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DP has declared he can't look past my weight the way he could when we got together

(184 Posts)
WatchingTheRainFallInBlackpool Fri 14-Jun-13 10:39:43

NCed for this as think a couple of the school mums might know I'm on here.

Dp's working away from home at the moment which does make me think perhaps he says things he doesn't mean at times, but he's been coming out with more and more things like this recently and it's getting harder to just dismiss it as him being tired. His latest 'fault' is that he didn't mind my weight too much when we first got together, but he does now. If anything I think I'm lighter now than I was a few years ago- I think. He thinks I'm lazy and not disciplined enough and I'm not making enough effort for him- he works away a lot and sometimes I think he expects to come home to perfection- perfectly tidy house, etc. I'm not sure what I'm asking really, just came to a head last night and I don't want to tell anyone in RL, my family think he's fab (which he normally is).

AtWhatPointIsItWrong Fri 14-Jun-13 16:37:31

I was picturing you at least a size 16. What a KNOBBBER your husband is. If you are size 8 then you really don't need to lose a GRAM

TheCrackFox Fri 14-Jun-13 16:37:38

I just knew you would be very slim and not some poor woman who is housebound because she weighs 30stone.

20 yrs ago I had a prick of a boyfriend who constantly called me fat (5ft 8 and a size 10) and he did this to make me feel shit and that he genuinely felt I wasn't good enough for him.

Your DP may or may not be having an affair but the real fact we have is that he has no bloody right to speak to you like this. Tell him to go fuck himself.

yamsareyammy Fri 14-Jun-13 17:15:37

He is clearly disgruntled about something. Whether he is thinking about an affair I dont know.
I think I would be tempted to ask him outright.

Darkesteyes Fri 14-Jun-13 17:18:03

Even if she was a size 16 thats STILL no excuse to behave the way he has.

Waddlecakes comments like yours is how eating disorders start. Very victim blamey In fact its the second victim blaming comment ive seen on these threads in the past 24 hours.

Its about time women were valued for more than just their looks. Too many ppl have been brainwashed by "slebrity"

Januarymadness Fri 14-Jun-13 17:27:22

i need to shorten my advice in the light of recent information.


hesterton Fri 14-Jun-13 17:38:21

'Darling, I'm afraid I'm no longer happy with the size of you penis.I know it's the same as when we met, but now I feel I need a bloke with a bigger one. Sorry.'

AnyFucker Fri 14-Jun-13 17:41:50


Lizzabadger Fri 14-Jun-13 17:42:39

hesterton grin

Loulybelle Fri 14-Jun-13 17:47:39

Omg!!!!! Im 5 foot 3, and i'd love to be a 8/10.

Theres definately something amiss here.

Loulybelle Fri 14-Jun-13 17:48:24

and tell him exactly what Hesterton just said, not satisfied indeed.

clam Fri 14-Jun-13 17:49:50

Yeah, coz of course you could, if YOU felt the need to, lose weight. He, on the other hand, is going to be pretty stuck trying to alter the size of his knob.

Chubfuddler Fri 14-Jun-13 17:51:55

I don't understand. How exactly is your size something he has had to "look past" if you're a size 8-10?

The more I hear about this man the less I like him.

WatchingTheRainFallInBlackpool Fri 14-Jun-13 18:25:56

Thanks for the reassurance. I'm tempted to try and say something to him tonight (no idea what) but it would have to either be over the phone or via skype, not as easy as face to face plus I'm not very good at confrontation.

He thinks it would be OK if I was taller (though it's not my height he's complaining about) but in proportion to my height I look fat. I do look younger than I actually am and still have what my mum would call 'baby fat' in my 20s blush. So I wonder if that's where he's coming from, but I honestly don't look huge and I'm definitely buying the right size! FWIW he does work with a lot of women who are 'magazine slim'- the ones I've met anyway.

hesterton I wish I was that brave! grin

AnyFucker Fri 14-Jun-13 18:33:45

Stop questioning yourself, the bloke is a prick

Why would you need to be brave to hurt him like he has hurt you ?

Do you feel he is too good for you, like you are batting above your average ?

You won't be, btw

SoleSource Fri 14-Jun-13 18:35:54

I'm sorry I am siding with your DP on this one...

You do need to lose weight...HIM


OnTheNingNangNong Fri 14-Jun-13 18:36:19

Do tell him to get to fuck and what Hesterton has said. This man is a nasty piece of work.

In no way is your height/dress size fat. Don't even think about it.

ButchCassidy Fri 14-Jun-13 18:44:21

What a Cock
Tell him to fuck off!

Seriously irrespective of whatever size you are he is a twat.

Januarymadness Fri 14-Jun-13 18:49:32

You are in your 20s, you are a size 8-10, you have no kids and he is a prick of the highest order.

Life is too short to deal with that much crap. You need someone who will be there when life is hard. Someone you trust and someone worth fighting for. Do you really think this is him. 3 yrs in with no ties this should be sunshine and roses, not self doubt and pain.

Really tell him to get to fuck. He really isnt worth the heart ache.

Chubfuddler Fri 14-Jun-13 18:53:05

Yup. It's time to lose some serious weight - about 12 stone. Dump the fucker.

educatingarti Fri 14-Jun-13 18:54:33

You are not overweight. I don't think there is any way you could be and be a size 8-10!
I am 5ft 1inch and a size 16. I am overweight! (but working on it!)

His statement is manipulative!

If you are in any serious doubt about your weight - book an appointment with your GP practice nurse!

ImperialBlether Fri 14-Jun-13 18:56:29

"... he didn't mind my weight too much when we first got together..." How very gracious of him.

You are so young and have so much going for you. Do you really want to spend your life with this man? Couldn't you write him off as a starter relationship and spend some time being single and having fun? Apart from him being a complete twat, it must be lonely for you having him live away a lot of the time. Can you imagine some other kind of twatless life for yourself?

NoRainNoRainbow Fri 14-Jun-13 19:06:24

Op I'm exactly the same height and size as you. An XP gained 4 stone when we were together (2 years) he started telling me I needed to 'tone up' and commented on everything I ate.

Turns out, He was behaving like a knob so id dump him coz he didnt have the stones to dump me and wanted to play the victim.

Any man who says this to you is a wanker, use the penis comment from pp and walk away with your head held high

tribpot Fri 14-Jun-13 19:14:01

Is he having a fucking laugh? Send him a 'You're dumped' e-card with a photo of you noshing through a tub of Ben and Jerry's whilst flicking the V-sign.

Seriously - this is complete bollocks and you need a massive dose of self-esteem.

Vivacia Fri 14-Jun-13 19:14:37

I'm curious about what Waddle feels about her/his comment now.

BadgersRetreat Fri 14-Jun-13 19:18:45

He thinks it would be OK if I was taller

this actually made my jaw drop shock

just who the fuck does he think he is?

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