I've finally done it.
It was eating me up inside.
How could I continue to live my life angry at people who seemed to be skipping along in life, while my memories blackened my mind, my outlook and my life endlessly.
My dad is on his death bed. He and his family were cut out of my life. I finally met him 3 years ago and he is about to die. My mother knew where he lived - she even remembered the telephone number and address, but lied and said that she didn't know any information. His family are all university educated, married, home owners - etc. My mothers family are all alcoholics, druggies, abusers, neglectors, abandoners, lower class benefit professors - etc. I was robbed of a functional family. This has spurred me on to report all of the bastards, inclusive of her.
May sound bitter, but bitter I am. The only one in my family to speak out about the emotional, physical, sexual abuse, neglect and continuous abandonment. I am the black sheep for speaking/acting out and the black sheep I shall continue to be for taking a stand. I am nothing like them.
It is not alright that my mother contacts me to share how her and her brother reminisced about the past with a smile and a laugh. A smile and a laugh about a conversation her brother had with their father on his recent birthday. The very same father that abused them all sexually and neglected them to the point whereby their neglect and abuse filtered through to the lives of their own children. It is also not right that my mother contacts me to tell me about her mother - the very same mother who ran off and left her kids to be sexually abused and neglected, while she shacked up with a new man in another town. I don?t want to know, nor be associated with these kinds of people.
This lack of foresight; this lack of logic. This lack of a culpable brain is making my fucking brain melt and I can no longer pretend that everything is alright with continuing contact with my mother. If I continue a relationship with her, I am welcoming my main abuser into my life and home. I can no longer be a hypocrite. Everyone of them has to be subject to the same level of hatred, across the board.
The members of my ex-family who accept their abuse and continue to entwine themselves in that cesspit of a family continually attack me, any which way they can. The death threats don't phase me at all. I guess I can thank my coping mechanisms for that.
I refuse to welcome people who abuse and neglect other people. I also refuse to welcome people who turn a blind eye to such abuse. I also refuse to welcome people who try to patch up/cover up said abuse.
In my minds eye, their necks have been slit and they are already dead - to me that is. My mind is an extremely noir place to be.
I dont post much, so I guess just getting it out there helps.
P.S. You can make a report of historical sexual/physical/emotional abuse and/or neglect via NSPCC. They will forward your report onto the police, who will then contact you to take it further - that is if you wish to.
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I've Reported My Abusers
samsungsing · 30/06/2013 15:14
Wow... Well had an off the cuff talk with 'the woman who opened her legs to let me out' about my childhood just now and she is denying everything. She has obviously spoken to someone regarding this and now has changed her tune, forgotten relevant information (given to her only 2 weeks ago) and is siding with her version of events - even though she cant remember me reporting abuse to her over a 10 year span 
A pattern that I have noticed with her her behaviour over the years.
In my report, I have suggested and urged that her mental state is looked over, as there are serious red flags. Plus - as she is in contact with small children, things have to be looked into quite speedily.
I shall update when an outcome has been obtained.
Well done. I admire your strength. You have done the right thing. All abusers should be accountable IMO.
Stay strong 
You are at the angry stage right now.
I should imagine that there are a lot of stages to go through with all of this.
I would say, meanwhile, to not stop thinking about your dad at this time 
Thank you all for your kind words. I really appreciate (and do take on board) those words.
Bedtime1 I am seeing a qualified psychiatrist, who specialises in traumatic childhoods. She diagnosed me (correctly with PTSD) and has worked in this specific field for well over 15 years. A diamond. She is unfortunately leaving the service next week 
. I am not sure on the protocol of supplying names on this website.
She has given me the task (of course with her guidance) of choosing what kind of therapy I would like to continue with after her departure. I have no clue there, so will have to research on the net before our next meeting.
yams Yes. I continue to think about my dad and that is what is making my anger worse. I do not misplace anger, so am not taking it out on anyone in my household. It just burns me up inside. I guess that is the problem - I internalise things so much that it poisons my insides a shade of black. I guess the anger will pass given time.
Thanks again everyone
yeah and at least you've let it all out, and not kept it all inside eating you up anymore
and thhats a big thing
really well done
pleased for you
hopefully this will be a new start for you xx
Many thanks whiteandyellowiris I cant wait for a new start. Am tired of this old life.
CailinDana I work in the legal field, so more the fool them for leaving me with evidence, both written (facebook messages) and verbal (voicemails). They all know this, yet feel at ease with threatening me continually. They are awfully slow 
emmelinelucas many thanks for your well wishes. It's such a shame that they cannot be reprimanded. I sometimes wish that I had grown up in present times, as there is no way in hell I/we would have been left with my mother in those conditions. he is still allowed access? See this is why I have had a change of heart about my career in law. The more I work in (and study) law, the more it repulses me. These fallacies are too great.
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