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Is it ok to have casual sex?

(51 Posts)
secondchances Thu 20-Jun-13 17:43:39

I've recently come out of a difficult relationship and struggled to come to terms at first with what exactly an abusive relationship is. With help & support from close friends and family i saw the light and began a life as a single mum.

Here's where the trouble begins. I've met someone via a work friend & he's really lovely. Now i know at first they all are lovely then they become comfortable and that all changes, but i've known of him for around 2 years but never had the chance to actually KNOW him IYSWIM. Problem is after many chats, cups of coffee & lunches we've become a lot closer. I always have found him attractive but never acted on it. We've been discussing what we want with regards to our love lives. I dont want a relationship yet, i dont think i should hop into being a girlfriend. I'd like some time to be on my own but still like to have someone to be intimate with but nothing attached. He would like to have a no strings relationship & understands if it does look likely to become anything more and im not ready then we would need to step back a little and just be friendly with eachother. What i'm asking is is it ok to have casual sex? We wouldnt be shouting it from the rooftops. No one else need know. But i dont want to come across as a "slag" i guess.

secondchances Sat 22-Jun-13 15:39:48

We did discuss in more detail last night about scenarios where it could become a problem and he was very honest with me. He said if he started having stronger feelings he'd say because he's not the type to hide it and I said if it turns out that the feelings are strong on one side but not the other are you prepared to back off? He said it'd take time to get used to and it'd be hard but yes if it meant that it didn't cause problems, arguments or distress on the other side. I think that was the main one for us. He knows I don't want a relationship yet but am happy to be in his company and he does make me smile.

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