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Post-split: Evidence of cheating while we were together -WWYD?

(62 Posts)
MsWinnieBaygo Tue 25-Jun-13 16:24:11

A bit of advice/common sense needed please - I know this issue is nothing in comparison to what some of you have had to go through as me & exDP weren't married, no DCs, only together for a year (meant to be exclusive) and split up - at his instigation - a few months ago.

He dumped me a few months ago - I was upset though deep down knew it was for the best and it wasn't going to go anywhere. I wanted to go no contact but about 6 weeks after finishing things he gets in contact with a friendly message, still texts and emails a few times a week and states that he misses me, regrets his decision etc. I have ignored the last couple of messages as telling him I don't want to be friends seems to make no difference and I'm past the stage where I want to get back with him. I did think we could actually maybe now be friends but ...

I idly googled a user name last night that he uses for something else and came across a least 5 adult sex & webcamming sites that he has been on since 2010 - recently using them and evidence seems to indicate that he was using them whilst we were together. They are definitely him and have some pretty disgusting and identifiable photos and videos of him. Some profiles state he has a girlfriend so he only interested in webcamming and sexy chat other profiles state that he is single and looking for adult meets.

Obviously what he has done/is doing since we split up is none of my business but it hurts and angers me that he was doing this when we were together and spinning me a pack of lies. Especially as he is trying so hard now to be my 'friend' with his nicey nice emails and texts

He's in the past, I see him for the pathetic twat that he is, I do pretty much believe that this is as a result of his issues rather than any reflection on me. I guess my question is, do I:

A) Confront him now via email or text, with or without screenshots of the information that I have, that he is a lying cheating creep who used webcams while with me and god knows what else
B) As above, though wait until he contacts me with a text or email again first, which I'm pretty sure the pathetic player will do.
C) Do nothing and ignore and delete any future attempts at contact from him

If A or B - how do I do this without seeming like a crazy psycho Internet stalker?

I'm not wanting an apology or to listen to any of the bullshit that comes out of his mouth. I want him to know I know but have my dignity intact. Not even sure why I want him to know that I know. I just can't believe he treated me like such an idiot and I put my trust in him

Thanks for reading and cast your votes people - option A,B or C?

fromparistoberlin Fri 28-Jun-13 17:13:39


hard, but the best! its OVER

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Fri 28-Jun-13 17:25:39

A policeman? if he carries on, report him.

SignoraStronza Fri 28-Jun-13 17:58:33

A policeman you say? A few choice wankytodger pics with his head (both of them) clearly visible to be posted in a strategic somewhere his colleagues might see and rip him to shreds place could be rather amusing. If you're feeling evil. grin

MsWinnieBaygo Fri 28-Jun-13 18:03:27

Am starting to feel slightly evil as got another text from him about 10 min ago despite ignoring yesterday's communication & his earlier email. Time to start composing the 'fuck off you perverted twat' message I think.

BOF Fri 28-Jun-13 18:33:45


Keep ignoring him.

Lizzabadger Fri 28-Jun-13 21:07:04

Don't send a message. Just ignore. He will get bored eventually.

Lizzabadger Fri 28-Jun-13 21:10:39

P.S. His messages are likely to escalate initially to try to get a response out of you (it's called an "extinction burst") but then they WILL stop, provided you ignore consistently. Behavioural psychology, innit.

ProphetOfDoom Fri 28-Jun-13 21:17:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsWinnieBaygo Mon 01-Jul-13 19:33:26

Update of sorts:

Well after getting yet more emails & texts I went against most of the advice on here and in a moment of madness decided to send a response stating that I know everything & I'm not friends with liars blah blah. Not exactly cutting & I couldn't be arsed hurling insults.

Wasn't particularly expecting a response so was slightly surprised to get this by email today:

'Well I hope someone tells me everything 'cos I haven't got a clue what you're referring to. You're talking rubbish and I've done nothing wrong'

I wasn't expecting a confession but the above just made me roll my eyes at the knob. Have deleted and not in the slightest bit tempted to respond so I guess his pathetic response has helped provide final closure!

Twat grin

ProphetOfDoom Mon 01-Jul-13 20:11:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DistanceCall Mon 01-Jul-13 20:20:46

Send picture with the caption "Fuck off or else" if he persists. Then nothing, ever again.

Although I doubt you will hear from him after that.

MsWinnieBaygo Mon 01-Jul-13 20:41:32

Yep Matilda - that was my main concern about sending him a message - that he'd think I was a crazy stalker type. Ah well, it's done now & I want nothing more to do with him

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