If you were to pass on just one piece of relationship advice to your DC....

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

... distilled from your own experience, observation, or what you've read on MN and elsewhere, What would it be?

On balance, I think mine would be 'be yourself' in the sense of ... be very wary of getting together with anyone for whom you feel you have to change personality or who openly wants you to behave differently in order for them to love you. If they don't love you for yourself, move swiftly along.

[Madamecastafiore]

Treat your partner in the same manor which you would expect to be treated - learn not to raise your voice or use profanities or unkind words.

[Vickibee]

they wouldn't take any notice!

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Kids not taking any notice of the wrinklies is a given Vickibee.... :) But it's nice to theorise.

[HotDAMNlifeisgood]

You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. (Treat others with kindness and respect too, obviously. But just make sure that YOU are receiving the respect you deserve)

Don't waste time and energy on people who only have one toe in the relationship, but keep you dangling anyway for their own convenience or their own messed up reasons. Again, you deserve better than that. Walk on.

[flipchart]

Be like your dad and you won't go far wrong.

[BabCNesbitt]

I'm not sure that I would have taken any words of advice from my mother about relationships because for decades my parents have provided a model of exactly what I don't want a relationship to be. I'd just be open to giving advice if asked, and otherwise try (with DH!) to provide an example of what a decent relationship might look like. (NB not a perfect one - seeing how disputes can be resolved reasonably calmly and how people can make up without sulking for days or bitching about each other to the DC also helpful!)

[amessageforyouYoni]

Dont take advice unsolicited advice on relationships from people

[lurkingfromhome]

Don't put up with any behaviour from a partner that you wouldn't from a platonic friend, family member, colleague or random stranger. Your partner should be the one who treats you better than anyone else.

And, conversely, don't treat your partner with any less respect than you would show to a platonic friend, family member, colleague or random stranger. Be kind.

[exexpat]

I think I'd say pretty much what you'd say, Cogito. Certainly it's what I realised about my own relationships.

[OddSockMonster]

Be kind to others and know that you deserve the same back. Don't lie, respect others' feelings, and know you have the right to truth and respect back.

[PlainOldVanilla]

To never let any one make you feel like your not good enough the way you are.

[MulliganandOHare]

Be unlike your dad and you won't go far wrong...

Do the right thing.

Don't be too concerned with what you think other people think about you.

[NoComet]

I'd pass on my DDad's "humans are programmed to fall in love, make sure you like the person first"

[worldgonecrazy]

The first time he scares you or you feel physically threatened, leave, walk away, run as fast as you can.

For some reason, this lesson seems to be one learned in later life. I certainly wouldn't tolerate the behaviour of several of my exes nowadays.

[PeppermintPasty]

I would say, don't imagine that you can "fix" someone, they are what they are. Don't hang on like grim death ignoring your gut instincts.

[Poledra]

If you're planning to have children with a man, look very carefully at the size of his head.

I'm too late with that one for my DDs - they all inherited their father's bonce

[chamonixlover]

don't have children, I wish I hadn't

[Poledra]

Sorry, have posted frivolously on a serious thread. My apologies.

[HeadFairy]

Treat your partner in exactly the same way you wish to be treated. Actually that's not a bad philosophy for life in general.

[RabbitFromAHat]

Always have enough money of your own to walk away.

[ShatterResistant]

My mum has spent my entire life giving me excellent relationship advice. It's only now that I am happily married that I realise she was right all along! I will be telling my (5 month old) daughter that if you have to work at it less than 2 years in, it's almost certainly not worth the effort.

[worsestershiresauce]

Talk, don't accuse. Finger pointing causes arguments, but talking, sharing, and being kind about it saves relationships.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Wasn't necessarily a serious thread Poledra :) The head-size thing is something I wish I'd paid attention to.

[VodkaJelly]

Always earn your own money, never ever become finacially dependent on another person.

[redrubyshoes]

"If you are in trouble I will fight tooth and nail to help you. If I find out you caused the trouble and lied I will make sure you will never forget my wrath and I will drag you round to apologise to each and every person". DD learnt this lesson very early on.



Learnt from my Mum who always waded in with teachers/parents/neighbours/friends to defend my brother who was a little shit and watching Mum making a total idiot of herself over and over again when she believed his lies.