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He's left me

(32 Posts)
Ls271082 Sun 16-Jun-13 12:42:48

Hi guys,

I posted about a month ago regarding my ex leaving me -

My bf off a year and half has just left me stating I can't give him what he needs and gone back to his ex wife. By this he means talking to my ex husband (who I was married to previously for 4 years) about selling the house we own together. He says I've never picked him over my ex and I've begged and pleaded with him, saying I love him, it's him I want and I will have the conversation when I'm ready. But it's not enough. I told him I haven't done it yet because of pregnancy (25weeks) and don't want the stress of all that and I'm also struggling with prenatal depression (on medication and receiving psychiatric support weekly) so just have not felt able to deal with sorting out house, finances. Have explained this to bf and rightly so I guess, he just stated 'what was your excuse before you we're pregnant'. He says he knows I'm not holding on because I want ex husband back but has left anyway saying he's sad he's wasted a year and half of his life with me, neglecting his own son (from previous marriage). Am totally heartbroken, he's always going on about how stress can cause ADHD etc in unborn children and he's gone ad caused me the most stress ever. He's not blocked my mobile number, blocked fb and twitter and completely cut me out of his life. I'm devastated. Crying non stop, I don't want to spk/see anyone and can't see how I'll ever get over this. Friends have said focus on pregnancy and doing best by her, but can't cope with life atm. He's finished with me countless times but never gone back to ex or blocked me etc and I've always took him back. I just really want him back.

Well we've been texting over the last few weeks, just light friendly chit chat resulting in a telephone conversation where he asked if I'd had 'the conversation' with my ex. I have had 'the conversation' and ex and I have decided to rent out our old martial home rather than selling it. Told this to ex bf and he went mental saying I didn't want to cut the cord with ex husband and despite my protests stating I'm not longer with him, we're separated, and I love him and want him, he wouldn't listen. He just carried on ranting and then ended the conversation. About 15 min later he text saying

There's no light at the end of this tunnel of mine, it now seems. Let's see where we all are in a year, shall we? Have a nice w/e, enjoy it the best you can. x. Then Then, like I say, see you are in a year (Back with ex hub , surely not) and then what the landscape looks like for those not on the inside. x.

I responded with

No Light end of tunnel, why cos my house isn't up for sale? That I'm not with my husband any more, that I've sorted out my forthcoming house and baby plans with my ex husband? Feels all ridiculous that I've just said I want us to be closer, want to share things, you be major part of my life, was plucking up the courage to ask if you'd come to my next scan and appointment with me because i want you to be part of this with me. That I'm being honest despite knowing it would piss you off (can't win really can I? Don't tell you you're pissed off, do tell you and am honest - get dumped!). Stupid me. As for have a nice weekend, sure it'll be fucking brilliant. Bloke I love just told me he doesn't want us to try. Great. Happy fucking weekend

Ive never spoken to him like this before, ive always pandered to him and grovelled and said im sorry. wish i had now as He then just text back saying forget it and we're over and he wants nothing to do with me anymore.

Honestly and please be honest is this my fault, I'm so desperately upset, crying and depressed. Can't spk to anyone I'm so alone and worried about the awful thought in my head, feel like I can't carry on.

Beckamaw Sun 16-Jun-13 21:42:09

I agree with the others.
He's saying that you have to prove that you have cut ties with your ex, who you have nothing to do with, while he is BACK WITH HIS EX???
What the actual fuck is this?

Money. He wants the bloody money.
I am just so very pleased that you haven't made a whole load of cash available to him. Good grief woman - this is atrocious!

Who has been paying for what during your relationship? I imagine there is more to find here.

I'm so sorry you are in this heartbreaking situation. You have obviously seen some wonderful qualities in this man, but the facts do speak for themselves. He is not half the person that you deserve.
Please seek some help through your GP. I think it may be useful in helping you cope, and reevaluate the situation.

I promise you, we can't all be wrong. In fact, the least desirable outcome would be his return.

AnyFucker Sun 16-Jun-13 21:46:43

It is is utterly painful to read how low you will go to hang onto this utter waste of space.

Please break it off completely now.

I am not sure it is even possible for one person to debase themselves any further.

honeysmummy1 Sun 16-Jun-13 21:56:16

The guy is a total a**hole, selfish and wants things on his terms.
I know you love him but please stay strong. Find the self esteem to tell him to get lost and start a new life with your children. You don't have to sell the house, it has nothing to do with him. He can hardly talk can he when hes gone back to his ex wife.
Keep your head up high, don't accomodate his every whim. Stay strong, believe there is a happy future for you. Positive thoughts create positive things.
Can you really see a future with a guy who has treated you like this while you are carrying his child?
See it as a lucky escape. Look forward to a future for you and your child

Ls271082 Thu 20-Jun-13 17:08:38

This is a good thing right?

I text him last night and asked him if was still wanting to come to forthcoming growth scan. Had no reply. Today I saw him asked if I should draw own conclusions from lack of response, said he hadn't received it so i said id resend and it warranted a response preferably a pleasant one and walked off. Anyway..... Guess what still no fucking reply!!!

I'm actually a bit mad, tell me this maybe the turning point at long last??

catwithflowers Thu 20-Jun-13 17:22:31

Why are you still texting him? It's sad and horribly painful for you but he doesn't love you or want to be in a relationship with you or your child.

desperateforaholiday Thu 20-Jun-13 17:22:49

This man is clearly not interested in you or your baby, I'm sorry to be so harsh but please stop putting yourself through this. Be positive for your new life with your baby, you really don't need him in your life.

badinage Thu 20-Jun-13 18:01:11

If you mean it's a good thing that you've finally realised this bloke's a waste of space and that you're going to give up hoping he'll become a decent human being, then yes it is.

Just make sure you tie him to his financial responsibilities.

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