Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Businesslike language spouted by exes

(49 Posts)
themidwife Wed 12-Jun-13 07:39:12

Have noticed that exes & especially stbxhs seem to relish the overuse of ridiculous "businesslike" language in written communications (see now I'm doing it too!) Phrases like "aforementioned", "consolidation", without prejudice", "I am satisfied that", "With reference to" blah blah blah!

Any classics of this nature to share? grin

Bogeyface Wed 12-Jun-13 22:00:36

I have to agree with the person above who said that sometimes it can be difficult because the language you use indicates the type of relationship. So when a relationship is over, there is usually a change in language and that can sometimes go too far and end in pompous twat territory. I know I was guilty of that when ex and I split up, as I was keen to be common sense and business like in order to appear sensible. It took a while for us to come to a way of communicating that didnt make one or the other of us appear an arsehole, or put the others back up!

That said, some of these "Hitherto whom" letters are purely twattish people trying to control an ex by suggesting that they are cleverer or better informed than the ex.

BreathingLessons Wed 12-Jun-13 22:34:24

in court the judge asked my x a question about something, and he referred to me as the applicant when he was answering. grin I know his solicitor had done so, but fgs, I nearly laughed. Just held it in.

WhiteBirdBlueSky Thu 13-Jun-13 00:44:57

A poster on a thread a while back described this sort of thing as "when they think they're being Kofi Annan, but actually they're just being twats." That made me smile.

itsonlyapapermoon Thu 13-Jun-13 09:08:32

My ex likes to use "therefore" all the time. I don't think he actually knows what it means, and is an illiterate twat of the highest order, but it does make me laugh when he's trying to act smart.

brokenhearted55 Thu 13-Jun-13 09:36:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkballetflats Thu 13-Jun-13 09:37:13

It is truly hilarious when it is combined with atrocious syntax and grammar. I am guilty of doing this though: in the past I have replied in kind, but I've always made sure I'm a grammatically correct twat. grin

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved Thu 13-Jun-13 09:40:13

I'm afraid I do exactly this when complaining to various authorities (not h, no point, he needs very simple words!). I go very precise, formal and British in my vocabulary when I'm having to make certain people in authority take notice. Usually when they've acted in a pompous and horrible manner and I'm having to remind them in a human with just as much right to respect, politeness abs to be taken seriously...

It's interesting unpleasant exes use this type of stuff as well... Makes me think they are doing it for dominance and to assert their authority...

Absolutelylost Thu 13-Jun-13 10:36:27

A poster on a thread a while back described this sort of thing as "when they think they're being Kofi Annan, but actually they're just being twats." That made me smile.

I was going to quote that again, it made me laugh too and I sent it to a friend whose ex drives her mad like this.

My exH and I get on quite well now but he was a bugger for this. I'm afraid I reached a low point when I quoted him some of his own pompous email back to him a mere 2 years later as he was being so hypocritical.

I kept all his emails on a special folder entitled simply 'bollocks' and it was a great relief when all the legal stuff was done simply to delete the whole lot.

honey86 Thu 13-Jun-13 12:12:46

this made me laugh. the last text from fw ex was 'ive been informed to not have any contact with you but to send u this msg and see u in court'

as if a solicitor would advise to have no contact with the mother of his child, when he supposedly wants access! his grammar is also ridiculous, but he tries to sound so official and law-expert-like.
it turned out he never even spoke to a solicitor in the first place, just asked his cleaner friend for advice.
also, his 'solicitor's' advice went out of the window when he slandered me and my family on facebook and turned up outside my docs to intimidate me. pompous bellend hmm

meddie Thu 13-Jun-13 12:19:11

Rofl Absolutelylost. My email folder was called 'shitface'. My ex did this all the time.

"I hereby request that you cease and desist from calling me 'shitface' to my friends and family. This is slanderous and I will not tolerate it."

My reply... "ok shitface, will do"

honey86 Thu 13-Jun-13 12:32:38

amberleaf i laughed aloud when i saw your post about the internet degree grin if you read some of the msgs between the fnf brigade, sometimes you see it then.

i find it amusing when my ex talks in official language. he cant even afford decent clothes let alone solicitors fees. they dont even realise what a complete dick they are making of themselves hmm and calling the mother of his children 'the applicant' isnt making him look good at all, just shows that hes too immature to refer to you by name x

honey86 Thu 13-Jun-13 12:34:09

desist? does he mean resist? pmsl classic reply x

themidwife Thu 13-Jun-13 12:58:40

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Lweji Thu 13-Jun-13 13:21:19

He means desist, as in giving up.

Lweji Thu 13-Jun-13 13:25:10

My ex is notable for bad grammar and for putting ? at the end of sentences that are not questions.
I have to check myself not to correct him.

The other day, he only sent a message saying he was going to speak with DS at 1am, saying he would speak the next day.
I just had to ask him, Oh, do you mean Monday? (not Sunday, the usual time), as I'm fed up of him notifying me very late instead of the 24h mininum.

SorryMyLollipop Thu 13-Jun-13 16:12:09

SorryMyLollipop. Hope you and the DC are well. Further to our meeting last night can you confirm that you have received my email/letter minuting those discussions. If there is anything you want me to change/discuss please call me. Cheers


SorryMyLollipop Thu 13-Jun-13 16:19:30

BTW - I refused to read the "minutes" on principle (and that was three months ago)

Bogeyface Thu 13-Jun-13 20:35:22

I would have replied

Dear Ex

I can confirm I have read your minutes and would like to point out that you have not minuted the fact that I referred to you as Wanker throughout, and considered stabbing you in the face.


themidwife Thu 13-Jun-13 21:05:07

gringrin Bogeyface!!

Bogeyface Thu 13-Jun-13 21:28:57

PS I nominate my own self control for special mention

wink grin

honey86 Thu 13-Jun-13 22:33:20

LoL bogeyface <fist pumps the air> gringrin

SorryMyLollipop Thu 13-Jun-13 22:36:13

gringringrin Bogeyface!

themidwife Fri 14-Jun-13 05:48:01

Yes I had a similar statement after ex was bollocked by a judge for trying to have me put in prison for breaking the contact order & not making DD available for contact ONE Saturday when she was going to be a bridesmaid 200 miles away. Because I wouldn't let him "tell" me what he wanted to verbally (how it was all was all my fault no doubt) he handed over the statement. I handed it straight back unread but could see even then lots of long legal jargon & even highlighted sections. He must have been up all night doing that!!

pinkballetflats Fri 14-Jun-13 08:12:19

Bogeyface grin!!!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now