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DH is very angry and very miserable all the time

(28 Posts)
Chewyrad Thu 18-Jul-13 06:46:53

It really gets me down. It is too much.

I read about other partners on here, and people say it is a good sign if an angry partner is angry with everyone so I will say that mine is.

I am often having to apologise for him, in shops and restaurants, when he finds something isn't up to standard he gets cross with people, often ones who couldn't have done anything about the thing anyway. He argues with his boss and his parents, everyone. I am there placating.

the other half of the problem is that he is so negative. Everything is a fucking this, a cunting that. He is the kitchen already today angry at inanimate objects, or the fact that he can't find something, or that something is dirty when he wants to use it.

He always sees the worst possible reason for things, or the worst answer, saying i have unpleasant motives when I don't.

He uses worse language than necessary, food he doesn't like is always described as shit, even if I am eating it at the time!

We are having a baby. The name I come up with is stupid or ridiculous, or painfully pretentious or embarrassingly aspirational, or incredibly middle class or it sounds like an ironic joke. He makes me feel ashamed of suggesting the names, so, I feel I were being a nasty snob, when really all I am saying is do you think Alexandra sounds nice? Is that normal?

He talks to the baby as if it is a pain in the neck already, telling him/her off for me being tired or ill a few weeks ago and in a firm voice, not a kind jokey voice. He says dont be like this when you are born.

I am very drained in my own home by the temper and the negativity. I don't know how things became this way. Is there anything I can do?

Does it sound like I am being hormonal and sensitive or are these bad things?

dreamingbohemian Thu 18-Jul-13 16:14:18

This man is abusive and I can't imagine why you would want to stay with him or let him near your child. I'm sorry if that's harsh but seriously, do not waste your life on this man or subject your poor baby to him.

greeneyed Thu 18-Jul-13 16:16:13

Ditto what frizz says my father was a dark and scary presence in our house and I never felt safe as a child. That changes you forever

TalkativeJim Thu 18-Jul-13 16:27:19

So you have not actually been with this guy very long. You haven't even known him for a year and a half.

That's not long enough to know what someone is really like. Sadly I think that 'funny man' or not, what you are seeing here is what this man is really like. Aggressive, angry, unreasonable, unkind.

So did he sweep you off your feet? Married within less than a year, pregnant a couple of months later? That's a red flag. Why? Because a man who knows no sane woman would stay with him when she gets the measure of him wants a ring on the finger and a baby on the way asap, to make it harder for her to leave.

You need to have a good think. Most of all because showing anger and impatience towards your unborn baby is a bad, bad, bad sign.

Relationships can sometimes be hard work. In the honeymoon period, they shouldn't be. That's where you should be. Instead you live with a cursing, steaming monster.

Babies ARE hard work. Having a baby IS stressful. You need love, reasonableness, a sense of humour and a supportive relationship on your side. It's VERY hard otherwise.

If he's like this now, I fear for what he would be like when the baby is here. Especially as he already sees it as yet another 'thing' sent to be a thorn in his side, rather than his precious child.

It only takes a flash of anger and a shake to permanently injure a baby.
I wouldn't want to share a home with a man like this.
Nothing you have done has caused this, so nothing you can do will fix it.

I would think hard about leaving.

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