Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Do I contact my niece on her birthday?

(14 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Fri 21-Jun-13 09:35:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Numberlock Fri 21-Jun-13 09:37:43

You send the message to the niece and leave your husband to decide what he does about contacting his sister.

MrsWolowitz Fri 21-Jun-13 09:44:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Numberlock Fri 21-Jun-13 09:50:18

Just a post on FB then, see how/if she responds.

iheartdusty Fri 21-Jun-13 09:58:35

text DN if she has her own phone and/or post birthday card to DN,
FB post for SIL the following week if anything at all.

seems harsh for DN as she may never know if you just send a FB post and she doesn't get to see it.

MrsWolowitz Fri 21-Jun-13 10:00:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Numberlock Fri 21-Jun-13 10:08:55

I think you need to let it go then. Acknowledge birthdays and Christmas to keep contact open for the future, especially with niece, but why open yourselves up for abuse? She doesn't enhance your lives in any way and just because she's family doesn't mean you have to put up with it.

What do your in-laws make of it all?

MrsWolowitz Fri 21-Jun-13 10:18:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Numberlock Fri 21-Jun-13 10:38:08

So she's your husband's sister then? Yes he wants to do the right thing by his mum but keeping in touch can mean lots of things and in his shoes I'd interpret it as birthday and Christmas cards only. Maintain contact with the niece as you'll be able to see her on her own at some point.

The SIL really isn't worth this level of anguish. How does her husband handle her?

DorisShutt Fri 21-Jun-13 10:44:47

Birthday cards and Christmas cards with polite, non-committal messages as you would to an acquaintance for SIL.

Niece more friendly, happy cards as you say you wish to maintain her relationship.

Then just wait and see.

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 21-Jun-13 10:50:06

His sister is unlikely to change; this is who she is. You would not tolerate this from a friend; family are truly no different.

Would not have any forms of communications at all with these people. Your niece I would think hardly knows you anyway and who knows what rubbish her head has been filled with regarding you two.

Rosa Fri 21-Jun-13 10:53:41

I would say a card then they don't have to respond. Simple message .
For the niece card / voucher if you are on that level addressed to her . Seems that your dh wants to be normal so let him be the ' superior one' and act as a normal human being would.

Scruffey Fri 21-Jun-13 11:04:43

Card in the post is most painless I think

BIWI Fri 21-Jun-13 11:09:12

Just send a card.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now