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Ok i'm a bit 'what do i do hre

(23 Posts)
SodaStreamy Fri 21-Jun-13 22:18:15

I have had an on off thing with a guy for a while

We alked tonight and I said well If you are interested youl'll come round

He says he is on his way?

Do I clean the house and put new bed clothes on , or did I jut pull his bluff

No kids here tonight just me

StuffezLaYoni Fri 21-Jun-13 22:30:31

You can't win this one. If you do make an effort he won't turn up and you'll feel sad and pathetic. If you don't, he will definitely turn up and you'll be kicking yourself.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Fri 21-Jun-13 22:33:48

I would lounge in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. If he does show up your warm, clean and appealingly dishevelled. If he doesn't, you've had a lovely bath.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Fri 21-Jun-13 22:34:43


InkleWinkle Fri 21-Jun-13 22:44:32

Agree with Tondelayo ^

Although he may be there with you by now?!

Diagonally Sat 22-Jun-13 11:08:43

Did he show OP?

On a general note, casual does not equal unreliable.

I have a rule that even if I am seeing someone just occasionally and there is no / little emotional commitment, when we DO arrange to get together I expect them to turn up, and on time, too.

I'd only go to the bother of getting ready / tidying etc for someone I knew I could rely on.

No second chances and absolutely no mind games.

inneedofrain Sat 22-Jun-13 11:15:05

Well did he turn up!

Come on you have to tell us!

I´m with Diagonally on this sort of thing

SodaStreamy Mon 24-Jun-13 11:37:08

He turned up smile

InkleWinkle Mon 24-Jun-13 15:57:42

What kind of an update is that??

Diagonally Mon 24-Jun-13 17:12:55

He he, perhaps he's only just left?

AnyFucker Mon 24-Jun-13 17:22:16

Why would you doubt him turning up when he categorically said he was on his way ?

There is a difference between a "casual" relationship and having the piss taken out of you

SodaStreamy Wed 26-Jun-13 03:36:30

yes there is

Ive now become technically disabled and a bit fat due to antidepressants so feeling a bit crap about myself

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 06:36:46

Is this kind of relationship (or this kind of man) a very good idea for you at the moment ?

SodaStreamy Wed 26-Jun-13 12:40:43

well I don't know anyfucker, I ask myself this but never have a definative answer.

My life has changed so much and in a way it's good to have him there.

He sort of knows how I have changed and knows the 'old' me.

I like him but it won't be the love of my life, but I don't think I will ever have another love of life , I'm annoyed with myself for becoming disabled (I know that sounds weird but I'm not sure how to explain it) and fat

We did not have sex the other night because for the first time ever in my life I don't want to get undressed and be naked in front of someone

Yes this are my issues and yes I will find a way to deal with them but I'm just not sure how I actually do that

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 14:07:44

You sound like you are grateful for any crumbs

that is not a healthy place to be

maras2 Wed 26-Jun-13 14:40:18

I hope it wasn't the heroin smoker,Soda.

SodaStreamy Wed 26-Jun-13 16:01:45

well perhaps

Crumbs are at least something

I don't know what do or think?

He came round on Friday so I'm a bit 'yeah he came round me am desirable'

I just want in all honety to find someone again . I'm lonely now having essesential been on my own for 8 years

My DP/Df commited suicide and I just have this inbuilt thing now that prevents me from meeting or enjoying anyone new, because in the back of my mind If aI like them they will die

My dad died when I was 17 and mum when I was 30, then my 'partner' commited suicide maybe its its me ...everyone I know and loves dies ergo I should not love anyone else because they will properly die

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 16:33:57

I think you need some help with those thought processes, love

More help than MN can give you x

SodaStreamy Wed 26-Jun-13 17:50:40

ok thank you

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 20:55:00

aww sweetheart

have you got any RL support ? (and I don't mean your flake of a will he/won't he grace us with his presence boyf)

SodaStreamy Wed 26-Jun-13 21:39:55

no , no I don't

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 21:44:33

I am sorry x. Even more reason not to rely so much on a bloke that is a bit crap.

SacreBlue Wed 26-Jun-13 22:00:40

I'd suggest approaching your GP and ask about some talking therapy, either 121 or even better in a group. Yes it can takes ages - months or over a year but it would help you work through the feelings you have about what happened in the past and how that is impacting on relationships now.

I don't imagine 'casual and unreliable' are going to do any thing good for how you feel about yourself right now or about relationships in general - and I'd say that about friendships alone never mind introducing sex and how you are feeling physically into the mix.

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