I think I could probably do with a little objective perspective. I don't know whether I'm right in feeling a little upset at the way my partner speaks to me sometimes.
It's been over trivial things, really.. For example I sent him a funny website link, and used the website's 'share' button to send it to his email address. It's not a 'dodgy site' and I wanted to save myself the time of logging into my email and sending the link as I was about to finish my lunch break.
Anyhow, later that evening I asked him whether he'd received it and if he'd had a chance to read it? It wasn't in his inbox so I said "Oh, maybe the share thing didn't work, nevermind!" Well, to this he just exploded! He couldn't believe I'd given out his email to some random site, don't I know how those things are just scams to get active addresses?!?!
He was interrupted by having to pay for his food at the till, so he asked me to wait thirty seconds (we were on the phone). I sat there anxiously, expecting him to come back and berate me further. He had calmed down, but I ended up listening to a lecture about the evils of share buttons and his endless fight with spam mail. The ironic thing was, I realised I'd entered his email address wrong anyway!
There was another occasion that he ended up making me feel like an idiot because I hadn't checked prices when booking my cats at the vet. Before I'd had the chance to defend myself and explain that after all the questions required for registering and arranging times for them both it had been forgotten by me at the end of the call. It was actually on my list of info to collect, I'd just forgotten and after the telling off from P I did call back and get price info. But did he really need to get so agitated and use it as a way of saying that I'm always letting myself get ripped off in situations like this? (He has also mentioned things about not liking the way my landord has treated me in the past, that I'm letting him walk all over me).
I've told him how I've felt on these occasions, and asked him not to speak to me this way in future, as I didn't feel that I'd done anything to deserve being shouted at.
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Relationships
Right to not like the way he talks to me sometimes?
Anghara · 16/06/2013 01:07
Trying to keep control over your email address on the internet is like trying to stop a tsunami single handed. Part of going on the net/having email is accepting you're going to be spammed/email address ending up in places you're not happy about.
If that's the case, then he's taking something he has no control over and having a go at you for making him lose control.
That can't be right 
He must be doing it for other reasons then.
Maybe he enjoys the feeling he gets from making you sit and anxiously wait for his lecture, makes you feel you're useless and lost without his super-organised techniques (ie make you question yourself), brass tacks - he likes feeling in control and he's using you to get rocks off.
He's treating you like a parent would a small child.
You don't deserve anything!
If someone wants to say something to me, then go ahead and say it. I wouldn't accept a fucking lecture, and I'm surprised you didn't put the phone down while he made you wait for yours.
When he makes you think you might deserve it, do you go along with that and try to do things to get his approval?
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Thank you all for the helpful replies, I am taking things in and considering my options. And for the stories about your own holidays, it's given me a lot to think about. I think maybe I can pinpoint the source of some underlying anxiety I've been feeling about the holiday. I should be counting the days at the point, but instead find myself wondering how it's already so close!
I've checked and could possibly get 85% of the railcard refunded (but not until it's delivered!). The flights cost a fraction of what I paid out for the rail and I could probably handle never seeing that money again.
On the other hand, I think I had already decided that after the holiday I need to face up to whether this relationship is going anywhere, and more importantly, whether I want it to. We don't live in the same city and I have no intention of moving away from my job and friends. It may be that the holiday would be the last of what was only ever going to be a summer fling
MadBusLady, the comments about being 'walked all over' didn't sit right with me at all when he said it. He took what I had perceived as a normal tenant-landlord situation and turned it round to make me feel like I'd been in the wrong and taken advantage of. FFS, it was just a 6-month house inspection? I know landlords aren't there to be your buddy but P has made me feel anxious about mentioning the 12-month inspection to him when it comes up (and I probably won't mention it).
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