Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Unwanted and inappropriate crush!

(8 Posts)
Greenergreenergrass Fri 28-Jun-13 21:48:03

I have developed a massive crush on DD's school teacher. I'm married, but relationship with DH resembles that of a housemate; we don't sleep together, never touch, we get on OK, he's great with the kids. He's not really interested in my thoughts/feelings or conversation about anything much other than the kids/running the house/sport. He shows no sign that this is anything other than fine by him. I liked the teacher, and I had crush-like feelings under control until he asked me to help at a school event. He asked so nicely (the nicest thing anyone had said to me in ages!), that I now have an embarrassing out of control crush, which I need to get rid of. DD gets on extremely well with the teacher and he's giving her extra help in an area she finds difficult (his idea). I don't know how to get this crush out of my head, its affecting my sleep, and I want it to stop. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

SuckAtRelationships Fri 28-Jun-13 22:17:46

AS you can see by my nn..... butt shouldn't you be talking to your DH about your relationship? If you are no longer sexual partners but happy in your arrangement maybe you could agree to have outlets elsewhere? That situation doesn't sound fair on anyone. Surely you need to sort that out first?

scaevola Fri 28-Jun-13 22:21:23

Keep it strictly in your head (mortifying for DD otherwise) and let it wane over the summer holidays. In the new school year, DD will have a different teacher and you won't have any dealings with this one.

And it's a wake up call that you need to work on your marriage.

Pinkdaisy4 Fri 28-Jun-13 22:47:05

Having a crush is one thing but acting on it is another.

Infatuation will pass. I've had mad crushes on blokes when now ex h were having ishoos ( not the reason we split) . The need for excitement etc but, is 30 seconds of horizontal jogging worth losing your home / self respect? Not to mention the effect on dd.

MrsLion Sat 29-Jun-13 02:36:49

I have had a few crushes since being happily married. Totally normal, we're all human.
As long as you dont act on it in any way, they usually just pass.
Imagining yourself cleaning their skidmarks off the toilet seems to help!

The main thing for you is that rather than being a little bit of excitement on top of your marriage, it's actually filling a very real hole.

Your marriage is not making you as happy as you should be, and you need to work through this with your dh. You deserve to feel excitement and desire from your dh. 

Lweji Sat 29-Jun-13 07:02:39

I did, but not this badly, and my marriage was not great either.

I think you need to think carefully about your marriage and if it can get better.
Have you chatted with your H about it?
Maybe he's not that happy either.

This crush at this stage sounds like a warning sign. You were flattered by the way he talked nicely to you. Your H doesn't?

Definitely address your marriage and decide if you want it or not, before allowing yourself to get drawn into another man.

Wideboy Sat 29-Jun-13 07:21:45

Unfortunate choice of words there, Mrs Lion!

MrsLion Sun 30-Jun-13 00:12:23

grin and blush

Metaphorical hole, wideboy, metaphorical!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: