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DP just said his balls HURT if....

(36 Posts)
NeedSomeSun142 Sun 14-Jul-13 11:20:29

he doesn't have a wank at least twice a day?!?!

I mean WTF, he goes on to complain about the lack of sex in the past 3months. I then had to point out the fact that I had a baby 6 WEEKS ago and obviously before that was heavily pregnant!

I did have to laugh when he said his balls hurt, but twice a day?? really??

MortifiedAdams Sun 14-Jul-13 11:24:58

Meh....Id just say "well, get on with it then".

Presumambly pre kids you didnt have sex twice a day so if he needs to do that that frequently, hed be having a wank sex or no sex, at least once a day.

Dont have sex til you feel ready. Youve just pushed a human out of your fanjo!

Lweji Sun 14-Jul-13 11:25:37

Is that a problem for you? His wanking?

Did he complain properly or just said that he hadn't had any?

theorchardkeeper Sun 14-Jul-13 11:29:24

DO NOT have sex until you feel ready or you'll feel hurt and resentful. I hope he's not actually pressuring you? hmm

And as for the wanking...great! Saves you the bloody hassle whilst you look after the baby you only just popped out of your poor fanjo! thanks

burberryqueen Sun 14-Jul-13 11:32:08

most men are wankers IME I doubt your hubby is an exception

DelayedActionMouseMaker Sun 14-Jul-13 11:33:05

How old is he! 12? Tell him to grow up.

NeedSomeSun142 Sun 14-Jul-13 11:35:08

no im not hurt finding it quite laughable really, but I find it hard to believe that his balls hurt if he doesn't keep his 'routine' up.

no he's not pressuring me at all we were just having a debate about the amount of porn he watches. The only thing that bothers me about that is the bill we've just had for the internet!!

can balls hurt if they are 'full'? I thought It was a sort of myth

LIZS Sun 14-Jul-13 11:36:01

sounds like a load of ... to me !

monkeyfacegrace Sun 14-Jul-13 11:38:47

Why is he paying for porn?

That would be my gripe grin

Otherwise let him crack on.

HeySoulSister Sun 14-Jul-13 11:40:46

What bill for the Internet?

Trills Sun 14-Jul-13 11:41:49

Balls don't get full.

Lweji Sun 14-Jul-13 11:43:31

My ex never complained about pain in his balls although he was a pain in the neck.

He may feel something, I suppose, when he gets aroused.

I'd get upset about the cost, though.

theorchardkeeper Sun 14-Jul-13 11:46:15

err if his porn habit is costing you then that's an issue.

Literally spunking money up the wall isn't on. imagination is underrated these days

Glad he's not pressuring you though.

Also, he's either making it up or ill so basically it's a fib

karinmaria Sun 14-Jul-13 11:48:13

Oh god. My DH said something similar a few weeks after I'd given birth, I took it badly and looked up to see him shaking with laughter! He was joking - balls can't get full as the body re absorbs any semen that is left in there. DH still laughs about it as I was so gullible...

If he's downloading loads of porn he needs to do two things though:
1) change your broadband package to one with no download limit (think Sky has this?)
2) get busier and do more around the house and with the baby. Tbh he shouldn't have time to search for, download and wank to porn twice a day when he's got a six week old baby!

Lweji Sun 14-Jul-13 11:54:12

Also, if he's that desperate, does he really need porn? hmm

wundawoman Sun 14-Jul-13 12:03:04

Burberryqueen grin !!!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Jul-13 12:40:42

Leaving aside the dubious morality of wasting family money downloading porn for a second... he must be utterly self-absorbed and completely thick to talk about PAIN to a woman that only gave birth a few weeks ago.

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom Sun 14-Jul-13 12:43:08

If he's finding time to wank that much and download that much porn, he's not pulling his weight with the new baby. He shouldn't have that much time on his hands <bad pun alert>

He sounds rather self absorbed and immature TBH. Is he generally?

And it's bollocks.

CoalDustWoman Sun 14-Jul-13 12:45:39

You shoud do your best concerned face and suggest he goes to the doctors.

he sounds like a twat!

dh says balls dont hurt.

why are you getting internet charges? how much is he watching? is he paying for porn? that would be an issue for me (not the watching... but the paying)

NeedSomeSun142 Sun 14-Jul-13 15:27:07

it costs for how much internet used, he's gone over our limit by watching videos online!!!

he's paid for the bill.

tbh it was the comment about his balls hurting if he doesn't get rid of the excess.

so it's a load of bollox then. OH is adamant it's a true fact!!! still now he he is saying its true

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 14-Jul-13 15:52:42

Send him to the doctor. He may have a congested prostate.

YouSirName Sun 14-Jul-13 15:54:24

Can't pretend to know what the pains of childbirth are like but can confirm that men do occasionally get DSB but it passes in a matter of hours (and is only brought on by serious arousal).

Quit the porn and the problem will disappear. Not being able to quit it maybe the next bridge to cross.

Hope it all goes well

if he really is getting pain like he describes.... then he needs to see a doctor. it wont be for the reasons he's saying though... because, quite frankly, its bollocks grin

k2togm1 Sun 14-Jul-13 16:20:55

Tell him it'll go away, after three months he'll also notice a decline in his libido wink only to have to find his swing back at 6 months if he is lucky.
And get a no limit broadband connection.

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