Men that chase/date pregnant women. All sleaze bags?

[No10]

Just after some advice really.

I'm pregnant due in a couple of months, a planned baby with my ex husband, I wanted a sibling for my son and we both decided this was a good way to do it.

At a very early stage of the pregnancy I met someone and we exchanged phone numbers, after a few flirty texts I told him I was pregnant and explained the ex husband situation. Fully expected him to back off, but the messages and phone calls continued and we recently had a date, had a lovely meal and a kiss. All very nice, yet feeling a bit wrong and I think he might be feeling a bit funny too as the contact has dropped right off.

Spilled all to my friend and she's said that men who go after pregnant women are either creeps or have a fetish and that I should end it now.

I do find it a bit strange that he still seemed interested after I disclosed the pregnancy but don't think he's a creep. Should I be wary?

[McBalls]

I don't think what your friend says is applicable here though, he wasn't initially interested in you because you were pregnant.

[McBalls]

As it is, he's just someone you met, had a date with and that was it (if indeed that is it).

The point of dates are to see if you're into each other, if he's decided not to go any further then that's his prerogative.

[HollyBerryBush]

Hmm depends on the bloke I suppose.

I have friends who re-met and married whilst she was pregnant with another mans child. Her then partner left when she was pregnant, she went home and met up with an old school friend. I guess they have been married 15 odd years now.

[No10]

I did think that but when he does text its still the same as before, just the amount of them has decreased significantly. Shouldn't he just cut contact if he's not interested?

I hate text messages, especially in situations like this!

[HollyBerryBush]

May be he does like you but doesn't want to be seen as a predatory male preying on a vulnerable woman? Keep the friendship alive and see if anything develops after?

[No10]

Knew this whole thing was a bad idea.

[MangoJuiceAddict]

Not all men who go on dates with pregnant women have a fetish for it, but some men do find women more attractive when they're pregnant. I think being attractive when pregnant is different to being attractive when not pregnant. Was he touchy feely on the date? If he seems keen to get you into bed then that indicates more to a fetish than if he simply asked you on a date. Did he mention the pregnancy whilst on the date?

[No10]

We never mention the pregnancy and he really wasn't touchy feely, we did have a kiss though.

[No10]

Should I talk to him?

[JauntyJess]

I can give you my experience of men and pregnant women but it probably isn't what you want to hear.

Name changed to protect ego.

I had a 'fling' during pregnancy, (for fling read several hundred text messages and 2 kisses) my marriage was crumbling around me and he was a nice distraction until he freaked out and he became another issue in my already issue filled life at that time. He continued to text after it was obvious the whole stupid thing had died a death, god knows what was going through his head... or mine. He never gave an explanation and I stopped contacting him. I still see him 5 days out of 7 and whilst it was very easy to get over, seeing him so regularly is causing me some embarrassment!

So my advice, if you think it will go the way it did for me, is to stop contact now and pretend it never happened. But if you think he might be a fully functioning adult with the ability to talk then have a chat with him and see what he says, after all the situation is not unique to pregnant women, I could have met the above mentioned man when not pregnant and it still could have ended the way it did!

[No10]

Thanks Jess.

Sounds like pregnancy isn't a good time to be around men!!!

[SourSweets]

Your pregnancy doesn't define you. You are still you! I'm due in 8 weeks too and would be very offended if someone suggested that a man was only interested in me solely because I was pregnant. If I were you I would forget the "does he have a fetish" thing and just see where it goes, exactly as you would if you weren't pregnant.

[FarBetterNow]

True story:
An 19 year old man met a young woman who was pregnant, but not obviously pregant
He asked her out .
She said ,'no I'm pregnant'.
He said 'no probs, I'll adopt it and bring it up as my own'.
They have been very happily married for 40+ years.

[claraschu]

He went out with you before he knew you were pregnant. How can you think he is interested in you because of your pregnancy, just because he didn't run away when he found out about the pregnancy?

Either he was just being nice and means to withdraw slowly, or he still likes you and isn't scared of the pregnancy. Just stay friendly and see where it goes if you like him.

[claraschu]

FarBetter-

Thats amazing; I know another story exactly like this, but more like 50 years married now.

[GirlWiththeLionHeart]

A friend of mine met her partner while pregnant. They now have one of their own too and have been together 10 years.