Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

the old 'strip club' issue

(57 Posts)
theorchardkeeper Mon 01-Jul-13 12:56:00

Ok, so having read enough threads where women hadn't aired their views on strip clubs and then been upset that their partner had been to one I asked DP ages ago about his views, told him mine and thought we were pretty much agreed they were neither of our cups of tea. (I told him I'd purposefully not go on a night out if i knew in advance of a planned visit/would leave beforehand as I disagree with them so much).

He told me of an upcoming stag do that he thought sounded pants and was basically just strip clubs & a pub crawl in another town and said he's not going. Fine so far...I then mentioned something along the lines of 'yeah, sounds a bit dull, plus s'clubs aren't your cup of tea anyway are they'?

He then said what about when his BF gets married/other stag dos come up that he feels he should go to that involve them?

I just can't make myself ok with it. Whether it's male/female strippers. It's not insecurity, it just goes against my grain completely. I can see the appeal for people but i'd find the whole thing depressing & sleazey tbh & couldn't fully respect DP if he went to one.

I know that sounds OTT but it's just so ugh for me and a total turn off if someone finds it a turn on.

What should I say to him that doesn't sound controlling and insecure?
WIBU to just say 'look, you know how I feel about them and if you couldn't manage to leave before it got to the strip club or not go then I just can't be ok with that'?

I thought we were clear on it, which is what's pissed me off. I don't want this to be a deal breaker but it just is hmm

(In fairness he did say he had a friend that had a lap dance and the whole thing was depressing, he also said he'd never pay for a lap dance, full stop).

theorchardkeeper Mon 01-Jul-13 22:23:30

Went really well.

He wouldn't go now we've talked and I've said what I said here basically.

I believe he was being genuine smile

AnyFucker Mon 01-Jul-13 22:25:39

Then that is all you can do.

Well done you, and a feministy pat on the back for him smile

AnyFucker Mon 01-Jul-13 22:25:54

You were crystal yes ?

theorchardkeeper Mon 01-Jul-13 22:29:44


Said it would be a dealbreaker as the repercussions were likely to make it so and a lot of the points I said on here smile

Feel much better about my ability to judge people's character too tbh...Was a bit hmm shock when that last conversation happened!

AnyFucker Mon 01-Jul-13 22:33:08

He was probably just thoughtless, rather than anything else

You keep him on his toes wink

theorchardkeeper Mon 01-Jul-13 22:36:39

I believe so af

Thanks for all the advice smile

AnyFucker Mon 01-Jul-13 22:37:33

I like the happy outcomes smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now