A close female relation, lets call her Sarah is in a new relationship and it's setting off alarm bells. Am I being too suspicious when I can't see what could be going on that's dodgy.
Met guy in spring. He ran prominent local business. German national living in UK They got engaged within three weeks Announced wedding for July. When asked about haste everyone was told wedding had to be in July for business reasons He is very flash with money, said they were looking at £1,000,000 houses locally. Talked about buying Sarah a new car. Booked wedding dress, lots of staying in London to celebrate etc. Wedding planned abroad, blessing planned for 5* hotel in London. Suddenly announced his local business closing Started looking for homes in london instead - new business venture planned there. No family that he is in contact with/on speaking terms with We are told he has operation due in Europe in a few months for long trm heart problem We are told he has diabeties. Also problems which cause him to go to bed often. Attending local hospital for tests but Sarah is not allowed to go with him. He says his diabeties medicines are not working but Drs can't get combination right. He moves in with Sarah's parents, sleeping in Sarah's old room. We hear he has problems with lost passport and difficulties getting it replaced. It emerges that previous business went bankrupt. Latest business closure sparks tales in local press of financial problems and unpaid suppliers/staff. He says business folded because staff were stealing from him. House buying plans actually result in moving into rented flat in London. While Sarah is at her parents he rings telling her he got called into hear recent test results (called into London hospital rather then hosp where tests were done). Test results suggest heart condition is considerably worse and he now has multiple cancers and is very seriously ill, passing out frequently and effectively in life threatening condition. He tells Sarah he needs her to stay with parents while he processes bad news. He is in their flat in London not having been admitted. Wedding is now on hold until he is better although registry office wedding very soon has been suggested.
All of this has happen in about two months. Am I being a cow? Why is this all making me prickly.
Hmmm I think if he hasn't married her and she hasn't given him any money I wouldn't worry to much (apart from how much her heart may get hurt!) but I would ensure she is careful about money/marriage as it does sound a little strange!!
SInce you guys know the business exists and stories in the local paper etc then it could be true about his business, but:
No family that he is in contact with/on speaking terms with Attending local hospital for tests but Sarah is not allowed to go with him he has problems with lost passport and difficulties getting it replaced
Are you sure he is not married or separated from his wife.
I think he's shot his wad with 'multiple cancers' I'm not a doctor (!) but multiple cancers metastasising would mean, unfortunately, that he's literally at deaths door. I don't wish to be ridiculously harsh but.... it's ridiculous.
Sarah's parents probably have some money but no mor than about £20,000. I would like to say they wouldn't be daft nd lend any but tbh they are more smitten with him than Sarah. They treat him like a film star. They are all too deeply involved to hear any questions. I have tried like - 'why on earth is Sarah not allowed to visit her own home and why is she not allowed to any of the hospital appts' but apparently he is just too worried that he will find it too upsetting.
Yes, I wondered about another partner at hospital but actuaally it is also odd that he has never been with her when taken ill, she truthfully only has his word for it when he says he is at the hospital or as been.
Also true about the multiple cancers. He has heart condition requiring surgery in October which is aporently deteriorating and four cancers and uncontolled diabeties yet hospital sent him home to an empty flat.
And all of that in two months? Nope, don't believe that at all.
I wonder if you could speak with police on 101 and say you're concerned about fraud or misrepresentation? Minor sure that he's committed a crime though but he sounds like he's laying the foundations for a con.
Does Sarah have the address of his flat? If not, it's quite likely he's got at least one other partner/wife who he's lying to as well. He may have given a false name to Sarah so googling may not prove anything.
The only way to find out who this man really is will be by using a PI. Is this something you would consider doing?
The flat is theirs, rented literally about a week ago. Rented.
Sarah's parents do own their own home but I think/hope they would not borrow against it! Actually part of his 'charm' has been his flash lifestyle sadly so not sure how he could claim he needs financial help.
I should explain I am not really able to talk to Sarah.i am closest to Sarah's mother. I have tied to question things but she is wrapped up in it, sadly.