Well its been 8 months now and I'm such a different person, such a strong person, but when I look back why the hell did I put up with it for so long......but you just do its weird, here's a brief summary of what happened and what it took to get rid of him.
When I first met him he was so charming, said all the right things 'let me take care of you, treat you how you should be treated' always remember those words!!!! He seemed completely smitten with me, I suppose I was flattered he was handsome very manly, protective I thought seemed really caring, loved the fact I had children which was music to my ears. It wasn't long before I started to notice things though small things at first, snapping at me because I was 5 minutes late coming round to his house, laughing too much. Sitting too far away from him, sitting too close to him, not answering his text messages quick enough, or not answering the phone to him cheerful enough. Not making him feel welcome enough when he came round. Then he started loosing his temper more and more over nothing. Once in the car he lost his temper with me, if I answered him back it just made it worse so I ignored him he then got madder braked hard, undid my seatbelt told me get out I flew forward smashed my head on the dash. I was in tears he just told me to not to be so pathetic :-(. Eventually he calmed down but didn't apologise. He lost his temper in the car another time actually on my birthday and my 2 children were in the car scared shitless and that was when I knew this guy had to go! In between times he called me such cruel names, I couldn't cook to his satisfaction, I couldn't run my business, my clothes were the wrong colour even my nail varnish he would criticise! He chatted up other women on line, after I found out out and dumped him he begged for forgiveness, but then would do it again. When I was out shopping I must of been meeting someone else ohh it was a nightmare! loose his temper while having sex cos I wasn't doing it right. He held me up aginst the wall by my neck once and threw me on the floor cos he thought I was having an affair...all this in just 14 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So things got to the point I knew I had to get rid, I'd tried many times but always had him back, but its funny as soon as he started doing things infront of my kids my attitude changed. He HAD TO GO!!! I knew I was going to go through hell!!! I came on here moaned and complained, some had a right go at me some gave me advice, but the most important thing was it was somewere I could talk let off steam. I have no family around me and I felt isolated.
As predicted he wouldn't leave me alone kept coming around crying at first then got threatening, smashing doors in, I called the police so many times I was on red alert. I called the police when he came round cos he wouldn't leave he put his face against the door window and said 'you call the police and I will it the worse fucking day of your life' the police just kept taking statements tried to go around to warn him off but he was never in. 2 months in and he still wouldn't leave me alone. He put a false advert in a newspaper advertising me for sex, he had a naked picture of me threatened to post it anywhere he could, created false e mails telling me what a slag I was. Malicious texts phonecalls,told me he would never leave me alone and would make my life hell. I have my own business so it was very difficult to change numbers etc. Eventually a friend came with me to the police station to try get them to do something, this time they took it more seriously and took a statement did a report, spoke to him on the phone infront of me that was good :-). I also contacted the domestic violence unit who were fantastic and within an hour they had a letter sent to him warning him if he carried on he would end up with a prison sentence. The police decided also to issue him with a warning which they had to serve to him in person. Eventually they caught up with him, he swore at them to get off his fucking property , he ripped up the letter in a temper....But that was the end of it, he finally crawled under his rock. I'm still not totally convinced I'll never hear from him again but he's gone and no contact for 3 months.
I have become a much stronger person, spend lots of time with my children, stopped crying, my business is doing well, I have new friends a social life and I'm really happy. It was hell getting out of it but it was well worth it, this is just a smidgin of what happened but I wanted to share it to give some hope to those you are in a similar situation, its awful you do have to be strong but by god its bloody worth it DO NOT WASTE YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I survived and got out of an abusive relationship and mumsnet helped me!
26 replies
timetofaceit · 12/06/2013 22:50
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.