So the story is like this: I haven´t been in a relationship for more than 3 years now (btw no kids or divorce involved), just casually dating but never met someone for something more serious and someone I could actually like enough. Up until now - I met a lovely guy about 3 weeks ago and we have been seeing each other since then. The problem is he told me straight away that he was not looking for a serious relationship and that he wouldnt want to lead me on - I asked if that means I should treat this as fun only and he said yes. But he doesn´t act like it at all (I am comparing him to all the other guys that I met who were just looking for fun) - he plans our dates very carefully with interesting stuff to do on them (going to special places with romantic views, teaching me rock climbing, etc., not only the usual dinner and drinks) and he is very sweet with me, cuddles me, strokes my hair, gives me compliments....which basically leaves me a bit confused, his words compared to his actions. I like him a lot and I could totally fall for him and the chemistry is there as well.
That brings me to the second problem: he stayed over at mine for the night after the first date already (but no sex, just kisses and cuddles), then after our last date we had sex...well, tried to - as it turned out, while he is very good at all the other things in sex, he has erectile problems...he was apologizing over and over again for it. Then it dawned on me that maybe this and the "I am not looking for a relationship" is somehow connected - perhaps he thinks no girl would want him with this problem, or perhaps he has some horrible experience from past relationship.... I am too shy to ask him (although hopefully I will when the mood is right) as we are still at early stages of getting to know each other and we talk mostly about just "fun stuff" since we are not supposed to be a relationship as he said.
I guess what I am asking is, does my thinking make any sense? Is it likely that he actually likes me a lot but is shy or insecure and so pretends to play it cool just to protect himself? Should I attempt to have a "talk" anytime soon or should I just take it easy and let it be for a bit?
Also, about this erectile problem - I have totally no idea how to handle this sensitively. Attempt to discuss it, try whatever I can think of in bed (I tried also what he asked me to do but it didnt work :( or again let it be for a while and relax?¨
Thank you sooo much for any opinions...I am just confused at this point (apart from thinking that my relationships never go easy - that I know for sure)
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Relationships
complicated new man
evuscha · 20/06/2013 19:04
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