Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How did you meet your partner/husband?

(26 Posts)
talie101 Tue 28-May-13 16:04:32

Been on my own for quite some time. No real relationships since divorced. Happy being single but I really would like a relationship now. Problem is, how do you meet someone? I've tried internet dating over the years but nothing has ever come of that and I'm really fed up with the timewasters and games that are played on there. I know it works for some but it hasn't for me and I'm keen to try other means.

I really don't know how I can meet anyone though. I have an xh who is unreliable at picking dc's up so can not plan anything beforehand and if have planned, usually have to cancel dependant on whether he turns up or not! He has total control over my supposed 'free' weekends. My family are toxic and will only help out on their terms, and very rarely. Budget rules out paying a babysitter, and friends will only help out in emergencies for various reasons.

Am I doomed to be single until the dc's leave home and my time is then my own? I will be in my 50's then - will anyone want me then? Men this age tend to want women half their age don't they! What's that all about??!!

Please tell me there is hope! Anyone out there been in a similar situation and now live 'happily ever after' ? wink

bestsonever Tue 28-May-13 16:14:10

Hi, I empathize, I too have tried the internet dating over the years but nothing worthwhile and the older you get, the younger men of a similar age want them. Going to try out next as at least I can have fun and meet new people without any added pressure of a date. Have a look, it could work for you too, but it won't solve your babysitting arrangements, or lack of. Until you can find a way to get reliable support it will seem impossible. I have family that help, but that's only part of the issue.

SueDnym Tue 28-May-13 17:36:28

Guardian Soulmates. Kissed a lot of frogs (and a couple of psychopaths) first though.

biffnbuster Tue 28-May-13 17:39:29

A blind date arranged by a friend of a friend. Next week will be our 19th anniversary.

TheOrchardKeeper Tue 28-May-13 17:45:45

I didn't know DP very well originally. He was a friend of a friend that I liked the look of etc.

Had a few drinks too many and decided it would be a good idea to add him on fb, seeing as I barely ever got the chance to go out due to being a single mum.

Woke up the next day, expecting a 'sorry but who the fuck are you...' email but had a much nicer reply than that! We got chatting...

The rest is history grin

Part luck and part just deciding to make a move!

Offred Tue 28-May-13 18:03:52

I normally meet people through shared interests or friends. DH was a friend of friends who had moved away from my (his home) town for work. We met at a mutual friend's wedding. I normally pick out someone and, in the days before Facebook and children, gathered intelligence and tried to hang out where they were so I get to know more about them. You can stalk them on Facebook a bit though if you can't get out of the house easily grin

TheOrchardKeeper Tue 28-May-13 18:10:48

If it weren't for Facebook id likely still be single! smile

NotYoMomma Tue 28-May-13 18:13:23

In the kitchen of McDonald's when he was 16 and I was 17 lol.

Cosmosim Tue 28-May-13 18:14:52

Internet dating.

flipchart Tue 28-May-13 18:17:21

I was seeing some one else when I met my now DH.
Very long story!

gettingeasiernow Tue 28-May-13 19:43:15

Had worked in same company as him years previously, no flirting, quite liked each other from afar, but not close. I got pregnant with then partner just as dh was getting divorced. I left company. Years later we bumped into each other, me 49 him 53, we now say it was clear from first date that we would be together forever but there was a lovely long period of romantic dates and carefully getting to know each other before making it official.
Funnily enough a close friend of mine, same age, also married someone recently whom she had known as a friend earlier, at university in her case, reconnected in their fifties.
Never too late, love is love whenever it comes around.

Mintyy Tue 28-May-13 19:45:20

He was my best friend's boyfriend grin.

TheRealFellatio Tue 28-May-13 19:46:27

at work. An office.

talie101 Tue 28-May-13 19:53:57

Thanks for the replies.

I work in an all female environment, so no hope there. Have asked friends if they know any 'single' men, but alas they are all married! Not been lucky enough to just bump into anyone in a supermarket/park etc and get chatting. I guess I need to try make new friends and hope they know some single men, or just get more hobbies where men hang out? (but same problems listed before apply).

Maybe I'm destined to be single for the rest of my days? How depressing! sad

colafrosties Tue 28-May-13 19:56:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HauntedNow Tue 28-May-13 19:59:02

talle - I know what you mean. I've been single (with the odd date but nothing lasting), for 7 years and wonder if I'll ever find another relationship. I am happy being single but would really like someone special but how to find them is the question. I've tried and given up on internet dating. I've even asked friends to set me up on blind dates but they seem to think that I'm joking. Shamelessly joining thread to get any ideas. Good luck to you!

colafrosties Tue 28-May-13 20:00:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sjuperyoni Tue 28-May-13 20:26:00

Dp is my sisters dps brother grin

We spent a few years messing around and finally settled down for good when i fell pregnant with ds 2 and a half years ago.

I'd flirt with men at random if i were you - nothing wrong with a lasting look or a coy smile i have to stop myself doing it. To women for some reason it might not get you a date but a smile back etc is a nice confidence boost smile always helpful whether single or not i find!

cluecu Tue 28-May-13 20:53:20

Mutual friend got me to come along to pub knowing he'd be there and in the hope we'd get on. We got on so well we spent the night togetherblush

Couple of good dates and he told me he felt he should try again with his ex and I did the same with mine shock

Few months later he'd broken up with ex but I hadn't and politely declined a meet up. angry

A year on I was ready, he was still asking and we're now engaged grin

Looks crap on paper but it amazes us both how it's worked out. I'm not a believer in fate but I do get a warm feeling thinking back to how it started and where it's brought us grin

Mum2Fergus Tue 28-May-13 21:16:57 smile

Kione Tue 28-May-13 21:39:04

i've met 3 of ny 4 serious boyfriends including DP on nights out blush two started as drunken sex/snogs the other one a little bit slower. But if I am single and drunk I am a massive flirt.
Can you go out with friends and let down inhibitions...?

Tapirbackrider Tue 28-May-13 21:44:44

We met at a police station after I was mugged.

WestieMamma Tue 28-May-13 21:59:36

At a ballroom and latin american dance class for beginners.

pegster Tue 28-May-13 22:03:38

Speed-dating! Know its a cliche but I genuinely had gone along as a laugh to support a friend who had been single for a long while.
Together nearly 7 years, married for 3

UniqueAndAmazing Tue 28-May-13 22:13:01

I met dh at church. he's the organist, I'm in the choir grin

so I would say at a hobby.
but it sounds like you don't have time for that.

imet ex through mutual friends.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: