Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Upset about been brushed with the same brush, is it a mothers thing?

(50 Posts)
EvenHotGirlsFart Tue 28-May-13 15:23:06

Right, this my first thread. I just need some guidance and help. Maybe I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I'm really upset.
My parents in law like to treat all their 3 sons usually the same, fair enough, I can understand that, been a mother myself too.
We are going on a holiday to a Vila, and there's 4 bedrooms, but only 3 have on suite bathroom, all the family is going
So one of the bedroom is for the parents in law
The other is for the oldest son and his partner who have a small baby (9monthsold) , fair enough.
And I was thinking they were going to offer the last on suite bedroom for us , im married to his middle son with a 3years old Dgd.
But no they said to toss a coin to see who's going to get the last good bedroom.
His younger brother is not married doesnt have a child but he's taking his girlfriend and her son who's 9 years old to the holiday.
Now please help, I said to husband that's not fair I'm not one of her sons and I don't like to be brushed by the same brush like that, I'm over 30 with a small girl, not a child. He said I'm been unreasonable.
Am I really. Please put some sense on me then. Because I feel really upset.

Patchouli Tue 28-May-13 15:25:55

Sorry, I don't get the 'brush' thing.

I can see why they went for the toss-a-coin if it's going to cause bad feeling.

seeker Tue 28-May-13 15:27:02

So, let me get this clear- you think you should get a better bedroom because you're married????????

seeker Tue 28-May-13 15:28:02

I think "brushed with the same brush" means being treated the same as the unmarried brother.........

GoodbyePorkPie Tue 28-May-13 15:28:30

Is it really a big deal? Is the last room really awful or is it just that it doesn't have an en suite? Is there another bathroom you can use?

shiningcadence Tue 28-May-13 15:28:43

Tossing the coin seems fair to me. I don't understand why you have more right to the en suite than the other brother? And I don't understand the brush thing. Sorry, I'm not being mean, I genuinely don't get it!

smokinaces Tue 28-May-13 15:29:22

So youngest son has a family too? Only not his blood child? And youre pissed the grandparents aren't putting your dgd above this "ring in" child?

It's a bathroom. Yabu.

KatoPotato Tue 28-May-13 15:30:07

You've still got a bedroom though just not en-suite?

KatoPotato Tue 28-May-13 15:30:22


StrawColoured Tue 28-May-13 15:30:25

Do you mean "tarred with the same brush"?

DiscoDonkey Tue 28-May-13 15:30:35

Erm have no idea what the brushing thing is all about but I do think you are being unreasonable. Not sure why you think you have priority over someone else?

Who is paying for the holiday? Are you all paying an equal share?

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 28-May-13 15:30:42

I don't get why the BILs marital state comes into it. They are a couple with a child just the same as you, your DH & child. Neither group trumps the other. Toss of a coin is fair.

AnythingNotEverything Tue 28-May-13 15:30:47

I think you mean "tarred with the same brush".

It sounds like the only fair way is for everyone to draw straws.

EvenHotGirlsFart Tue 28-May-13 15:30:54

Ok then, appreciated the help

DiscoDonkey Tue 28-May-13 15:31:43

Also if three bedrooms have ensuites surely that means you will have the main bathroom to yourself? You won't be without a bathroom will you?

KatoPotato Tue 28-May-13 15:32:01

What's 'the mothers thing' ?

TallyGrenshall Tue 28-May-13 15:33:19

The oldest couple are having one en-suite room, and a couple with the small baby are having another, leaving the 2 couples with older children to fight it out over the other en-suite.

A coin toss sounds a fair way of deciding it to me. It's nothing to do with who is married or not, or how much they think of you - it's being fair.

Or because you are married to one of their sons, do you want to be treated as special and more important than your BIL's girlfriend? Because they are not married?

TheRealFellatio Tue 28-May-13 15:34:22

If thee bedrooms have en suite bathroom facilities then presumably the fourth bedroom gets exclusive use of the main family bathroom, which none of the others will need. I don't see the problem. confused

Also do not understand the thread title AT ALL. grin

TheRealFellatio Tue 28-May-13 15:34:37

three, not thee

EvenHotGirlsFart Tue 28-May-13 15:35:53

Just the toss a coin thing felt all a bit childish

FobblyWoof Tue 28-May-13 15:37:05

What tally said.

That's how I see it, but then maybe I'm confused from the original post.

Could you clarify OP?

EvenHotGirlsFart Tue 28-May-13 15:38:11

I'm sorry English is not my first language , but that's what strawcoulored said"tarred with the same brush"

shiningcadence Tue 28-May-13 15:38:50

It's fair though.

shiningcadence Tue 28-May-13 15:39:46

Sorry x post. Tossing a coin is a fair way to decide something like this IMO.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 28-May-13 15:40:13

But expecting to be treated better because you are married and not 'just' a GF (who sounds pretty long term, if she's bringing her child) and feeling aggrieved about this isn't childish?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: