

When he says 'oh you won't be able to do that', is he talking about the things you're doing to tackle anxiety? Because if so, that is straightforward undermining.

It's really not unreasonable or selfish to want more than this from a relationship. I'm sure you didn't embark on married life with your DH, in the hope that he'd ignore you, undermine you, not touch you, and that he'd find the arrangement wonderful however miserable you were.