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Dating - The Thread. Come and Share Care and Cheer!

(1000 Posts)
AWarmFuzzyFuture Thu 18-Jul-13 21:04:39

The Rules

1. Develop a thick skin;
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon;
3. It's all BS until it actually happens;
4. Trust your gut instinct;
5. People vanishing, lying and being generally weird to you are not your fault
6. They should be trying to impress you
7. If it's not fun, stop

AWarmFuzzyFuture Wed 31-Jul-13 17:17:01

Oops. Well...I have messaged him, then signed out, I am still a bit confused about it all.

He is goodlooking, 90% match, but only wants a relationship for a couple of months to a year, according to his answers. (FYI: OKCupid unique selling point is the numerous questions/answers around which the 'match' is based)

So not sure he'll reply or anything. But I was temporarily thrilled to have found someone I find attractive. Take to crank up my 'mail a man a day' resolution.

Right, I'll go back and read all the happenings and I will behave....apologiesblush... grin

lurkinglorna Wed 31-Jul-13 17:16:00

smile django

Djangounhinged Wed 31-Jul-13 17:12:52

Uh oh. CBA with Herr, or telling us all about it....? wink

AWarmFuzzyFuture Wed 31-Jul-13 17:09:59

Actually I CBA!

Djangounhinged Wed 31-Jul-13 17:05:28

Aw Lorna, well done for the grown-up-ness! You can walk away (or maybe run away) knowing you did and said the right thing smile

Ok Bant, you're clearly keen to meet Aruba one more time.... Just don't get sucked into something you really , really don't want....

WFF sounds wunderbar grin, more details?

JulietteMontague Wed 31-Jul-13 17:03:17

WFF spill woman.

Bant but you're not looking just to date, you do want to spend your life with someone amazing and if she is not that and she wants kids then what's the point especially if the sex isn't great either? There is a big difference between just dating and being with someone who wants more but knowing that person is not for you. You both deserve someone who does think the other is amazing.

My fridge has broken, bored with trying to fix it and everything else is the house so I have gym kit on as I am committed to the gym above all else hmm

lurkinglorna Wed 31-Jul-13 16:36:57

donner and blitzten! wff. Who is the handsome Herr? grin

Bant Wed 31-Jul-13 16:34:44

Well Aruba has dropped several hints about wanting kids. She's 38 and has none, (although I'm not convinced about being 38) so if I was to see her again we could talk about it.

I may want kids with someone who's amazing and I want to spend my life with, but Aruba's not that. If I'm right, then we talk about it and I say I'm not looking for more DC in the next few years, I'm just looking to date. That takes pressure off, or it causes a split in a 'its not you, it's me' way which has a reasonable explanation rather than 'I just don't like your taste in music'

AWarmFuzzyFuture Wed 31-Jul-13 16:34:41

Hope this isn't in the midst of something...

The eagle has landed, the eagle has landed! I have a German in my sights...

lurkinglorna Wed 31-Jul-13 16:33:48

and also fit boxing guy has offered to show me how to Or "use my guns" as he says, in exchange for yoga lessons from me.

Bit weird confused but I actually do sometimes enjoy the random strange chat on online dating....

lurkinglorna Wed 31-Jul-13 16:30:58

Awww it was actually really nice, bit tearful now?

His e-mail basically says thank you for the explanation, he's sorry we didn't get a chance to sort things out on the spot, and it's a shame not to continue hanging out with someone as elegant as me (so there's an opening there no way you fucking psychopath )

Feel all grown up, a year ago I'd just have "left it" and moved on leaving things awkward with bad feeling?

lurkinglorna Wed 31-Jul-13 16:17:26

thanks OWW and DadfromUncle i'm going in....

OhWesternWind Wed 31-Jul-13 16:10:30

I'd have to read it too Lorna and you have to now so we can all find out what he wants <<nosy>>

DadfromUncle Wed 31-Jul-13 16:01:42

lurkinglorna make a pact that you will read it but not respond under any circumstances whatsover? I couldn't not read it - but that's just me.

JulietteMontague Wed 31-Jul-13 15:37:44

Bant you must have been incredibly polite and kind as Aruba hasn't picked up the signals yet so she may not have a clue. If she thinks it's all ok she may conclude it was a shag and run which would be sad for her so I can see why another date is a good idea. But then you'd have to sleep with her again to see about the sex or if you don't sleep with her she may also take that personally what a minefield.

lurkinglorna Wed 31-Jul-13 15:32:23

shit the european has sent me an e-mail back. I DON'T WANT TO READ IT I THOUGHT IT WAS SORTED confused someone urge me on.

Winefiend Wed 31-Jul-13 15:01:20

OWW I even have folk in Glasgow on with the 'right good' lingo from here. I am now on a mission to get them into the full on 'reyyyyyyyyt good'. It is my party trick when I'm pissed up there. I am bilingual.

Bant I don't know, I think another date is bordering on a little mean really. It's not even a case of you not being that into her, she irritates you, which isn't good. I know if it was me personally, I'd much rather know sooner rather later and if I got an inlking that things were as they stand, I'd be mortified. It kind of seems like delaying the inevitable when she could go off and start dating others (assuming she isn't at the mo).

KinNora Wed 31-Jul-13 14:13:30

Oh no, there's no hope for my lot now OWW they all talk like the cast of Eastenders (slight exaggeration) and are hugely amused by the way I say 'tart'. I'm a failure as a parent.

OhWesternWind Wed 31-Jul-13 14:09:25

Nora had a breakthrough moment with dd this weekend when she said "an' all" at the end of a sentence. Ds has been saying stuff like "This lad did something right funny" for ages (not quite got to the summat stage yet), picked up the accent really quickly when we moved home but dd didn't. There's hope yet!

The worst one is my mum who pretends she doesn't have a northern accent and comes out with all sorts of strangulated vowels. How she says "No" sounds like a cat with digestive problems.

grin at Bant and his whirlpool spa

Flipper what a wazzock.

Bant Wed 31-Jul-13 13:50:24

I'm going to give it one more date with Aruba, for several reasons:
She's said she'll stop sending me Craig David songs
First time sex is rarely amazing, maybe she'll swing from the chandeliers next time
I always say I'm looking for someone quirky and passionate: she's both, it's just that I think we don't share the quirks and passions
She is sweet and attractive and into me.

I know I want the click when I meet someone. Aruba was the strongest click from an OD date since buffy, and probably I've only had 4 clicks in 25 first dates.

I'm not sure if being Hungarian is the problem, although poor English is. If I only date British women in Hungaria, I've got a pool of 10 or so to choose from - I've only seen 2 on OD sites.

DadfromUncle Wed 31-Jul-13 13:44:05

thanks for the welcome Flipper

KinNora Wed 31-Jul-13 13:43:09

Juliette fortunately for my fellow passengers in the quiet coach that clip wouldn't play, it would have been LOL central

KinNora Wed 31-Jul-13 13:38:27

Good to hear that Dad, especially as my traitorous offspring are all about the 'barrrrrth' and the 'grarrrrrrrrse' .

Hello Flipper , is Poshboy a bit of a berk ?

Djangounhinged Wed 31-Jul-13 13:37:23

You know all of the above makes sense Bant. Stop it now, before she really ups the Craig David ante, and open yourself up to new possibilities elsewhere ;)

Bant Wed 31-Jul-13 13:34:54

I'm a pretentious younger bloke, so I pronounce it 'jack-oo-zee'

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